Slow Spinning Redemption

“So…you have staying power?” Bam smirked as Jussi took his seat again, Jussi watching out of the corner of his eye as Isolde walked down the sidewalk, her arms wrapped around herself, wondering just what she’d been talking about while on the phone.

“What?”

“You have staying power?” Bam repeated, though the teasing had lost its heat.

Jussi gave a small smile. “Ha, I guess I do.”

“She seemed to be impressed with you,” Bam said with a smirk.

Jussi chuckled. “Does she?”

Bam nodded, only to smirk at Jussi. “You like her.”

Jussi shrugged. “She’s interesting. We’re both not looking for anything too serious.”

“Which I’m guessing you’re fine with, what with her speaking to another guy in front of you.”

“I knew she was seeing someone else,” Jussi shrugged. “She doesn’t like committed relationships, which is fine. Do you like her better then Soya?” Jussi asked with a raised eyebrow.

“She’s amusing,” Bam laughed. “And I like Soya.” He defended.

“Right,” Jussi said with a roll of his eyes, knowing that Bam didn’t outwardly hate Soya, but something was keeping him from fully accepting her in Ville’s life.

“So are you going to see her again?”

“More than likely tonight,” Jussi admitted. “As much as I want to get to know her, I know I should probably distance myself a bit more.”

Bam shrugged. “What for? If all you guys are doing is having sex, then enjoy it while it’s there. Obviously she travels, and no shit that you travel; fuck while you can.”

Jussi laughed. “Right.”

“Back to businesses?” Bam asked.

“Back to business,” Jussi agreed with a nod, picking up his coffee and taking a sip as he forced Isolde to the back of his mind and nodded at the plans Bam was purposing for the Christmas party. They split a half an hour later, Bam off to gather his things from his hotel and head to Berlin, while Jussi grabbed a cab to his apartment to get some rest.

Jussi scrubbed his face tiredly he leaned against the back wall of the lift and finally brought Isolde back to the front of his mind. She was quickly becoming his addiction and like he told Bam, he knew he should most likely pull away a bit in order to keep their arrangement much more casual than it was obviously getting.

The thing that frustrated him, he thought as he got off the lift and headed towards his door and entered his apartment, was that he was positive that what he felt for Isolde ran a lot deeper than just a causal fuck and was a hell of a lot deeper than what Isolde felt for him.

He groaned as he fell onto his bed, not bothering to change out of his clothes other than taking off his jacket. He’d slept in worse. He kicked off his shoes, letting them fall to the ground before letting his head find the pillow. He found sleep quickly; not wanting to think about the reason why he found it so quickly was the fact that he was still surrounded by Isolde’s scent that was on his skin.

XxxxxxX

He walked into the bar with a mission, and only stopped when friends stopped to greet him. This made him anxiously await a pause in their speech so that he could excuse himself.

He’d received a text after getting out of the shower. ‘Leather’, it had read. ‘I’m thinking leather’. He had a general idea of what Isolde had meant; she either wanted him to wear leather or she was going to be wearing leather. The former had him digging out his leather pants from his suitcase that he had yet to unpack. The latter had him envisioning Isolde’s compact body in a skin tight one piece cat suit, which only served to turn him on.

Finally making it to the bar, he had to swallow harshly at the sight that greeted him. Even with the place being as crowded as it was, he could pinpoint Isolde from where he stood. Her blonde curls were loose and fell to her shoulders in the perpetual ‘fuck me’ look. Her legs were encased in tight leather pants that fit her like a glove. Black heels graced her feet; little black spikes that glinted in the light covered the shoes, making them nearly lethal.

Where the pants ended low on her hips, skin began. He got a good view of the expanse of her back along with the ending of her wings; she wore a short cropped leather jacket that ended right at the start of her waist.

He walked closer to her, reaching out to touch her and trailing his fingers over her back.

“Well hello sailor,” Isolde greeted looking over at him and throwing her curls over her shoulder. “I swear I could feel you staring at me from across the bar and if looks could undress, I’d be standing here naked.”

Jussi laughed, noting the white stick poking out of her mouth as she talked around it. “The back of you looks amazing,” He admitted. “I’m interested to see the front.”

Isolde laughed as she pushed away from the bar to stand straight. Jussi felt himself swallow again; her leather jacket was zipped up only to stop at its center, giving him a good view of her cleavage- and the fact that she wasn’t wearing a bra. He resisted the urge to play with the zipper, instead putting his hand on her hip, his thumb playing with the jewelry on her navel with a raised eyebrow.

“Batman?” He asked, looking at the emblem that settled in her bellybutton.

“I thought it was appropriate.”

Jussi raised an eyebrow, “How so?”

Isolde gasped, and pulled the stick out of her mouth, revealing the red head of her lollipop, using it to point at the top of her head. “I’m Catwoman!”

Jussi chuckled as he noted the ears on top of her head. “I’m sorry! I guess I didn’t catch that.”

“I even have a tail!” Isolde said, putting the lollipop back in her mouth, before showing him the tail that was attached to the back loop of her leather pants.

“I don’t know how I missed it,” Jussi laughed. “And the lollipop?”

“Oh! I just like lollipops,” Isolde said, as she popped the candy back out of her mouth, giving it a lick before winking at him. “Just something about them.”

Jussi laughed as the bartender came up to him, handing him a beer before replacing Isolde’s empty bottle. “So, do we have a plan for tonight?” Jussi asked.

“Well,” Isolde started, pulling the candy out of her mouth slowly before speaking again, “I was thinking we’d get drunk enough for the sex to be sloppy yet still fun, but stay sober enough to remember the condom.”

Jussi chuckled. “That sounds like a good plan. But I was talking about our overall evening, not just the ending.”

“Oh, well then, up to you,” Isolde shrugged. “As long as we end up in a bed at some point, we are good going.”

“We could stay here or do some bar-hopping?” Jussi suggested, though he much preferred the idea of staying in one place.

“Ah, why bar-hop when I can get free drinks here because of you?”

Jussi laughed. “I’m pretty sure with that outfit Isolde, you could get free drinks anywhere.”

