A Smile So Genuine

“You nervous?”
“More like petrified.”
I pressed the phone closer to my ear as Nick, my makeup artist, did the finishing touches on my face.
“What if I fall or something? Or worst, forget the words to the song.”
Josh’s deep chuckle filled my ear, causing me to smile a bit at the noise.
“You are going to be great! We’re all cheering you on over here. Jen says hi. She practically tackled me to the floor to get the phone, but I know how much you don’t want to talk to her.”
I laughed, shaking my head at my friends.
“You know that’s not true! Tell her hi and that I miss her. God, I’m going on in five minutes. I’m serious, what if she asks me something super personal about us. I’m going to freeze up, I know it.”
Lisa gave me the signal to hang up and I nodded quickly, hoping to get one more sentence out of Josh.
“Charlie. Never once have you looked bad in an interview. Don’t be so scared! No matter what you do or say, you can still come home to me.”
“Even if I completely screw up and everyone hates me?”
“Yes, even then.”
I smiled to myself, pushing myself off my chair. I started following Lisa down the hall, minutes from the interview.
“Ok. Well you’ll see me in a bit on screen I guess. Talk to you after it all?”
“Of course. Break a leg! Not literally. That would be awful. Ok ok, I love you. Good luck!”
I chuckled and handled the phone back to Lisa. We might not be together, but he still gave me those weird butterflies in my stomach every time I talked to him.
The show manager was counting now the seconds till I went on. Nick checked me over once more, making sure every piece of hair was in its right place. Lisa was babbling in my ear, reminding me of all the things I needed to say and do. I was barely paying attention; my mind was focused on what exactly Marie would ask me. It could be anything really, anything she wanted to embarrass me with.
The manager signaled to me and suddenly I was walking on stage, smiling at the crowd as they screamed my name. I waved and blew kisses, turning my attention to Marie. She hugged me quick and signed for me to sit.
“Charlie Madison, how are you? I think this is the first time we’ve had you on the show.”
“Yes, I believe it is. I’m so happy to be here; this is the first interview I’ve done in a while.”
“You were in London, right? No British accent?”
“Oh god no. I’m absolutely horrible at accents.”
I laughed at myself, shaking my head at Marie.
“It’s ok, most people are. So what was it like being in London? Were you writing your new album?”
“Yeah, I think I needed a change of scenery for this one. It was brilliant in London, such a beautiful city. Everywhere you turned; there are these cute little cafes that had the most amazing tea and little cakes. I think that might have been my favorite part.”
Marie laughed, reaching out to touch my arm.
“If that’s your favorite part, you need to be around more culture.”
I laughed, smiling up at the host. It was all a game, pretending to be funny and adorable. I was good at this game, I always had been.
“So would you say this album is different then you’re previous one?”
“Definitely. I put a lot of emotions and a lot of myself into my sophomore album. I feel like people are going to learn a lot about my life and the experiences I’ve gone through. It’s a little nerve-racking actually.”
“Speaking of emotions, I’m sure you’ve written about a lot of the relationships you have had recently. Maybe some songs about a certain District 12 tribute?”
The audience laughed along with Maria and she smiled at me, encouraging me to talk about Josh. Well it wasn’t going to be that easy.
“I mean I wrote about a lot of relationships I’ve had throughout my life. I tried to really get out the emotions that are inside of all of us when involved in a relationship and put them in a song.”
“But that break up with Josh must have been really rough on you.”
She was not giving up on this. Usually interviewers are less direct, but I guess since she’s the first one interviewing me since the fight she wants to get all the information before anyone else.
“We were really close. I mean all relationships have fights and arguments, some bigger than others. Sometimes the media sees that and blows it out of proportion.”
“So it was just a fight? You two didn’t break up?”
Shit. I threw myself in a hole with that one. I was mentally slapping myself across the head for letting her twist my words into something I never said.
“We’re still really close friends. We begin filming the next Hunger Games soon, so it’s nice to have people around that your close with. We all became such great friends when filming Catching Fire, me, Jen, Josh, and Liam. Of course everyone gets close on a set like Catching Fire. It was just bound to happen. I’m actually really excited to get to see everyone again for the promotion of the film.”
I got her back on track. There was no way she could bring it back to Josh after I had just blatantly mentioned the film she was supposed to ask me about. I wasn’t about to have another incident like Emily Jones’s show.
“Yes, you must be excited. The film is right around the corner!”
I smiled at her, knowing I had just completely ruined her scheme to get me to talk.
“I’m nervous! Johanna Mason was a part I wanted before the first film even came out. I read the books and knew that I was going to audition for her. I gathered sort of an obsession with the part. It’s scary though when you have to portray someone that everyone already has an image of in their minds. I just hope I live up to their expectations.”
“I’m positive you will Charlie. And when we come back, we get to hear Charlie Madison’s new song for the soundtrack of Catching Fire!”
Marie turned to me and talked some nonsense about the movie. They always did this, interviewers. As soon as the tape cut, I was pulled away by Lisa to get me in position to play my song. The only people that had heard this so far was the music producers of course, a few people at Lionsgate, and Kelly. I hoped Josh was still watching at home with the rest of them.
The guitar was placed in my hands, the microphone was in front of my face, the lights shone down at me. I watched the red light as it blinked: one for a warning, twice for places, and then three times for record.
I heard Marie announce my name, and then the band behind me begin to play their parts.
I was really nervous for some reason. This song took so long for me to write and it was written half way through my break down. It was my first song I performed on live television in a couple years.
My lips began moving as words vibrated out of my mouth. I could hear my voice in my ear, replaying the lyrics into my mind. As soon as it started, it was over. The audience cheered and I smiled at them, a little shaky from the sudden adrenaline rush the surged through my veins. I can’t believe they actually like it.
As soon as I walked off stage, Lisa handed me the phone.
“You were so great Charlie! Seriously, everyone here is praising you. Listen!”
I could hear my friends screaming my name, making a smile form on my lips.
“You have to come here! Please?”
I chuckled, walking into my dressing room. Sometimes it’s hard having the time to go out with my friends. It usually had to be pre-planned or something with Lisa’s approval. Of course, me and Josh always use to break that rule. I was just nervous to spend time with him again. I mean, I had only seen him the day before. Would it be like it used to be? Or would it be more awkward, and less fun? I figured I had to find out eventually.
“OK fine. I’ll be there in a bit.”