Fuel to the Fire

One week. I felt like shit. I really did. Garrett didn’t call or texted me anymore. Not that I care. I rolled my eyes; who am I trying to fool?
Pat tried to find out what happened, same as Lauren, the girls AND the guys, but I didn’t say anything. Whenever someone mentioned Garrett, I acted indifferent. Inside, I was dying. Just because I missed him – so much – it didn’t mean that I was gonna run back to him.
“Amanda Leigh Kirch” Lauren waved her hand in front of my face.
“What?” I snapped.
“You’re doing that again.”
I rolled my eyes. I said that every time I thought of Garrett, I would smack my own face. Actually, I had mentally killed myself a hundred times.
I looked up at the sound of laughter and the boys suddenly stopped. I felt their eyes on me and on Garrett, who was probably surprised for seeing me there. I acted indifferent, just like everytime. My mom and Lauren exchanged a look. I huffed mentally; come on, I’m not that fragile.
“I guess…” Kenny started, breaking the silence.
“Yeah” they all muttered together. Garrett was the last one to leave, looking down. I stared at my hands on the table.
“Cry Leigh” I looked up, confused.
“You’ve been holding a lot lately” Lauren said.
“I’m not a silly little girl. I don’t cry over boys” I frowned.
“I remember you crying over Jamie in your junior year” she muttered.
“Correction: I don’t cry over him” I pointed to the band room, where the boys were practicing.
“Stop acting like a child, you’ll talk to Garrett after practice” My mom squeezed my shoulder gently.
“No, I won’t.”
“Yes, you will.”
“No, not after what he did.”
“But what did he do?” Lauren asked.
“I’ve said I don’t wanna talk about it!” I yelled.
Temper? I had it. But it was hard for me to explode like that. Lauren looked at me through wide eyes. My mom tried to say something, but I marched off the room before she could start ranting. I bumped into John on my way to my room.
“Wh-“
“Leave me alone.”
“Pms” Jared said, as I ran back to my room.
“No, Garrett-s” John said.
“What?” Pat asked confused.
“I tried to make a joke. Apparently, no one understood.”
I smiled a little.

After I calmed down, I went apologizing. I yelled at Lauren for no reason, right? But I froze when I saw Garrett. He stopped laughing and looked down. Stop doing that, you fucking idiot! My mom, Pat and Lauren looked at me.
“I’m sorry?” I tried silently.
“No problem, babe” Lauren smiled kindly. Gare looked at her. I bit my lip. The room was so silently… awkward.
“I guess…” I trailed off.
“No, the problem here is me. I’ll..”
I didn’t listen to Garrett. He wasn’t really talking to me, but it was the first contact we had in a week. I turned around, walking back to my room.
“Stop moron, she’ll be back soon” I heard Lauren say. I sighed, hating myself. I walked back to the kitchen and sat next to my mom. I crossed my legs and looked at my feet. Someone kicked me; I glared at Pat. He wanted to say something about Garrett, that was obvious, but guess what? I didn’t care! Him and Gare exchanged a quick look. Garrett nodded lightly.

Sooner than I thought, John and Jared were back. They smiled at me before heading back to the band room. Kenny was with Gabi; anniversary. Lauren went back to her house and my mom went out with some friends.
I was alone. Again. I decided to grab my Mac and some books – I wasn’t completely free from school. I put Itunes on shuffle and started American History homework. John quietly appeared in the kitchen, causing me to jump.
“Jerk” I said. He laughed “Seriously, I’m a responsible person. I’m doing my homework.”
“You, responsible?” John scoffed. I rolled my eyes. “But hey, are you okay?”
“Trying rhymes?” I giggled.
“Don’t change the subject, Baby Girl!”
I huffed.
“John, we decided to stop…”
“Already?” I cut Jared off.
“Ken’s not here, so…” Garrett said. I looked at my perfect red-manicured nails – courtesy of Gabi – showing that I didn’t care about what he was saying.
“Hey, let’s play Halo” Pat said, knowing that I was feeling uncomfortable. Garrett looked at me one last time and left the room. Pat, Jared and John followed him.
Soon, I could hear the sounds of shots and screams. As much as I loved that game, I was getting annoyed. I tried to pay attention on my homework but it wasn’t that easy. I decided to listen to the songs on shuffle. I recognized Since You Been Gone by ADTR. That was a good song; at least for the moment.
“Dude, is that A Day To Remember?” Jared asked.
“Since when your sister listen to A Day To Remember? It’s kinda… loud” John said. I could imagine him frowning.
“She’s doing that on purpose” Pat laughed. Yeah, my brother knows me too well.
“What?”
“Have you heard this song?”
“No” the guys said, confused.
“Pay attention to the lyrics.”
They were quiet for a moment, paying attention I guess. Garrett laughed bitterly. I grabbed my Mac, going to my room.
“Nice song, Leigh” Garrett said.
“Asshole.”
He laughed, relaxed.
“I’d feel offended. She was dead serious” I heard Pat said. I hid a smile.
“Believe me when I say I know your sister.”

I think they got tired, because I heard Garrett and Pat in his room. I was listening to MakeDamnSure, so I turned it up. It’s a great song, and you know it.
I clicked on twitter, just to check it. Gare had tweeted something.
‘a long night spent with you most obvious weakness, you start shaking at the thought’
What an asshole! It’s obvious he wrote that for me.
‘I just wanna break you down so badly, in the worst way!’
Tweeeeeeeeeeeeeet. Yeah, I’m creepy like that. I decided to play the same game as him.
Wait, a new tweet.
‘@patmaine love sucks’
Moron. I got up and opened my door a little.
“Asshole!”
I laid back on my bed.
‘@patmaine Leigh just yelled at me from her room’
I laughed.
‘I’m not sorry.’
I shut my laptop, looking for something to do. My bed was so comfortable, why not take a nap? I put my earplugs on, listening to the calm songs on my playlist.

I don’t know how long I’ve been off, but the sound of voices in the corridor made me wake up. I checked m phone; 1 am. Whoa, all that time? I quickly showered and changed into my pjs.
I opened my door, peeking outside. I could hear laughs coming from Pat’s room and lights coming from Tim’s. My parents were sleeping already – what’s not new. I went to Tim’s room, opening the door a little.
“Hey, I di-“ I closed the door again, my heart skipping a beat.
It was Garrett. Not Tim. Garrett. How can I be such an ass? The door opened again and before I could walk away, Garrett grasped my arm.
“I’m sorry.”
That’s all he said. Well, he whispered, making everything more dramatic. Stop it, idiot, I thought to myself; I tend to make everything worse. He dropped my arm and I ran back to my room.
“No no no, come back Leigh!”
I reconsidered stop. Stop, go back to his room and spend the whole night with him. That’s what I needed. But not what I wanted; I’m not that easy. Garred sighed as I shut my door. I got under the covers and braced myself. I kept thinking of Garrett, so I didn’t need much to asleep.