“Are you saying I look slutty? Because if you are, I thank you, as that was my goal for tonight,” Isolde teased.

“I’m saying you look like sin, Isolde.”

Isolde grinned over at him. “You’re looking pretty sinful too. Those pants of yours are making me tingly in all the right places.”

“Glad I could please,” Jussi smirked. “So stay here?”

“I think so,” Isolde nodded. “Can we go sit down though? My heels, while very fashionable, tend to kill my feet.”

“Yeah,” Jussi nodded, picking up his bottle and motioning the bartender over. Once he was close to Jussi, Jussi asked him to keep the beer coming and to send over a round of shots to his table. At the man’s nod, Jussi put his hand on Isolde’s bare back and led her through the bar to a secluded table in the corner where they would most likely be alone.

“Ah, thank you,” Isolde smiled as she slid into the booth and tucked the black strip of hair that always seemed to come loose behind her ear again. “You’re late you know; for once I’m actually on time. That’s very odd for me.”

Jussi laughed as he slid in next to her. “Sorry about that- woke up a bit later than I thought I would.”

“You must have been wiped.”

“Just a bit; rough night last night,”

“Mmm, my thighs are still killing me,” Isolde said, taking her lollipop out of her mouth as she took a drag of her beer. “So this place is yours?”

“It just got signed over to me recently,” Jussi nodded, taking a drink of his own beer. “I’ve been coming here for years, and I think they just thought I could keep it running the way it’s meant to. I love it here though.”

“You’ll have fun running it,” Isolde nodded. “So what else do you do?”

“What do you mean?” Jussi asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Do you only play drums and run a bar? I find that extremely disappointing.”

Jussi chuckled. “No, I don’t only play drums and run a bar. I have a radio show on Radio Rock. I’ll be back on that starting the New Year, and I DJ from time to time; though, unfortunately, I tend to be a bore with all the touring, so mostly I just drum.”

Isolde rolled her eyes at his teasing. “That’s not what I meant, and you know it. I just figured with someone that’s been in a band for so long, you’ve got to be dipping your fingers into other things.”

Jussi nodded understanding. “I understand. And yes; when I do have down time from the band, I keep busy.”

“That’s good,” Isolde nodded.

“And I know you don’t just model and take pictures.”

Isolde laughed. “No, I don’t. Well…in a way I do. Ivan, my manager, handles all my clients for either my modeling or my photography. I also have a website where people can contact me, and it does have my portfolio; though, I handle Alisha and Ben directly, as I tend to work for them most of the time… and I’d rather listen to Alisha talk then Ivan.” Isolde laughed.

“But you do more for her right? This morning you were working on typing something.”

“Mmm. I write some of the articles for her magazine; every month she’ll give me a list of topics she wants covered for the magazine in general. I’ll pick a couple I know I can get done for her and write them, sending them to her when they’re done. Then I somewhat run my own business.”

“Which is?” Jussi asked.

“I sell some selected prints online; people tend to like them.”

Jussi smirked. “I would pay good money for pictures of your nudes, too.”

“You’re a jerk!” Isolde laughed pushing at his arm. “No, no; they’re more like nature prints...or candids of random people that I take when I have down time to take them in whatever city I’m in.”

“Then what do you do with pictures that you take at other times, like the candid’s you took at Ville’s?”

“Well most of those will be Ville and Soya’s official engagement pictures.”

“They are engaged aren’t they?” Jussi laughed. “I knew that ring was not Soya’s usual style.”

“Take note of her style do you?” Isolde asked with a smirk.

Jussi laughed. “Soya’s a more old fashioned type of girl when it comes to her jewelry; she changes out her rings nearly daily to match her outfits. Not all that difficult to notice them, especially since she wears them on her ring finger.”

“You’ve noted a lot about Soya.”

“I take interest in the women in my friend’s life, especially if they’re there to stay; Soya’s definitely a keeper for Ville. The ring she’s been wearing is too modern compared to what she usually wears. From what Rose has told me, Soya’s jewelry was all inherited from her grandmother, so it’s all older.”

“No, this ring is newer, shiny; too shiny to be inherited. They’re engaged.” Isolde nodded as she took a drink of her beer, just as one of the bartenders came and dropped off another round along with a tray of shots.

“Thanks,” Jussi said, with a thankful nod before he turned back to Isolde as she smiled at him. “What about the other pictures? The ones you took of Aida and Olivia?”

“Those and any others I took that night, I send to you guys,” Isolde shrugged. “I just like taking pictures where I see them, and you guys would get more enjoyment out of them then I would. Though, when certain ones do stick out to me, I do ask if I can publish them.”

“Did any stick out for you this time around?” Jussi asked, curious if she’d want to publish anything from their get together.

“Some,” Isolde smirked, patting his cheek. “But those are more for personal use then for publishing.”

Jussi burst out laughing before nodding. “Good to know.”

Isolde grinned as she took the lollipop stick out of her mouth, having finished with the candy. She stuck the stick into her empty beer bottle, before taking a shot from the tray. “Na zdraví,” she said in Czech, saluting her glass.

“Kippis,” He nodded, clicking his beer bottle with hers, watching as she downed her shot and sighed happily as she dropped the glass on the tray again.

“So you slept the day away, huh?” asked Isolde.

Jussi shrugged. “It was needed. Days where I can just do nothing are rare, so it’s nice to have one every once in a while. What about you? How was your lunch with your friends?”

“More of a meeting than anything else,” Isolde said, leaning back and sticking her hands in the pockets of her jacket before pulling them out. One hand held another lollipop. “If Ben doesn’t settle deadlines for me, he’ll never get the pictures I took, so we worked out days that they’ll need certain pictures and articles by.”

He watched as she un-wrapped the red wrapper from the candy, throwing the trash onto the tray that was on the table. Her tongue poked out and circled around the candy slowly before sucking the thing into her mouth. Jussi looked away when he saw her smirk and took a long drag on his beer.

“I also spent the day talking to my manager,” she said. “Well, mostly him talking at me.”

“Are you leaving?” Jussi asked with a raised eyebrow, causing Isolde to laugh and pinch his cheek slightly, which only caused him to glare at her.

