I'll Hum Along

It was really nice having Josh back to give a hand with things. Looking after three kids, two cats, and a dog was a lot of work for one woman; especially when that one woman had had surgery. Speaking of that, I had recovered well. After my mom had left, she called me a lot to ask how I was. Even when she moved up to Vancouver, she was still dropping by and calling to see how I was. Sometimes I wish my mother wasn’t such a doting person, but that’s just how she was.

“Hey Josline, do you know where my…” Josh said as he walked into the bedroom, looking puzzled. I took one look at him and knew what he was searching for.

“Left-hand top drawer in the bathroom.” I said, turning back to my book. Josh tilted his head at me.

“Why the hell would my tie be in there?” Josh mumbled as he walked out of the bedroom. I shook my head at him and listened to him go into the bathroom. I heard the drawer slide open and then silence. “It’s not in there!”

“Try the other side!” I yelled at him. Another drawer slid open, and there was silence again.

“Oh, God dammit.” I heard Josh say. I couldn’t help but laugh. Josh came back into the bedroom, holding a tie out to me. “Why the hell was it in there?”

“You put it in there because you said you needed a safe place to keep it.” I said, giving him a strange look. Josh thought for a moment.

“Oh, okay.” He said, throwing his tie down onto the bed and walking out. I shook my head at him again before climbing out of bed. My parents had offered to take the kids off our hands for a night so Josh and I could spend it together. I told them they didn’t have to, but my dad said it would be a good thing, because Josh was leaving in a week again for the Face the Music tour. And, then about two weeks after Josh leaves, I was going to Toronto to record vocals for a friend’s band. Sometimes I wondered how Josh and I managed to keep the relationship together, but most of the time I didn’t question it. We had been together for quite a while; we were making it up as we went along.

I looked around for what I wanted to wear to dinner, finally deciding on a pair of jeans and fancy cardigan to go over my black tee. Josh came back into the bedroom just as I was doing up my belt. “I am really not used to the house being so quiet.” Josh said. As soon as he said that, we both heard Bennie bark loudly at something outside. I raised an eyebrow at him, “Okay. I am not used to the house being so quiet with the children gone.”

“Generally, it’s fairly quiet. We just save up all that energy for when you come home.” I said, walking up to Josh. His tie was a bit crooked, and it bothered me. I readjusted the tie, and Josh rolled his eyes at me. “Oh, don’t give me that.” I smirked.

Josh laughed and shook his head. “I’ll do whatever the hell I please!” Josh said. I gave him a look, and Josh hesitated before answering to that, “I’m sorry.” Josh bowed his head and walked out of the room while I laughed. I started to walk out also, until my phone beeped at me. I stopped and grabbed the phone off the bedside table, noticing it was Stephanie who sent me a text.

Zack’s in the hospital; it was an overdose.

My knees felt weak. I read the text over and over, refusing to believe it. Not Zack. Any one but Zack. I sat on the bed, in complete shock. I ended up dropping my phone, it clattering to the floor. It scared whatever cat was on the bed, I wasn’t paying attention. I covered my mouth with a hand just as Josh popped his head into the room. “What did you do?” he asked. When I didn’t respond, he knew something is wrong.

Needless to say, date night was cancelled. Instead, Josh called Stephanie, because I was shaking too bad to do it. Josh and I drove to the hospital and met Stephanie in the lobby. She was looking pretty shaken up about it. And who wouldn’t be? She told us that she came home from school and saw Zack passed out on the floor. She tried to wake him up but she couldn’t do anything. I was reminded of when I found Airin in our basement when he overdosed, and that just brought back a lot of bad memories.

As we drew closer to the room Zack was in, I was shaking really bad. Josh noticed this and put his arm around me. Stephanie said Zack was sleeping when she left, but when we stepped into the room, he was wide awake. He looked over at us, confusion falling over his face, but he soon gave a weak smile. I broke away from Josh and rushed over to the side of the bed, throwing my arms around Zack. I just let the tears fall after that.

After I had clung onto my friend for a moment, I let go, noticing that Zack’s shirt was now stained with my tears. Zack kind of laughed at that. I looked over at the other two, who were lingering by the door. Stephanie said she was going to go get some coffee, and Josh said he’d join her, and that he’d bring something back for me. I nodded and gave them a smile and they left the room. I looked back at Zack, who’s smile had fell off his face, and I hated it. I was now kicking myself in the ass for not believing Airin when he suspected this would happen, for when I noticed Zack had been acting differently...I felt like a shit friend.

I sat down in the chair next to the bed and wrung my hands together in my lap. Zack studied me for a moment before speaking, “You look like you want to say something.”

I looked up at him and sighed. “All I want to know it why and what?” Zack looked away from me, looking embarrassed, or ashamed. “Zack, what did you take?”

It took him a moment to answer, “Cocaine. Sometimes ecstasy.” Zack admitted. That was a shock. “Why? Because it was the only way I could feel like I was human again.There was nothing else to help me.”

The way he said it, such a serious tone, threw me off. “What about me? Or the rest of the band? Or even Stephanie?”

“Everyone else is way too busy with their own shit, I didn’t bother.” Zack said. I opened my mouth to say something, but the door opened and a young looking girl in nursing scrubs came in. She looked a little bit shocked when she saw me sitting there.

“Oh, hello.” she greeted with a warm smile. “I’m Taylor. Are you one of Zack’s friends?” she asked, stepping towards us. She was a very cute girl, very soft-spoken.

I gave her a nod. “Yes, I’m Josline.” I told her, my voice cracking slightly. She gave me a comforting sort of smile, then turned to look at Zack.

“Nice to see you’re awake.” she said.

“Eh, I’d rather be sleeping. Or dead. I don’t know at this point.” Zack said.

“Well, if you keep mouthing off to my supervisor, you might be.” Taylor said, giving Zack a bit of a smirk. Taylor shook her head and picked up the chart at the end of the bed and looked over all the beeping machines in the room. “Your heart rate has gone down. We can probably take you off the drip now...” Taylor noted something on the chart before going back to Zack. “Does it hurt any where?”

“Yeah, one place.” Zack said with a smile. “Can you kiss it better?”

Taylor made a face, “I’ll get Melinda for that.” Taylor said, and Zack looked disgusted. Taylor smiled and hooked the chart on the bed again. “Alright, I’ll come check on you in about an hour.” She smiled and waved at me.

Once Taylor left the room, I looked back to Zack. “What is it?” he asked.

I had been thinking while Taylor was puttering around the room, “I really want you to get better Zack.” I said. He looked a little concerned with where I was going with this. “So, until you get better, you’re not part of this band.”

Zack looked shocked. I really hated having to say that, but I had to. “But...”

“Your health is more important than being in this band.” I said. “So, what is more important? The band, or the drugs?” Zack looked up at me, “If you pick the drugs, you’re never coming back. You pick the band, we’ll overlook it; we’ll help you.” Zack looked away again, not saying anything. I noticing his jaw clenched at one point, so I reached over and took his hand. “We’re always here to help you.”