I'll Hum Along

“You guys have been so fucking great!” I yell into my mic, which was followed by deafening cheers. “This has been the best show yet on this tour!”

“You say that about every show Josline.” Marque said. I waved him off. We were playing the last show of the tour in Vancouver, and it was just so great to be back home. Granted, I hadn’t even been to my house the whole day because I was trying to prep for the show. I looked over at Zack, who appeared to be doing alright; he was tuning his guitar for the next song. Maybe I was getting worried over nothing. Zack wasn’t smart, he wouldn’t do drugs. I smiled lightly before turning back to the crowd.

“So, who’s scared of spiders?” I asked, and a bunch of people cheered. “Well, hopefully this song doesn’t freak you out. I nodded to Zack, who smiled at me, then started the song.

We are the people of a generation lost in time
Not knowing which truth to believe
We belong to ones that live without a future or desire
Nothing to lose or to achieve

But I'm out
So come and get it
The only thing that’s left in me
My inhibitions will not fail me now

I'm sick of spiders on my back
And I'm stuck and can’t stop running
I feel them sneaking up on me now
One drip of venom in my neck
And my mind just can’t stop spinning
I'm calling out can you hear me now

Save your breath and leave the images down in your mind
I know exactly what to do
I'm not the one that'd let you sting me now and let me dry
Yeah soon the joke will turn on you

Oh I'm out
So forget it
The only thing that’s left in me
My inhibitions will not fail me now

I'm sick of spiders on my back
And I'm stuck and can’t stop running
I feel them sneaking up on me now
One drip of venom in my neck
And my mind just can’t stop spinning
I'm calling out can you hear me now

Can you save me from myself
Can you save me from myself
Cause the higher I climbed to an escape, the harder I fell
(save me from myself)
I'm sick of spiders on my back
And I'm stuck and can’t stop running
I feel them sneaking up on me now
One drip of venom in my neck
And my mind just can’t stop spinning
I'm calling out can you hear me now

The rest of the show was amazing. While we were cleaning up back stage before going out to talk to the fans, I walked over to Zack, who was wiping his face. “Sounded awesome tonight, Zack.” I said to him. He looked at me and shook his head.

“I was a little off on Spider’s chorus, and my solo could have been stronger on Detox.” Zack said, shaking his head. He looked up at me, and he looked dead tired. He had bags under his eyes, and dark circles around them too. I was a little shocked. He seemed fine before we got on stage.

“Zack, sweetie, are you feeling okay?” I asked him, putting my hand on his shoulder. He shrugged it off.

“I’m fine, Josline.” Zack said. “I’m tired. That’s it.” Zack told me. I gave him a light smile and nodded. “I’m going to talk to some people, okay?” I nodded again and Zack walked away from me. I sighed slightly, biting my bottom lip.

Before I could say anything, two arms were wrapped around my waist. “Well, pretty lady, long time no see.” I had a wide smile on my face. I turned around and faced Josh, throwing my arms around his neck. I planted a kiss on his lips, and then stood flat on my feet.

“Wait, where are the kids?” I asked.

“I’m fine Josline, thanks for asking.” Josh said, and I frowned. “Don’t worry my mom’s watching them.” Josh smiled at me. I smiled back and wrapped my arms around his middle. It felt good to be home.

A few days had passed since I got home. Marque brought Duncan and Kaylee over to my house. We had bought a trampoline for the back yard, and the kids really wanted to try it out. I Josh and Matt had tried to put it together the day before, but Josh gave up and asked me to help Matt instead. I was a bit handier than Josh was. If I didn’t go into music, I probably would have been a mechanic or a handyman…person. I was surprised Josh could even turn on a computer some days. We needed Joshes help putting up the net, though.

I brought both of the twins outside with Marque, while the three older kids climbed onto the trampoline. Marque and I sat in the grass close by with the twins. Autumn didn’t like sitting in the grass, and she would start wailing every time Marque would try to set her down on it. After the third attempt, Marque finally gave up and set my daughter on his lap. Kodiak, however, sat cheerfully next to me, watching the three kids bounce around.

“God, they’ve grown up so fast.” Marque said, referring to the twins. He was currently putting Autumn’s hair into pigtails on the top of her head.

“Yeah, can you believe they’re a year old?”

Marque shook his head. “Absolutely not.” He smiled. “But, honestly, I can’t believe we have kids at all.”

“You know, we always talk about this when we get together.” I said and Marque smiled at me.”

“It’s kind of a tradition. We talk about how we never wanted kids, and then we,” he covered Autumn’s ears, “bitch about our husbands.” I giggled at him. “Wow…you actually have a husband.”

“Don’t remind me.” I said. “I wonder who’s going to be the next one to get hitched and have kids; Matt or Zack?” I asked.

“Probably not Zack.” I raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t hear? Bianca dumped him.”

“No, I didn’t hear. When did this happen?” I asked.

“I can’t believe you didn’t hear. It was around the time we did our interview at Much Music.” Marque explained to me.

“I can’t believe he didn’t tell me!” I exclaimed. Josh came outside as soon as I said that with a glass of water.

“Who didn’t tell you what?” Josh asked.

“Zackary never told me that he and Bianca broke up!” I said.

“Oh, he’s in trouble. You used his full name.” Josh chuckled.

“It’s not funny, Joshua.” I said, and Josh frowned. “He’s being very distant with me. I’m worried about him.”

“He’s got a lot of stress going on his life.” Marque said. “He probably wants to keep things private.”

“But he’s not normally like this. I think something’s wrong.” I said. Both Josh and Marque opened their mouths, “No, I think I’m right.”

And I really hoped I wasn’t.