“Not that I know of. Gonna miss me, Vuori?”

“Parts of you,” Jussi said with a shrug, only getting a raised eyebrow in return.

“He said he’d get back to me tomorrow on when I’m needed back. I guess he’s working on some contracts, so I may be needed back sooner rather than later, but we’ll see,” she shrugged, smiling lightly at him. “Don’t worry, there’s always sexting.”

Jussi chuckled taking a long drag of her beer. “Yes. Yes there is.”

They spent the rest of the early evening making their way through the shots that were on the table, chit-chatting about nothing in particular. And yet, to Jussi, it felt like they talked about everything.

He found out she was an animal lover, but didn’t have pets. “I think it’d be considered animal cruelty if I had a pet,” she’d said with laugh, throwing her blonde curls away from her face. “With my schedule being so all over the place, I’d be leaving them alone so often. But if I were to settle down, I wouldn’t mind a small farm of animals.”

He’d found out the basics through lots of prodding. She couldn’t settle on a favorite color; as to her, they were all pretty in one way or another. She didn’t have a favorite drink, as they were all so yummy, but she did prefer wine after a hard day. She didn’t have a favorite food, either, though she did admit that food in general was her favorite food.

Though when it came to her preferred music, she had no qualms in saying that she enjoyed anything that was softer and slow, much like Florence + the Machine and Ida Maria, as her mind was chaotic enough without having strong or hard music on her iPod. She also had her favorite TV shows, though he could have guessed that by the couple of days he’d spent with her; but she told him anyway in that excited voice of hers that she adored Doctor Who.

All the questions he asked her, she asked in return. He answered her, though he wasn’t sure if she was asking because she was genuinely interested, or because it was polite of her to show interest on a date.

He did note, with amusement and a hint of frustration, that she seemed to have a never-ending stock of cherry lollipops, having sucked on at least four while they’d been sitting at the booth. She’d gotten up to go to the bathroom twice, sans candy, only to return with the white stick poking out of her mouth. And it wasn’t because she loved the candy; she’d licked, sucked and teased the candy with a knowing smirk, which caused him to shift in his seat, holding in his groans.

“I want to play a game,” Isolde announced with a naughty grin.

“What game?” Jussi asked, enjoying the rosy color of her cheeks that seemed to redden as her level of intoxication rose. At this point they had a good buzz going, his mind just the slightest bit hazy, but he attributed that mostly to Isolde’s closeness than anything else.

“Well, it involves nudity.”

Jussi snorted. “Is that you’re subtle way of saying you want to leave?”

“It is, so let’s go,” Isolde said patting his arm and sliding out of the booth. Jussi followed with a shake of his head. They made their way out of the bar, Jussi saying goodbye to some of his friends while keeping Isolde close as they squeezed their way out.

Finally, they made it out into the fresh air. He felt Isolde take a deep breath of the cold air before releasing it slowly and turning to grin at him.

“Can we walk?”

Jussi raised an eyebrow. “Will you be fine walking in those shoes?”

“Will you carry me on your back when I’m not?” Isolde asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Sure,” Jussi chuckled as he started leading her in the direction that would lead them to her hotel. They walked silently; Isolde’s heels clicked on the sidewalk, her hands at her sides. Jussi sighed at himself, resisted the urge to grab her hand by stuffing his own hands in the pockets of his leathers, looking for his carton of cigarettes; he figured if he had a cigarette between his fingers, he’d be less inclined to reach out for her hand.

Patting his pockets and then the pockets of his jacket, he stopped and cursed when he came up empty.

“Everything okay?” Isolde asked, stopping next to him and eyeing him curiously.

“Forgot my cigarettes at home.”

“Do you want to stop at the liquor store? I think there’s one up ahead if I remember correctly.”

“Do you mind?” Jussi asked.

“Not at all,” Isolde said as they started walking the couple of blocks to the liquor store. Isolde leaned up against the light post as Jussi started to go in.

“Do you want anything?” Jussi asked, holding the door open before stepping all the way in.

“Something strong and preferably alcoholic,” Isolde said with a smile, watching Jussi nod and disappear inside. Blowing out a slow breath, she relaxed against the lamppost and tilted her head back, blowing out a puff of breath, smiling wearily as it circled around her for a second before disappearing.

She resisted the urge to scrub her face tiredly. Instead, she shoved her hands in the pockets of her jacket, taking in the way the cold air hit her midriff. The coldness of Helsinki was one of the few things that kept her from delving into the mental box that was currently rattling violently in the back of her head.

She’d been inwardly fighting with herself; reminding herself that she wasn’t in a place that she felt secure to let go. She didn’t have the comfort of her flat to surround her, and she really didn’t want Jussi to see her break down; much too early for him to find out just how fucked up she was.

She closed her eyes and rolled her neck from one side to the other, attempting to relax as she shoved the box that held her conversation with Alex to the back of her mind again, tightening the mental locks to keep it from opening before she wanted it to.

“So I got Vodka and Jäger. I figure if we could just mix shit,” said Jussi, causing Isolde to blink in slight surprise as she looked in his direction.

Isolde gave a small laugh. “That’s fine. I’ve already broken into my mini fridge in my room, so we can use anything in there. Ivan is fronting that bill anyway.”

“You okay?” Jussi asked, shoving the paper bag underneath his arm and trailing his fingers down her cheek. “You look a bit pale.”

“Yeah, fine; just cold,” she said quietly, smiling lightly. She took the bag from underneath his arm and hooked her arm through his. “I think if we walk a bit faster I’ll warm up a bit.”

Jussi nodded, taking her statement as it was, knowing that even if there was more to how she felt the likelihood of her sharing were slim. So he walked by her side, lighting a cigarette and letting the silence surround them. Half-way to the hotel, Isolde’s feet finally gave out on her, so he watched, amused as she slipped her spiked heels off and motioned for him to crouch so she could climb up on his back. With her legs wrapped around him and her arms loosely around his neck, he carried her while she dangled her heels from the fingertips of one hand. The other hand gripped the bag that held their alcohol.

He dropped her onto her feet once they reached the elevator, ignoring the looks of confusion and amusement that the employees of the hotel gave them as they entered the lift.

“So what game did you want to play?” Jussi asked as he leaned against the lift wall as Isolde pressed the button to her floor.

“I’m thinking a round of ‘Ever have I’…’ no wait…” Isolde frowned as she thought about it. “‘Never have I never’…no…” she shook her head and grinned at him. “I’ve Never.”

“I don’t think that game involves nudity, unless the rules have changed since the last time I played.”

“It doesn’t but I figure by the time we get really deep into the game, we’ll find ourselves naked.”

“And hopefully on a bed,” Jussi pointed out.

Isolde snorted as the doors opened. “Please. As if we’d make it to a bed; the floor sounds like a fun place tonight.”

Jussi shook his head as he followed her out. “Rug burn’s a bitch.”

“Ah, but totally worth it if the sex is amazing. Which was proven last night; it is.”

Jussi chuckled, watching as she pulled out her keycard from the pocket of her jacket and slid it into the door. “I think this is the first time I’ve seen you without your camera bag.”

Isolde shrugged as she let him in and dropped her shoes by the door. “I thought about taking at least my camera, but I’ve dropped it while drunk before and I didn’t want to deal with that fear tonight. The less I carry when I plan on drinking, the less I have to worry about.” She said as she emptied her pockets onto the table. He noted that she had one more lollipop on her, along with her ID and credit card.

“Why bother with a credit card if you wanted me to pay?” Jussi teased.

Isolde shrugged. “I always carry it just in case.”

“You don’t take your phone with you?” Jussi asked as she went over to the nightstand by the bed and picked her cell phone up.

“What for?” Isolde asked, looking at her texts before dropping the phone on the bed. “I was planning on meeting you, and if you’d been more than an hour late I would have left, and I wasn’t expecting anyone to call me. Thankfully, I have yet to get totally addicted to technology to be to the point where I can’t live without my phone.”

“I have a feeling you forget it a lot.”

“I do,” Isolde laughed. “More often than not, I forget it in the room I’m staying at; or have it on silent in my bag so I rarely hear it go off. I’m going to grab the cups from the bathroom, you go see if there’s Red Bull in the fridge. And don’t be afraid to grab the little liquor bottles; I’ve already taken two Toblerone’s.”

Jussi nodded in amusement, going over to the couch and setting the bag on the table, before opening the fridge and pulling out a couple of cans of Red Bull. He toed off his shoes as he sat down on the floor in front of the coffee table. Isolde joined him a minute later, sitting on her knees, putting the clear plastic cups on the table.

“So, should I start or do you want to?” Isolde asked watching as he opened the bottle of Jäger with an expert flick of his wrist, pouring it generously into the plastic cups as she popped the cap on the Red Bull.

“You start,” Jussi said as she poured the Red Bull into the cups, finishing off the Jäger Bombs.

“All right,” she said using her finger to stir her drink as Jussi swirled his cup, careful not to spill its contents on the table. “I’ve never…skinny-dipped,” Isolde admitted.

Jussi laughed and took a drink from his cup, as he had been skinny-dipping. “You’ve never been?”

“I’ve accompanied people who have; never found pleasure in getting naked and jumping into freezing cold water though.”

“That’s because you haven’t done it Finnish-style.”

Isolde burst out laughing and took a sip of her drink, not bothering in keeping with the rules of the game. “That is not a convincing argument to get me to go skinny dipping! And as a man you shouldn’t enjoy it either! Doesn’t the cold water shrink your package?”

Jussi snorted. “Just because the cold makes me smaller- and not by much, granted- doesn’t mean I shouldn’t enjoy going for a swim in the nude. That being said, I’ve only gone a few times; and it was back when I was in school, before I joined the band.”

Isolde laughed. “All right then, your turn.”

“Um….I’ve never…had sex in public.”

Isolde raised an eyebrow, but didn’t drink. “Did you say that because you thought I have?”

Jussi shrugged. “I assumed.”

“Hmm,” Isolde hummed, taking a drink of her cup at the same time Jussi did. “I’m a firm believer of sex belonging in the bedroom.”

“Really?” Jussi asked. “You seem like the adventurous type,” Jussi pointed out, leaning back against the sofa.

“Oh I am; lots of hidden kinks,” Isolde laughed. “And really, I’m up for anything; but I have a weird sense of intimacy, and public sex is something you do with someone that you absolutely trust. Just like having a sex tape; you better make that tape with someone that has just as much to lose if it leaks as you do.”

“Even with Richard, who you were with for six years- you had no urges to have public sex?”

“Remember, I said I had an okay sex life with him. Very standard,” Isolde said with a shrug. “My kinky side came out after him. And what about you, Mr. Rockstar? How come you haven’t had public sex? I would think you’d be all over that shit.”

Jussi laughed. “I don’t think I’ve ever been with anyone that I think, ‘fuck, I need to take her right here, right now.’ And again, there’s a level of trust that comes with fucking in public. Should have fucking played this game with Jyrki; you could name a location and chances are he and Rosalind fucked against, on, or around it.”

Isolde laughed before taking another deep drink. “I think I’d like to eventually explore that side of myself, but so far haven’t had the urge.”

Jussi nodded slowly, wondering if he could be the man that could get her to find that urge, as he’s definitely had that ‘fuck her there and now’ feeling with Isolde multiple times. “Your turn.”

“All right. While I’ve always wanted to, I’ve never gone to a sex fest.”

Jussi drank the rest of his drink, before preparing to make another one. “I’ve gone to a few.”

“Lucky. I’ve been wanting to hit up the one in London that happens in November. And then there’s one in Spain that’s gotten talked up a lot that happens in September.”

“I’ve been to the one in Spain once. That one is actually pretty neat. I’ve been to the one in Kangasniemi that happens in July; that one is pretty kick-ass.”

“You’re just biased because it’s in Finland!” Isolde laughed.

“Maybe,” Jussi shrugged with a grin. “We should go.”

Isolde blinked. “What?”

“If you have time in July, we should go. We’ll make it a date.”

