A Smile So Genuine

"And now on E!, we will take a look into the life of one of the most iconic young actresses, Charlotte Madison, better known as Charlie. Beauty, brains, and talent, Charlie was on her way to the top from the beginning. Starting as a child actress in numerous television shows, her big break came when she starred next to Tom Hanks as his lovable, wise daughter who had just lost her mother. This role, earning her countless awards including an Academy Award nomination for best supporting actress, sky-rocketed Charlie to instant stardom. Unlike most child actors, she continued getting roles, showing off her pure talent as a actress, as well as a singer. Charlie released her first album shortly after she turned 17, receiving extraordinary praise for her country-sounding voice, as well as a few Grammy awards. It had been rumored she is writing her sophomore album, expected to come out in the following year..."

I snapped my head up to the sound of my voice singing live at some stadium in Texas. I stretched my arms, and rubbed my eyes, slightly irritated that the TV woke me up from the first nap in weeks. I glanced over at the screen, watching myself strum a guitar and smiling up at the crowd, winking as the lyrics poured from my lips. I sighed and began thinking of all the things I could have done differently. What could have been better. I have a habit of doing this, yelling at myself to sing better, time my lines perfectly, sit up straight in my interviews. I'm my own worst enemy, what can I say?

No one had anything bad to say about me usually. The fashionistas praised me for my style choices, on the red carpet and in everyday life. The critics never gave one of my performances a bad critique, usually quoting me as "breathtaking" or "astounding".

But to myself, I wasn't any of that. I never focused on my looks or how I dressed. I never focused on the enormous following I had in my fan base. I never focused on the critiques admiring words.I focused on my passion for acting and singing. I put everything I had into these aspirations, working myself to the bone. But to me, it wasn't a job. It was how I felt alive. I made me feel like something was right in the world, like this was what I'm suppose to be doing.

I grabbed the clicker and turned the TV off, enjoying the silence that enveloped the room. I was placed in a dressing room, waiting patiently for the crew to set up my photo shoot scheduled for today. My entourage must of left when I fell asleep. No doubt Henson, my security guard, was waiting outside to make sure no one stepped inside without permission. My overbearing manager made sure of that. My eyes flickered to the blue book on my lap, a dark book mark sticking out of it. A beautiful grey and white bird, with its wings outstretched, covered the book, the title written bold in white. Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins.

A deep feeling turned in my stomach. I had read the Hunger Games trilogy three times, taking up much of the sparse spare time I had in my life. I tried out for the second movie, Catching Fire, a long and tedious process that took three weeks. I was still waiting for the call that said I got the part. God, I wanted that part so bad, I dreamt about it. I was never sure, though. Never sure if the producers liked my performance.

There was a light knock at the door and my manager, Lisa, stepped in with a clipboard glued to her hands. "Charlie, everything's all set up. You ready?" Lisa raised an eyebrow and tapped her foot impatiently. I pushed out my thoughts and got up from the couch, following my manager out the door. I didn't want to do the photo shoot. It was last minute and they paid very well, not that I cared, but her manager certainly did. I smiled up at my body guard as he closed the door behind me. "Henson, could you watch my phone? If anyone calls, just let it go to voice mail." Henson nodded, smiling down at me. Holding the phone use to be Kelly's job, my assistant, but she lost it once and risked all of my phone book numbers being leaked to the public. Thankfully, Lisa shut down the phone before anything could happen. I had to practically beg Lisa to not fire Kelly. She was the closest thing I had to a friend.

Sometimes I felt like a puppet, doing interviews, photo shoots, and talk shows because my manager told her too. Like I had a choice anyways. The only thing I had control of was my songs and my movie roles. That's why I kept them so close to me. My photo shoot went by pretty quickly, and the photographer praised me for giving him inspiration and motivation for this photo shoot, whatever that meant. I smiled graciously and practically ran to Henson. Today was suppose to be the day. After weeks of waiting. Henson handed me the phone instantly, waiting impatiently for me to listen to my voice mails. Henson had been my body guard since I was just starting out. He was like a brother to me, family. Two missed calls, one from my sister and one from the studio. Henson knew I was waiting for a long time to hear that voice mail. He knew how much it meant. I was shaking, my thought were clouded. Please just let me get the part. I could be great. I could bring a new light to the role! God, I wanted it so bad, I'm begging an imaginary person. Then I heard it. Excited and loud in my ear, the producer's happy tone. I felt chills role up my spine and my stomach do a flip. "Henson..." I whispered soft as I pulled the phone away from my ear, "I got the part. I'm gonna be Johanna Mason in the next Hunger Games movie."