A Smile So Genuine

Kelly found me tucked away in the corner of my music room, arms wrapped around my body, curled into a ball. I was shaking still, but the tears stopped a half an hour ago. I never made it to the studio.

It was pain at first that covered every inch of my body, concentrating itself in my heart while I caught my breath between rib-shaking sobs. It was pain at first, but now I was just numb. It was like my world had just crashed down and now I was left lying in the shatter bits. His voice kept echoing in my head. “Please don’t go. Please.”

Kelly was holding me in her small arms, rubbing the sides of shoulders. She already knew what happened to me, but she didn’t know what to say. So she stayed silent.
We sat like that for a while, the room growing quieter with each passing minute until Lisa walked in, her heels clicking against the wood floor.

This was the first time I moved in three hours. I shifted out of Kelly’s arms and looked straight up at Lisa, her face filled with concern.

“I want to leave. Get me away from this place.” My voice was quiet, but full of pain. Lisa winced and kneeled down to be level with me, taking my hand in hers. “But the album Charlie.”

“I don’t care. I’ll write and record it somewhere else. Get me away.” I was more demanding now, but my voice still shaked a bit. Lisa nodded her head and swiftly walked out of the room, pulling out her cell phone.

I curled back into my ball. I didn’t feel like talking anymore. I just wanted to close my eyes and fall into a dream that didn’t have him in it.

I woke up a few hours later, my body shivering from the cold air that touched my skin. I knew I was running away. I knew I didn’t want to face any of the aftermath that would come of this. The cameras, the interviews, the magazines, the TV shows; they all were going to cover the breakup in a different sadistic way, designed to make the images of that fight push to my consciousness. Then, they could get a story out of me. They would all fight and beg Lisa with large sums of money and gifts to get just one interview with me, but I would refuse. I would just slip away from it all before they could get to me.

I heard the distinct buzz against the wood floor and looked down to examine my phone. A sudden wave of emotion ripped through my body, causing the hair on my arms to stand on end. Before I could even begin to comprehend the name plastered on the front screen of my phone, I ripped it from the floor and threw it against the wall, the phone shattering into bits.
The sound echoed through my house as I stared blankly at the spot on my wall where the phone was just destroyed. I heard Kelly stumble through the door, followed by Henson. Both sucked in a breath at the sight of the pile of metal parts on the floor.

Lisa stood at the doorframe, shaking her head at me. I glared up at her, pulling my eyes away from the glitter of my broken iPhone screen.

“Before we go, I need a new phone.” My voice was quiet, but this time it did not quiver one bit. Lisa looked me up and down, scanning my face for some glint of humor, but there was none.

She slowly pursed her lips and pulled out a wallet from my bag that was thrown on the floor near her feet. Her eyes never left my face as I stared emotionlessly back at her.

I didn’t know why he called me. I didn’t know what he could possible say to me that could make anything better. Nothing. There was nothing he could say that would change anything. Even if I picked up that phone call and listened to that familiar voice filling my ears with his regret, I would still be broken. I’d still feel completely destroyed from the inside out.

Lisa sighed inwardly and stared at the ground, closing her eyes for a moment to absorb what just occurred and how she could fix it. I had never seen her think before. It always seemed like she had everything planned out, like she expected certain things to go wrong or astray and always knew how to handle it. Now her forehead was creased in frustration, obviously disturbed by the mess she had to deal with. Apparently, she never expected me to go into a complete mental breakdown. She snapped her head back up and pull herself together into the normal Lisa I was use to.

“Henson, go buy Charlie a new phone. Have her contacts and information restored. Kelly, go back to her room and continue packing her suitcases. Charlie, I talked to your producer and some record label reps. You’re going to London.”