“Planning in advance is a big no-no for casual relationships,” Isolde smirked, trying to hide how much the offer scared her.

“Doesn’t hurt anything either,” Jussi shrugged. “You want to go; I’m willing to take you. Then again, nothing is stopping you from saying ‘no.’”

“I’ll think about it. How about that?”

“Good enough,” Jussi shrugged as he took his turn.

They continued playing well into the evening. They completely forgot the rules; drinking and refilling their cups as they talked, admitting what things they’d never done or felt, laughing at most of them, and teasing each other. Even though Isolde admitted to things, Jussi still felt the distance she put up as they talked, knowing that the things she admitted to were meant to make them feel closer, but still keep the distance of being in a causal relationship -as they were- and being in a “real” relationship- which they would never have.

What he didn’t understand was the hurt that crossed her eyes when she admitted something and told the story attached. It would flash briefly in those blue orbs of hers, only for her to shake her head as if ridding herself of the thoughts that were crossing her mind. She’d flash him a smile that was a bit strained around the edges and take a deep drink from her cup, before pointing out that it was his turn.

He also didn’t fully explain the feelings that were starting to bubble up within him when they admitted things, the fact that little admittances were covered up in their own way to keep the tension from creeping in. Much like when they both admitted that, yes, they both felt lonely on the road, those truths were ultimately covered by her mischievous grin and a horrible sex pun, while he covered his own want to settle down with his own smirk and a story of a conquest while on the road.

It was amazing how he noticed that they were doing it, but took no action to correct it. Delving deeper meant being serious, and while they weren’t horribly drunk -as they were at the level that Isolde had wanted (drunk enough to be sloppy while having sex, sober enough to remember the condom) - he knew the minute they started talking about the serious things in their life the, teasing mood of the evening would be ruined, and that wasn’t in Isolde’s plans. Sighing, he took a chug of his drink as Isolde made her next confession.

“I rarely lie.” Isolde admitted.

“Really?” Jussi asked with a raised eyebrow.

“I don’t want to say I never lie, as I used to when I was younger. But I’m really horrible at it, so when I got to high school I found it really pointless to do it; so I just don’t lie.”

“Ever?” he asked, surprised that one could go without lying at all. Even he lied from time to time, and he tried to be as truthful as he could be.

“Ever,” she nodded, though she shrugged as she thought of something. “Admittedly I do stretch the truth a bit and omit details- which technically aren’t lying, if I’m asked about details, I’m truthful about it. But that’s more self-preservation on my part.”

Jussi laughed. “I feel like you’ve done that to me.”

“Possibly,” Isolde grinned.

“So is it just pointless to you or do you just feel guilty?”

“Guilt,” Isolde admitted. “But I tend to have trouble keeping track of the truth, so keeping track of what lie I’ve told to who is about a million times harder for me.” She shrugged as she took a drink. “Either way, telling the truth or telling a lie- it’ll still get you in trouble. But at least with telling the truth, you gain and keep a person’s respect rather than losing it.”

“That’s true. And it’s a good trait to have as a person.”

“It’s why I would be horrible at cheating on people,” she said with a shrug, though he did see a hint of hurt flash through her eyes, before she covered it and took another drink from her cup.

Jussi snorted. “Isn’t what you’re doing now with both me and the other guy considered cheating?”

“Mm.” Isolde shook her head as she swallowed the drink she’d taken. “Not at all,” she answered with a shake of her head.

“How so? You’re sleeping with two people.”

“With whom I am not in a committed relationship with,” she pointed out. “Nor am I hiding the fact that I am, or will sleep with someone else. You know about Alex, and Alex knows about you. How is that cheating?”

Jussi nodded. “I guess it’s not.”

“Damn right it’s not,” Isolde said with a sharp nod. “Cheating has the secretive quality about it. That…illicitness to it. I don’t like it.”

“Have you ever been cheated on?” Jussi asked with a raised eyebrow. There had to be a reason as to why she was so passionate about cheating. The flash of hurt crossed her eyes again, this time staying a minute as she nodded slowly.

“Yeah, I have been cheated on,” she said, her finger circling the rim of her cup with a frown. The hurt disappeared and a sigh escaped her lips. “I can say I would have preferred to have been broken up with instead of finding out years later that I came second to someone else.”

“I highly doubt you came second to anyone, Isolde,” Jussi said absently, bringing his cup to his lips.

“It’s how it feels,” she muttered. There was sharpness in her tone that made Jussi pause and stare at her as she continued to race the rim of her cup. “What about you?” she asked, looking up at him with a raised eyebrow.

“What about me?” Jussi asked looking away from her circling finger to meet the bright blue of her eyes.

“Have you ever been cheated on or cheated?”

“Yes on the first,” Jussi admitted. “And technically no on the second.”

“How is it technically ‘no’?” Isolde asked, abandoning her cup to move closer to him.

“I was the other man, I guess.” Jussi shrugged. “The person that they went to to cheat with.”

“Ah, that position. See, that’s either an awkward position to be in, or a powerful position to be in.”

“Awkward… that’s a good word for it. How can it be powerful though?”

“Well,” Isolde said, sliding her leg over his hips to straddle and face him. “You have the power to either hurt two people- one of which may be innocent in the whole ordeal if you feel wronged- or the power to get what you want and end up with someone you maybe are not meant to be with ultimately. Either way, you hold two people’s lives in your hands; it’s powerful and heady and goes to your head. Powerful,” she murmured.

“Which of those two- hurting two people, or ending up with someone you may not be meant to be with- is the best position to be in?” he asked.

“Neither,” Isolde said softly. “In a perfect world, no one would be in that type of position and everyone would meet their soul mate the minute they were old enough to understand the wonderful gift they’ve been given.”

“Have you met yours?” Jussi asked, running his fingers up and down her bare sides that weren’t covered by her jacket.

“Would I be here if I had?” Isolde teased, brushing her lips over his. “Tell me?”

Jussi smirked, knowing what she wanted to hear. “Why? It’s not that interesting a story,” He admitted.

“Then there shouldn’t be any issues in sharing with the class, Vuori.”

