Fuel to the Fire

I felt like my head was gonna fall in the next morning. Separated from my body. And would roll on the floor. Seriously.

It hurt so much that I couldn’t even open my eyes. I groaned in pain, pulling the blankets over my head. I stayed in bed for a long time, trying to sleep again but nothing worked.

Pat woke up, showered and called Lauren. She asked about me and he didn’t know what to answer, what made me laugh. And then groan in pain. I skipped breakfast and lunch, staying at the hotel to pack my things. We were going to Jersey today.

To be honest, I didn’t want to go; I wanted to go back to Arizona. Even though I loved those boys, it felt strange to be around them, especially after last night, since I’m the only girl here. I missed someone to talk to, you know?

But no, I wouldn’t go home. Tim asked me to help him, and it was my job to help the boys since he couldn’t make it. And I would have to do it.

At 3, we left to the airport. Pat and John were helping me with everything, but the guys – including Garrett – were kinda avoiding me. I didn’t blame them for that – well, I blame Garrett – and the state I was in didn’t help too. Even with all those pills I had taken, my head ached a lot and my humor wasn’t the best.

I leaned against Max, my face resting on his arm as we waited for our flight. We were doing our best to keep ourselves entertained, but most of our attempts failed. Garrett looked at me when I moaned, bringing my hands to my face.

“Are you feeling better?” Kenny asked. I shook my head.

“You should go for a walk... I can come with you” Jared suggested.

“Maybe later.”

Jared nodded and I smiled sweetly at him. He started to talk to Pat after a minute and I sank even more to Max’s side, playing with the sleeve of my hoodie.

“You know what, do you wanna go for that walk now?” I asked “I need some water.”

“Your head hurts?” John asked. I nodded sadly.

“Getting drunk was a stupid idea” