You're a Regular Decorated Emergency

My cursed iPod was on the floor by now, and I wouldn't be surprised if it hadn't broke when I threw it. Don't I ever buy songs that don't have to do with love?!
Note to self: buy some random crappy songs for situations like these.

Desperate to distract myself, I picked up a book I had started ages ago, but never finished. I flipped through the pages until my bookmark fell out into my lap.

It was a small picture of me, Ryan, and Brendon outside the water park. It must have been taken in about 7th grade. My hair was longer, and I still had braces. Ryan looked like a complete twig, one bony around slung around my shoulder. Brendon was smiling so big his face looked about to crack, balancing three large ice cream cups in his hands.

Tears pricked at my vision as I remembered the day it was taken. We had finally convinced our parents to take us to the new water park that had opened. Within three seconds of entering, Brendon insisted on getting ice cream. And, being the gentleman he always was, bought one for me and Ryan as well. The picture was taken not too seconds before Brendon had tripped and my hair was suddenly topped with mint chocolate chip ice cream.

"Thats it!' I muttered to myself, getting up and grabbing my cars keys. First the movie, my iPod, then the picture. I couldn't just ignore all the signs anymore, it was getting ridiculous. Next thing you know, Mrs. Urie will be knocking on my door.
I'm going to see Brendon, whether he likes it or not.

***

Somewhere on the ride over here, an angry bubble had been forming in my stomach. I realized being sorry for myself was not helping anything, sitting at home sobbing over Bren wasn't going to help me at all.

I rapped my knuckles against the door to Brendon apartment smartly.
Scuffling on the other side, then the door was swung open.

Relief spread through my body as I caught sight of Brendon. His face lit up first, then fell into lines of worry. He poked his head out of the door and looked down the hall, but no one was there.

Brendon grabbed my hand and pulled me inside, locking the door behind him.
"Lexie." he breathed, engulfing me into a hug.
I frowned, he wasn't getting me that easily. Yes, I had been crying over this boy for the past couple of days, but he cant just expect me to embrace him with open arms.

"Don't 'Lexie' me," I said. He pouted, as if already knowing what I was going to say, what I had rehearsed on the way over here a million times. "Do you think after three days of ignoring me that I'd be all fine and dandy with it?"

"No, and I'm sorry I just." Brendon sighed, rubbing his eyes. "I just don't know what to do."
"Well, for one, stop ignoring me! You cant do everything Kat wants you to do."

"I know, I know." he heaved another sigh. "I don't want to hurt you, but I feel like I'm supposed to listen to her. I did get her pregnant, after all." he ended bitterly, scowling.

I bit my lip. He was being so goddamn adorable, I just cant stay mad at him. I smiled slightly and hugged him. I felt his arms wrap around me instantly, and I buried my face into the crook of his neck.

"I just cant believe this situation. Its not fair, I don't want to have a kid with her. I don't want to be with her for the rest of my life." Brendon whispered in my ear.
"No one said you had too."
Brendon thought about this for a moment. Disregarding my comment and shrugged and brushed a hand across my cheek. "Please don't be mad, Lexie. I couldn't live with myself if I knew you were mad at me."

I have a newfound appreciation for my iPod's song selections. If it wasn't for that getting me all mad, I would never have come here and heard those words leave his mouth.
"What are you going to do?" I asked, biting my lip again.
"For now, I don't know. But I'm going to figure something out. I don't want to just kick Kat out, but I cant stand being away form you. It'll work out, trust me."

A loud buzz broke through our silence, making me jump. Brendon hurried over to the intercom and pressed the TALK button.
"Brenny? Could you let me up, I forgot my keys."

Brendon, wide-eyed, pressed the entry button. "Shit, Kat's back."
He took my hand and towed me back into the hallway.

Confused and hurt, I stubbornly planted my feet. He groaned and tugged at my hand.
"Brendon, you need to talk to her!" I almost whined.
"Lexie, I promise you that she wont separate us. Can you trust me with that, at least? I'll call you as soon as I can. Just please go, I don't want her to get mad at you."

I rolled my eyes and pushed past him, not saying a word. I took the stairs two at a time, racing away from him.
Bursting out into the parking lot, I squinted against the setting sunlight. I made my way back to my car, but stopped midway.

"Matt?" I called, craning my neck around a beat up SUV. My cousin Matt, Izzie's brother, was crouching low in his car. His head snapped when he heard my voice, his face like a deer in the headlights.

I smiled and walked over. Hesitantly, he rolled down his window and forced a smile.
"Hey Matt, what are you doing here?" I asked, a little shocked. Matt lived all the way in Seattle, after all.
"A buddy of mine lives in this building." he mumbled after a moment, avoiding eye contact.
"You should have told me, you could have had dinner with me and Izzie."

"No, no thats okay." he said quickly, shaking his head. "I've got to go anyway. Bye!"

With that he sped off, barely giving me enough time to say anything back.
That was definitely odd, but then again he was always the weird one in the family.
I sighed and looked upwards. I counted the windows until I reached the one I knew must be Brendon's.

There really isn't anything else for me to do. I practically forced him to see me, and this is what I get. Practically kicked out to the curb. Okay, not exactly kicked out, but close enough.
If there's anything I learned from all of this, life sucks, but love sucks even more.