Jussi chuckled as he tilted his head to the side, allowing Isolde’s lips access as they descended. “A friend and his girlfriend had argued; broken up for the millionth time in their relationship.”

“Sounds healthy,” Isolde teased, nipping his collarbone as her fingers started to unbutton his shirt. Her nails lightly trailed down the skin she uncovered.

“It was.” Still was, Jussi thought with an inward roll of his eyes. “Anyway, I was good friends with the girl, and she asked me to go and drink with her as she wanted to drink her sorrows away.”

“And like a good friend you did.”

“Who’s telling the story?” Jussi teased.

Isolde pulled away and grinned at him. “Sorry.”

Jussi motioned for her to continue, causing her to smile as she started working on his neck again. “We went, got drunk, and I listened to her as she bitched about her relationship; how if my friend just fucking committed when he said he was going to, then they wouldn’t be in the situation they were in.”

“So what happened?” she murmured against his Adam’s apple.

“As cliché as it sounds, one thing led to another and we ended up back at her hotel room and had sex.”

“Awkward?”

“Very.” Jussi laughed. “Not the sex; that was pretty fucking decent for us being drunk off our asses. The morning after was awkward though. We woke up hung-over and very much regretting what we had done.”

“Did you tell your friend?” Isolde asked, pulling away from his neck as she started to push his shirt off his shoulders.

“We did,” he nodded, pulling his arms out of his shirt. “That same day. We felt like shit after what had happened.”

“Technically you shouldn’t have though. You said they’d broken up.”

“Still hurts like a motherfucker when you find out your girlfriend, ex or current, slept with your best friend,” Jussi pointed out.

“Well obviously you and Jyrki are amazingly close. How did you guys save your friendship?”

“I never said it was Jyrki,” Jussi said slowly.

“I’m also not an idiot. A bit drunk,” she admitted, leaning down to kiss the center of his chest before pulling away and smiling lightly. “But not an idiot. Omit names all you want, I know you’re talking about Jyrki and his girlfriend. So how did you save your friendship?”

Jussi shrugged. “We talked it out.”

“With your fists?” Isolde asked with a teasing smile.

“Words,” Jussi laughed. “Though I did offer Jyrki a free shot; he refused it.”

“So you guys talked?” Isolde asked.

Jussi nodded. “I mean we had our issues. Rose and I weren’t allowed alone for about a year before Jyrki was fully comfortable with it. Plus he knows Rose and I would never work as a couple. We’d kill each other within the first five minutes.”

Isolde laughed, her fingers running up and down his chest before settling on the button of his leathers. “And what about us?”

“What about us?” Jussi asked, giving into temptation and pulling at the zipper of her jacket.

“Would we kill each other if we spent more than a couple of sex filled nights together?” she asked as he unzipped the jacket all the way and motioning her to take it off.

“I don’t think so,” he murmured, watching the small jacket slipped from her arms, leaving her chest bare for his gaze. His fingers slid up her side and framed the mounds with his hands; his thumbs traced the bottom of her breasts before looking up when Isolde leaned forward to kiss him.

His hands moved to her back, pulling her closer. Their chests pushed together, causing them both to groan at the contact. Somehow the mood had shifted, and that superficial layer he’d been so frustrated about a minute ago, dissolved a bit as the hurt that had been flashing through Isolde’s eyes throughout the night stayed in place. They were going deep, Jussi thought, kissing her shoulder softly. He wondered just how deep Isolde was going to go.

“I found out today that I was cheated on for a very large portion of my relationship,” Isolde whispered against his neck. She wasn’t sure why she was admitting it to the man in front of her. It was most likely the alcohol coursing through her system that was making her loose-lipped. She just hoped to God she would keep the entire story inside, as she really didn’t want to let loose on Jussi.

“It hurts,” she whispered. Her fingers ran down his sides as Jussi held her closer to him. “I’m not sure why it hurts. It shouldn’t hurt.” Her voice was low as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath in and a slow breath out. ‘Don’t cry,’ she thought to herself, ‘You are so much stronger then tears.’

“I won’t think you’re weak if you cry,” she heard Jussi whisper in her ear, as if reading her thoughts. “I don’t think it matters how long ago it was or when you find out’ it’s still the initial shock of finding out,” he whispered. “It’s meant to hurt, Isolde.”

Isolde bit her lip and pulled away from him. “I had my suspicions, you know, after everything had happened. The accident and the shit at the hospital; rumors started circulating in my group of friends about how he had cheated on me and…” she shook her head. “It’s one of those things that without proof, it’s all bullshit.”

Jussi nodded. “And you got proof today.”

Isolde nodded slowly. “It shouldn’t hurt after this long. I didn’t think it would, but it does.” Isolde laid her head on his shoulder and sighed. It hurt for so many more reasons than just finding out that she’d been betrayed. So many more. But instead of speaking of them, she kept silent and breathed against the solid man underneath her. “I don’t want to feel this anymore. Can you make it go away?”

Jussi chuckled softly, tilting his head to kiss her temple. “I’m not some tool you can use, Isolde. My cock doesn’t have magical powers that will make your hurt or troubles go away once we have sex.”

“If only,” she sighed, causing Jussi to laugh beneath her.

“I understand that this is causal between us, and I’m willing to abide by that. I’m willing to have sex with you and have these periods of time where I get to be over you and under you and just for a minute forget the world around me. I’m willing to have these conversations with you Isolde, to listen to you when you hurt, as I hope you would listen to me when I hurt. I’m willing to flirt and fuck and ultimately be a friend. But I refuse to be used when you can’t take the feelings inside of you. I don’t want to be that person.”

“Jussi,” she sighed, causing Jussi to smile lightly at the use of his name and kiss her bare shoulder.

“You’re selfish Isolde.” He felt her tense and ran his hands up and down her back slowly, soothing her back into relaxation. “It’s not a bad thing,” he assured. “You want what you want, and you get it. You wanted me, you got me.”

Isolde snorted. “I wanted the thing that hangs between your legs.”

“Thanks,” Jussi chuckled, knowing she was teasing. “You’re selfish,” he said again. “But it’s a good selfish; I don’t think it’s in you to hurt others, Isolde.”

