Status: Active
A Smile So Genuine
Good to see you again.
I’m not sure how many songs I wrote, the number of times I cried, or how many moments I spent begging with myself not to call him, but the month was up and I was back in L.A. I felt like my old self, but somehow different at the same time. Maybe because I finally understood that life went on without him and my world still turned around, but it wasn’t half as good without Josh in my life.
I was looking in my closet to decide what to wear to my meeting that day, the day I would get to see him. All this time, I had been wearing yoga pants, tee shirts, and sweat shirts. I thought it was about time I made myself look presentable, like the old Charlie, but now more improved. Stronger, if I say so myself.
I picked out a light orange floral dress that was pinched in a little in the middle to show off my small waist. I threw my long hair in a braid, put on gold bangles and brown, leather sandals with heels. Like previous meetings, I was showing up by myself without Henson, Kelly, or Lisa. They were a little skeptical about it, but I insisted. I wanted to do this thing by myself.
I managed to escape most of the backlash from Josh and I breaking up, but nothing is ever let go in Hollywood. As soon as I got back to L.A., people were already asking Lisa for interviews and television appearances in order to get the full story. I only agreed to one interview so far, on the Marie Claire show. She’s usually pretty gentle with her guests, at least I hope so.
I can’t say I wasn’t nervous to see Josh. I wanted to be with him, if he let me. Not right away of course, since I felt like it was something we needed to ease into, considering we had just broken up about 2 months earlier. There was this moment in London when I was up against my window, guitar in hand, and I was writing a song. I read over the lyrics in my head and realized I had been writing about Josh the entire time without even meaning to. When you subconsciously write how you feel about a guy, you know that you must love them a whole lot. And I wasn’t about to let that feeling go. I knew Josh and I were strong enough to get past his mistake. I knew we would be back together.
I pulled up to the studio in my Audi, with my aviators covering my bright green eyes. I was quick to get out of my car, nervous about seeing Josh for the first time in a month. I had planned how this meeting would go a million times in my head, but I knew it would never happen like I imagined.
I pushed past the studio door, walking into the room, my heels clicking against the floor. It was almost like déjà vu. Everyone’s eyes were on mine, smiling and whispering, a few people waving me over to come talk to them. I was frozen in place for a second, a wave of uncertainty collecting over my body. I didn’t really know where to go, that is until I saw him hidden in a corner, smiling up at me from under his baseball cap.
My body gravitated towards him, slowly moving through the crowd of my peers. He shifted his body, smiling even brighter, with his arms stretched open. As soon as I got to him, I wrapped my arms around his neck as he pulled my body closer to his. His hands rubbed up and down the small of my back, and I inhaled his familiar scent, something I had missed so much.
“You smell just like I remember you do.”
Josh chuckled against my skin, remembering the time he surprised me during his break from his movie. He gripped me tighter and sighed, pressing his lips against my shoulder.
“I missed you Charlie. I thought you weren’t going to come back to me.”
I pulled out of his hug and pressed my hands against his chest, feeling his heart thump loudly against my fingertips. This was so much better than what I imagined in my head.
“Of course I was going to! I just needed to get you away so I could write my album. Otherwise, you would have distracted me.”
He chuckled, smiling mischievously down at me.
“Distracted you, huh? In what way could I have done that?”
I blushed, thoughts of him and I naked together in bed. I hadn’t thought about it much during that last month because I was so wrapped up in my music. But with Josh standing in front of me, his tee shirt tight against his abdomen showing those muscles he needed in order to be Peeta, it took everything I had to push those thoughts out of my mind.
I looked around the room quickly, and realized a lot of people were looking over at Josh and I, whispering to their neighbors. I got nervous and dropped my hands from his chest. Josh laughed and grabbed my hands, placing them back were they fell.
“Who cares what they say? I mean, if I was an onlooker, I’d be confused too. We did just have a brutal fall out two months ago.”
I smiled and nodded, pulling the fabric of Josh’s shirt between my fingers, like I use to do. It was so nice having him there again to remind me not to care what other people thought. That was always my downfall.
“So how’s that album coming along? I hope there are some horrible songs in there about how much you hate me.”
I laughed, smacking Josh against the chest.
“It’s pretty good. I’m actually kind of proud of myself; I didn’t hold back in this album. So yes, there may be a few songs that might hurt your feelings a bit. But they’re some that are really beautiful, if I say so myself.”
He nodded, taking my hands off his chest and holding them in his own.
“You were always good at putting your emotions in a song. When’s the next time you’re on stage?”
“Tomorrow. I’m going on the Marie Claire show to sing my song for Catching Fire and to do an interview.”
He raised his eyebrows, a small crease forming in his forehead.
“An interview? Do you think she’s going to ask about us?”
“Without a doubt in my mind. I’m preparing though, so don’t worry. Lisa has schooled me on what to say in order to make she you don’t look like an ass.”
I smiled, reaching my hand up to rub his chin. It was a little rough, and I could tell he hadn’t shaved in a bit. I wondered instantly how it would feel with my lips pressed upon it.
“All right everyone! Meeting is starting!”
Josh and I both moved from our spots to the long table set up for the entire cast. We sat beside each other, with Josh’s manager near him on his right.
“So Charlie, since we’re not together again yet, I was wondering if you’d like to go on a date with me.”
I smiled, looking at Josh curiously.
“A date? To where?”
He chuckled, leaning in closer to me.
