I'll Hum Along

My mother was being very strict about not over-exerting myself. The doctor said that moving around was a must to help me feel better, but it was a terrible feeling. It felt like something was stabbing me in the gut every time I moved. Mom was also making me eat rather healthy foods, which she conferred with Josie on. Jason came over and talked to me about natural pain relievers at one point, and he also brought me flowers. I loved my guitar tech. Airin and Marque stopped by a day or two after I got out of the hospital (Marque brought a vegan lasagna over, to which my dad commented on what a “nice housewife” he is. Marque just stuck his tongue out at him) to see how I was doing and to take the kids off mine, and my parents hands, for a little while. Even Zack dropped by for a few minutes. He wasn’t looking as tired as he had been the past while. Maybe now he had been getting some sleep?

Everyone else had gone to sleep, so I was lying in bed reading a book. That’s all I had really been doing. It was around 10:30 at night, and my eyes were starting to droop. I looked up when my bedroom door opened. “Mum?” Finley squeaked at me.

“Finley, why are you up?” I asked him.

“I can’t sleep.” He said, rubbing his eyes. I smiled lightly, closing my book.

“Come on, come cuddle with me.” I motioned for him to come in, and he did, closing the door behind him. Finley crawled up onto my bed on my non-scarred side and snuggled up to me. I put my arm around him and took off my glasses, which I really only used for reading. “So, why can’t you sleep?”

“I’m not tired.” Finley told me, trying to hide his yawn.

“Oh, really?” I said, poking his nose. His wrinkled his face at me. He definitely got that from me. “What’s the real reason?”

“I miss daddy.” He admitted. I gave him a smile.

“He’ll be back soon.” I said.

“But then he’ll leave again.” Finley said, and it startled me.

“You know he’s busy, right?” Finley nodded. “And he loves you very much.” I understood how hard it must have been on Finley not being around Josh, or me, a whole lot. I was never as busy as Josh, mostly because my band hadn’t reached the level of recognition his band had (and we had been around longer than they have). But, even when Josh was home, I noticed that he was always off doing other things, and I think that’s what made Finley feel so detached from him a year or so ago(we remember Josh wanting to ship him to Timbuktu for screaming ‘I hate you’ at him, right?). I felt exactly how Finley did when I was his age with my dad. I absolutely love my dad to bits and pieces, but he would be gone so often, I started feeling that he didn’t love me.

I pulled my son in closer to me, pulling my blanket over him. I knew he was going to fall asleep in my bed; might as well get him comfortable. “I know that you miss your dad, and I know that he’s gone a lot, but he does love you, sweetie. And I know he misses you, too. Who wouldn’t miss your adorable little face?” I asked, pinching one of his cheeks. He frowned and swatted my hand away. Sassy little bugger, he was.

“I know he loves me. He tells me all the time. He says the only thing he loves more is you.” Finley squeaked at me. I smiled at that.

“Then you know that he’ll be back.” I said. Finley nodded, and yawned. “Now, get some sleep.” I said, poking his nose. Finley nodded and laid down while I leaned over slightly to turn off my bedside light. My side kind of hurt as I did that, but it didn’t linger long. Soon, Finley was snoring away. “Not tired, huh?” I muttered. I shook my head and laid down.

I woke up around 9 in the morning, later than when I would usually wake up. The painkillers I had been taking really tuckered me out. Finley wasn’t in the bed, so I assumed my mom had woken him up to get him ready for school. I slowly got out of bed; the right side of my stomach was aching. I grabbed my glasses, too lazy to put my contacts in that day, and walked out of my room, and into the kitchen. My dad was sitting at the table with a cup of what I assumed was coffee, and the morning paper. He also had the radio playing softly in the background. He looked up when I came into the room.

“Morning dear.” He said, flipping a page of the paper noisily. I gave a weak smile. “Are you feeling alright?”

“It kind of feels like something is trying to claw its way out of me.” I walked over to a cabinet that contained my pain killers and grabbed one, also getting a glass of water to wash it down.

“You don’t have an alien parasite in you, do you?” dad asked.

“No, I don’t, dad.” I said, walking over to the table. I pulled out a chair and sat down carefully, my dad eyed me up and down.

“You look like Death, kid.” Dad told me. I raised an eyebrow.

“Thanks.” I frowned at him, sticking the small pill in my mouth and drowning it in water. “Mum take Fin to school?” I asked.

Dad nodded. “She also went grocery shopping. She had that you were running low on food.”

“She didn’t have to do that.” I said.

“It’s your mother. If she didn’t she’d feel like there was no point to her.” Dad said, turning another page. My mom always was the kind of person that always needed to do something, even if she didn’t have to.

I noticed what my dad was reading, some kind of sports article. “As long as I’ve known you, you’ve never been a sports guy.” I said.

“Oh, I’m trying to prep myself for this upcoming movie. I’m playing a football coach. Need to see how they do things.” Dad said. I gave a slight nod.

“Dad, how did you ever cope with being away from your family while you were filming?” I asked. Dad looked up with curious eyes.

“Why do you ask?” he folded the newspaper up and looked at me.

“I had a little talk with Finley last night, and he just really misses Josh. I told him that he’d be back soon, but then Fin said, ‘but he’ll leave again’.” I explained. “Kind of broke my heart when he said that.”

Dad gave me a soft smile. “I remember when you were little; you’d scream bloody murder every time I’d leave the house, even if I was just going to the store, or out to get the mail.” He told me, and I smiled. Definitely sounded like me. “Finley’s at that age where he really needs his dad in his life, and with his, and your, line of work, Finley’s not really getting it. I know Josh is a very busy person, and he’s also very good at what he does. But, he is also a very good dad. Being away from your children is hard, especially if you feel you haven’t been in their life much, but you just have to explain to them that you do love them, and that you will be back.”

I toyed with the handle on my cup as I listened to him. “That’s pretty much what I told him.” I said. “I just don’t want Finley to feel like he doesn’t know Josh.”

“I’m pretty sure that won’t be a problem.” Dad smiled, placing his hand on top of mine. My dad had a strange way of making me feel better.

My head turned towards the radio when a familiar tune started playing. It was Desperate Measures. “God, it’s like I can’t escape him.” I said. My dad looked a little confused, and then realized what was playing, and he smiled.