“You know all this in the 48 hours that we’ve fucked?”

“72 hours that I’ve gotten to talk to you.” He corrected.

Isolde smiled lightly against his shoulder, kissing it lightly. “No, I don’t hurt people. Not intentionally.”

“Using me,” he whispered. “To take your hurt away…that’s a bad selfish, and you know it is. I get nothing out of that other than feeling used, and this early in our….whatever this is.” Jussi said with a roll of his eyes, not wanting to use the word relationship, as he wasn’t sure if it was the right word to use. “I just don’t want that to hang between us.”

“At least not yet.”

Jussi snorted. “I’ve got so many more tricks up my sleeve.”

Isolde laughed against his shoulder, before sighing lightly. “So no sex tonight?”

Jussi laughed. “No sex right now.” He held her closer before sliding his body up to move on top of the couch. Isolde followed him and laid on top of him with a sigh.

“God, I hate cuddling.”

Jussi laughed as he ran his fingers down her spine, making their way underneath her leathers until he had run them to her front between them, unbuttoning the pants much like she had his and pushing them down, grinning slightly when he noted her lack of underwear.

“So which was it tonight?” he asked running his hands over her ass before pushing the pants the rest of the way down, not hearing her make any sound of protest. “Was it for ease of sex or comfort?”

“Well, who in their right mind wears underwear in leather this tight?” Isolde asked, looking up at him with a raised eyebrow as she kicked her pants off the rest of the way, dropping them on the floor before patting Jussi’s hips to lift as she slid his off of him in turn.

Helping her, he used his feet to kick his pants all the way off before hooking his toes to the comforter that lay on the end of the couch.

“There.” He said adjusting his head on the pillow as he pulled the comforter up over their nude bodies. “It’s less like cuddling if we’re naked.”

Isolde snorted against his chest as she closed her eyes. “I actually think it’s more like cuddling.”

“Isolde?”

“Hmm?”

“Shut up.” Jussi smirked, running his fingers up and down her spine, soon feeling her relax and fall limp against him as she fell asleep. Kissing the top of her head, he waited and stared up at the ceiling, trying to keep awake for another twenty minutes so he could make sure she was completely out.

When his eyes struggled to stay open and Isolde had stopped shifting against him, he sat up, carefully holding her against him, sliding off the couch and picking Isolde up before moving them to the bed. As much as he knew Isolde preferred the couch, her body would thank him in the long run if he moved her to the bed.

Laying her down carefully, he fell on the bed himself, letting his arm drop around her to keep her within reach, but kept to his side of the bed as he finally allowed himself to fall asleep.

XxxxxxX

3:55am

Isolde frowned in her sleep as she heard a familiar whooshing sound near her ear, causing her to squeeze her eyes shut before blinking them open and peering towards the nightstand where her phone was ringing and vibrating next to the bed.

“Bed,” she muttered with a groan. “Fucking Vuori.” Rubbing her eyes with her fingers, she lifted herself up only to frown again, as a weight on her waist held her down. Looking over she saw an arm over her; yet when she turned she didn’t see a body spoon next to her. No, Jussi was on the other side of the bed. His face turned away from her as he breathed in sleep, though his arm, his damn arm was, thrown over her waist.

Sighing she reached for her phone and answered. “Hello?” she croaked.

“Isolde?” a very familiar male voice asked.

“Yeah,” she muttered rubbing her head. She wasn’t drunk anymore, that she knew; but the pounding that was happening in her head signified a pretty bad hangover.

“It’s Ivan.”

“Yeah, I got that,” she muttered. “Mind not yelling?”

“I’m not.” Ivan noted.

“Your voice is like grating into my ear,” Isolde moaned.

“Isolde-”

“Indoor voice,” Isolde groaned. “No! Use your church voice.”

Ivan sighed. “Isolde.” His voice much lower than before, causing Isolde to sigh in relief. “I need you back home.”

“Prague?” she asked with a frown.

“That’s what I mean by home. I lined some things for you up, and I need you back here tomorrow. I’ve booked a flight for you and it leaves in two in a half hours, so you need to leave now so you can pick up your ticket and make your flight.”

Isolde groaned. “And I can’t leave in the morning?”

“I need you here bright and early Isolde. I’ll have a cab waiting for you at the airport to bring you to my office, and we’ll talk.”

Isolde rubbed her face tiredly “Ivan-”

“You said you were done with everything that needed to be done in Helsinki. I asked you that this morning.”

“I know,” she sighed.

“And I took that as a sign to go ahead with these plans. You’re the one that likes to keep busy.”

“Yes, yes I know.”

“You haven’t been back in nearly two months.”

Isolde sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose and nodded sharply. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll get going.”

“All right, you know the drill. Text me once you’re in the terminal and once you’ve landed safely. I’ll see you in a few hours.”

Isolde groaned, but spoke her agreement, before hanging up her phone with a sigh. Tossing her hair over her shoulder she looked over at Jussi with a small smile, before carefully moving out of his grasp, not quite ready to wake him.

She wobbled her way to the bathroom, silently closing the door behind her. She turned on the water, twisting it all the way to cold before splashing her face, rubbing in the cold water to wake herself up and feel just a tiniest bit more human.

Twisting off the water, she dried her face and groaned quietly into the towel, as all she wanted to do was sleep for a few more hours. Exiting the bathroom- not bothering with the robe that hung behind the door- she went to her open suitcase, this time blessing Ben for having organizing it, as now it crossed packing off her list of shit to get done.

Pulling out her underwear, she dressed, hooking her bra into place before pulling out a pair of loose blue jeans. She pulled them on before quietly and carefully sitting at the edge of the bed, pulling her suitcase of shoes out from under the bed and flipping it open. Pulling out a pair of black suede lace up ankle heeled booties, she pulled them on, latching them up and testing her balance carefully before moving to the couch and grabbing her leather jacket and pants before spying Jussi’s shirt on the ground.

Biting her lip, she picked it up and pulled it on grinning to herself as she dumped her clothing into her suitcase. She buttoned up Jussi’s shirt as she moved quietly around the room, gathering her shoes and clothing that she’d scattered about, shoving them into her suitcases, before zipping them up and putting them near the door.