“It’s a surprise. You free Wednesday?”
I laughed, nodded my head slightly. I felt him grab my hand underneath the table, pulling it onto his leg.
“Good! It’s a date.”
I was looking in my closet to decide what to wear to my meeting that day, the day I would get to see him. All this time, I had been wearing yoga pants, tee shirts, and sweat shirts. I thought it was about time I made myself look presentable, like the old Charlie, but now more improved. Stronger, if I say so myself.
I picked out a light orange floral dress that was pinched in a little in the middle to show off my small waist. I threw my long hair in a braid, put on gold bangles and brown, leather sandals with heels. Like previous meetings, I was showing up by myself without Henson, Kelly, or Lisa. They were a little skeptical about it, but I insisted. I wanted to do this thing by myself.
I managed to escape most of the backlash from Josh and I breaking up, but nothing is ever let go in Hollywood. As soon as I got back to L.A., people were already asking Lisa for interviews and television appearances in order to get the full story. I only agreed to one interview so far, on the Marie Claire show. She’s usually pretty gentle with her guests, at least I hope so.
I can’t say I wasn’t nervous to see Josh. I wanted to be with him, if he let me. Not right away of course, since I felt like it was something we needed to ease into, considering we had just broken up about 2 months earlier. There was this moment in London when I was up against my window, guitar in hand, and I was writing a song. I read over the lyrics in my head and realized I had been writing about Josh the entire time without even meaning to. When you subconsciously write how you feel about a guy, you know that you must love them a whole lot. And I wasn’t about to let that feeling go. I knew Josh and I were strong enough to get past his mistake. I knew we would be back together.
I pulled up to the studio in my Audi, with my aviators covering my bright green eyes. I was quick to get out of my car, nervous about seeing Josh for the first time in a month. I had planned how this meeting would go a million times in my head, but I knew it would never happen like I imagined.
I pushed past the studio door, walking into the room, my heels clicking against the floor. It was almost like déjà vu. Everyone’s eyes were on mine, smiling and whispering, a few people waving me over to come talk to them. I was frozen in place for a second, a wave of uncertainty collecting over my body. I didn’t really know where to go, that is until I saw him hidden in a corner, smiling up at me from under his baseball cap.
My body gravitated towards him, slowly moving through the crowd of my peers. He shifted his body, smiling even brighter, with his arms stretched open. As soon as I got to him, I wrapped my arms around his neck as he pulled my body closer to his. His hands rubbed up and down the small of my back, and I inhaled his familiar scent, something I had missed so much.
“You smell just like I remember you do.”
Josh chuckled against my skin, remembering the time he surprised me during his break from his movie. He gripped me tighter and sighed, pressing his lips against my shoulder.
“I missed you Charlie. I thought you weren’t going to come back to me.”
I pulled out of his hug and pressed my hands against his chest, feeling his heart thump loudly against my fingertips. This was so much better than what I imagined in my head.
“Of course I was going to! I just needed to get you away so I could write my album. Otherwise, you would have distracted me.”
He chuckled, smiling mischievously down at me.
“Distracted you, huh? In what way could I have done that?”
I blushed, thoughts of him and I naked together in bed. I hadn’t thought about it much during that last month because I was so wrapped up in my music. But with Josh standing in front of me, his tee shirt tight against his abdomen showing those muscles he needed in order to be Peeta, it took everything I had to push those thoughts out of my mind.
I looked around the room quickly, and realized a lot of people were looking over at Josh and I, whispering to their neighbors. I got nervous and dropped my hands from his chest. Josh laughed and grabbed my hands, placing them back were they fell.
“Who cares what they say? I mean, if I was an onlooker, I’d be confused too. We did just have a brutal fall out two months ago.”
I smiled and nodded, pulling the fabric of Josh’s shirt between my fingers, like I use to do. It was so nice having him there again to remind me not to care what other people thought. That was always my downfall.
“So how’s that album coming along? I hope there are some horrible songs in there about how much you hate me.”
I laughed, smacking Josh against the chest.
“It’s pretty good. I’m actually kind of proud of myself; I didn’t hold back in this album. So yes, there may be a few songs that might hurt your feelings a bit. But they’re some that are really beautiful, if I say so myself.”
He nodded, taking my hands off his chest and holding them in his own.
“You were always good at putting your emotions in a song. When’s the next time you’re on stage?”
“Tomorrow. I’m going on the Marie Claire show to sing my song for Catching Fire and to do an interview.”
He raised his eyebrows, a small crease forming in his forehead.
“An interview? Do you think she’s going to ask about us?”
“Without a doubt in my mind. I’m preparing though, so don’t worry. Lisa has schooled me on what to say in order to make she you don’t look like an ass.”
I smiled, reaching my hand up to rub his chin. It was a little rough, and I could tell he hadn’t shaved in a bit. I wondered instantly how it would feel with my lips pressed upon it.
“All right everyone! Meeting is starting!”
Josh and I both moved from our spots to the long table set up for the entire cast. We sat beside each other, with Josh’s manager near him on his right.
“So Charlie, since we’re not together again yet, I was wondering if you’d like to go on a date with me.”
I smiled, looking at Josh curiously.
“A date? To where?”
He chuckled, leaning in closer to me.
“It’s a surprise. You free Wednesday?”
I laughed, nodded my head slightly. I felt him grab my hand underneath the table, pulling it onto his leg.
“Good! It’s a date.”