Our Minor Mistake

After the whole wrong number incident Laura and I decided that it would be far better to tell Dan that he was going to be a father face to face rather than over the phone. The one thing holding me back from telling him was that I wasn’t fully sure it was his. I had decided that I would just put Ben out of my head. Chances were that it was Dan’s anyway.

The next day was Saturday and it was the day me and the gang usually meet in the car park behind ikea and as Laura said it would look weird if I didn’t turn up so at about seven thirty o’clock in the evening we set off to the car park.

The car park is big and sheltered. As usual there is a small fire in an oil drum and our friends were all sat on the grey stone wall. Dan was sat in a shopping trolley that he had nicked.

We walked up to them and said the usual hellos. I jump into the trolley in front of Dan. ‘’Hey’’ I said kissing him. As the night goes on I decide to tell him now before he finds out tomorrow from someone else.

‘’Hey Dan can I have a word?’’ I say darkly. He gives me a scared look.

‘’What about?’’ he asks suspiciously narrowing his eyes.

I drag him off. ‘’Dan the thing is’’ I start. I have no idea what I was going to say. I really should have planned this out more. I feel tears against my eye lids.

I feel Dan touch my arm gently. ‘’What wrong Beth?’’ he asks tucking a lock of my hair behind my ear. I have gone out with Dan so long I have forgotten how sweet he can be.

‘’I’m pregnant’’ I say boldly.

Dan just stares at me blankly. I can see the terror in his eyes and it almost makes me laugh. ‘’What? Is it mine?’’ he asks.
‘’Of course it’s yours’’ I say trying to sound as offended as possible even though there was that little, niggling bit of guilt at the back of my mind.

‘’Sorry, I know you wouldn’t cheat on me. I was just in shock’’ he said closing his green eyes.
He hugs me as my tears seep onto the soft blue material of his hoody. He smelled vaguely of lynx and smoke. ‘’It’s going to be fine Elizabeth’’ he said quietly.

Guilt fills my mind as I hug him. I can’t believe that I cheated on him.

*

Next Monday I walk to the spot behind the bike shed where everyone hangs out. As I walk in everyone looks at me funny. I know everyone know and I glare at Laura and Dan because they are the only two that know.

‘’It wasn’t them who told us Elizabeth’’ says Nikki, a tall red headed girl.

‘’It was Elle’’ said Laura looking at me pleading.

I nod. ‘’Of course it was. I bet the whole school knows by now’’ I say sitting down and putting my head in my hands. Dan sits down next to me and puts his arms round me.

When the bell rings we all set off to class. As I walk into class everyone turns and stares at me. There is a sudden wave of whispers. I walked forward but before I could go any further Elle Crosby was in front of me pulling a smug look that made me want to slap her.

‘’Hi Elle how are you?’’ I say giving her a mock friendly smile.

‘’You really are a slag you know that’’ she says coldly glaring at me.

‘’I really don’t see why its anything to do with you’’ I say. She comes closer to me, dangerously close and hisses something in my ear.

‘’Ben’s mine you bitch’’ she hissed before storming past me. Mrs Carlson walks into the room as Elle leaving.
‘’Where are we going Miss Crosby’’ she says.

‘’Toilet’’ Elle says glaring at me as she walks out.

‘’Sit down please Elizabeth’’ she says. I take my seat at the back where I had been moved for talking.

As I sat through English my head was filled with thought. I had no idea Elle had even known Ben. I also didn’t know that Ben wasn’t single. I have never regretted anything more than doing it with him.

I didn’t see Elle again that day but then I needed to tell my parents. I knew how they would take it. My parents were highly religious Protestant’s who still thought that there little Elizabeth was the living Virgin Mary.

At around nine in the evening I went down the stairs and into the living room where both my parents were watching television. I sat down in the chair. They both looked at me in surprise. I don’t normally speak to them in the evening.
‘’I have something to tell you’’ I say calmly. ‘’I’m pregnant’’ I say before they can object.

They look at me in shock. This lasts for about ten minutes until my mum broke the silence. ‘’Oh Elizabeth’’ she says looking at me in what I can only describe as a mixture of shock and disappointment which made my heart drop as a extreme guilt filled me.

‘’Are you sure?’’ she says. I nod.

‘’How could this happen. You were supposed to wait until you were at least eighteen before you had intercourse with a boy’’ said my dad. I winced. I’m definitely not used to my father talking about sex.
‘’No one waits till they’re eighteen dad’’ I say.

‘’Well you should have at least used protection and who is the father’’ he splutters, his moustache quivering.

‘’I’m sorry and the father is Dan Bradshaw’’ I say.

‘’Doesn’t he smoke drugs’’ says my mother.

‘’I want you out of my house’’ he says.

‘’Don’t be stupid Charles we can’t kick our pregnant daughter out in the streets’’ says my mum rolling her eyes. ’’Don’t listen to him Elizabeth. In the morning you are going to go to confession and then the doctors. Then when the baby is born we’re going to put it up for adoption’’ she says.

‘’I’m not putting it up for adoption’’ I say defensively.

‘’Oh sweetie, you can’t look after a baby on your own’’ says my mother.
‘’And why the fuck not’’ she says.

‘’Language’’ she hisses. ‘’You are not responsible enough to look after a child.’’ She yells.

‘’I can look after a child’’ I retort.

‘’Don’t argue with me. You aren’t responsible enough to look after a child. If you can’t even use a condom when having sex with a drug addled boy then you are not responsible to have a child’’ she yelled.

‘’We were drunk you stupid old hag’’ I shouted back.

‘’Don’t talk to your mother like that, get out now’’ dad intercepted. ‘’You don’t deserve to be in a loving home you useless little slut’’ he hissed.

Tears fell down my cheeks as I ran upstairs and piled clothes and shoes into a hold all.

Grabbing some money from my parent’s room I ran out into the summer time rain. I raced straight to the bus stop and sat their waiting for the next bus. I had no idea where in was going. I looked up at the places on the little board. Then I saw the perfect place. Scarborough. My aunt Cora lived in scarborough. I wasn’t quite sure of her address and I haven’t seen her since I was five. It was a long shot but it just might work.