Going over to her work table, she packed her messenger bag, putting her laptop in, before gathering her notebooks and papers that were scattered, and lastly her camera. Biting her lip, she looked over at the bed where Jussi still slept and turned on her camera.

Fixing her settings, she walked over to where he was facing a crouched down with a small smile before bringing the camera up and snapping a picture of the sleeping Finn. She brought the camera away from her face and sighed, contemplating waking him up but not finding it in her heart to do so.

“You’re more trouble then you’re probably worth.” She muttered with a light smile before standing back up and moving back to her table, placing her camera in her bag and pulling it over her shoulder.

Grabbing a piece of the hotel stationary, she wrote a quick note. She pressed her lips to the paper, leaving a stain of her lipstick on the page, before placing it on her pillow, hoping Jussi would see it when he woke up. Grabbing her suitcases, she maneuvered them out of the door, grabbing the key card from the table, before casting one last glance at Jussi. Whispering a quiet goodbye, she let the door close and made her way to the elevators, wondering why her stomach churned with nervousness, and why she felt the start of guilt creep up on her conscious.

XxxxxxX

7:45 am

He woke with a groan and rubbed his face with his hand. His other hand gripped instinctively for the warm body that had been at his side the last two nights. Grasping at air, he turned and found the bed empty, the sheets cold and the room quiet. Sitting up he looked around, noting that Isolde’s things were gone. The mess she had on the table was cleared, the clothes that usually scattered the floor were gone, and the shoes that she’d worn the night before that she’d dropped by the door had disappeared.

Looking at the bed once more with a frown, he found a note lying on her side of the bed. Picking it up, he noted Isolde’s lip mark on the paper and her neat scrawl filling the page.

Vuori,

Got called away for work again, and had to catch a plane at the ass crack of dawn. Oddly enough, I couldn’t wake you up. Not that I tried; I mean I just couldn’t find it in me to wake you. I don’t know when I’ll hit up Helsinki again, but I’ll let you know when I’m back in your neck of the woods. Thanks for the wonderful weekend, I very much enjoyed myself. Room is paid for and taken care of, so don’t bother with the front desk.

-Isolde

P.s. thanks for the shirt!

Jussi frowned. Not at the note, as it very much had Isolde’s quirk and casualness to it. While he might have wanted her to wake him, and even asked him to take her to the airport, he knew after her confessions the night before that Isolde separating herself in the manner she had was expected. Really, he was amused more than he was upset. But what the hell did she mean about the shirt?

Getting up, he went over to the couch where his clothes were left, pulling on his pants and searching the ground for the button down shirt, only for Isolde’s note to come back at him.

“That woman stole my shirt!” He groused with a shake of his head as he grabbed his coat and pulled it over himself. “What is it with women and stealing shirts?” he asked himself.

Rosalind was constantly taking Jyrki’s shirts, though Jussi knew she’d also raided his own closet a few times and had stolen a couple of his, as his favorite Texas Terri shirt had gone missing about the same time as one of her raids on his closet. He knew for a fact that Soya constantly stole Ville’s shirts, and Ville always bitched about finding one of his many band t-shirts in Soya’s drawers, or shrunken down so that they wouldn’t fit him anymore. And now Isolde had stolen his shirt.

“Wonderful,” he muttered with a sigh, making a mental note to himself to ask about it when he talked to Isolde next. He pulled on his shoes and made sure he had everything. His wallet was in his pants pocket. His keys….were at the bar where he’d left them the night before. His phone sat on the table, which he picked up and stuffed in the pocket of his coat.

Making sure nothing had been left in the room, he stuffed the note Isolde had left him in his pocket as well before leaving the room all together and letting the door shut behind him.

Feeling like he was doing a ‘walk of shame’ as he walked out of the lobby, he hit the sidewalk and took a breath of air, making the slight hangover he felt from the night before clear just a bit before he started walking towards Bäkkäri, where he had left his car the night before.

As much as he wanted to believe that last night’s confessions -from both himself and Isolde- were a step forward in possibly thinking of a more serious relationship, he knew by Isolde’s disappearing act that morning that there was no way a relationship would be considered.

He frowned at himself. When the hell did he even start wanting a relationship? He’d told Isolde that he wasn’t looking for anything serious, that the only commitment he was capable of at the moment was the commitment to the band and to his drums. He couldn’t see himself settling down, even if it meant he could continue traveling. He couldn’t see himself committing himself wholly to a woman, even a woman as enticing as Isolde.

But fuck if he wasn’t a bit hurt that he didn’t get a proper goodbye. The temptation to call her was nearly killing him, and they’d only parted, what he could only assume was a few hours ago! Sighing and giving up trying to sort out his feelings for the quirky blonde, he walked into the bar.

He greeted the young man behind the bar as he reached behind the counter and fished for his keys, only to frown when his fingers gripped at something else. Pulling up, he looked at what he’d nabbed and frowned even deeper at the lollipop he held.

“When did we start carrying these?” Jussi muttered.

“We haven’t.”

Jussi looked up at the man and raised an eyebrow. “Why are they behind the counter?”

“The blonde you were with.”

“What about her?”

“She came early and asked me last night to hold them back here for her.”

“She did?” Jussi asked, remembering that all throughout the night Isolde had had a never ending stash of lollipops in her mouth.

“Yes, she said she only had so much pocket space and asked if I could keep them back here.” He pulled a bowl out from the counter and showed Jussi the bowl full of lollipops, along with his keys. “She kept coming up throughout the night taking them.”

“Yeah, I noticed that she had one all through the night.” Jussi muttered taking his keys out of the bowl.

“You want me to toss them?”

Jussi blinked and shook his head, and before he even realized what he was doing he was taking the bowl into his hands. “No, don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it.” He said his goodbyes and made his way back out, unlocking his car and sliding in, putting the bowl in the seat next to him with a shake of his head.

Amused, he wondered how Isolde would feel if he sent her the tons of lollipops she’d left behind in the mail. Probably just as amused, he thought as he pulled away from the curb and started on his way home.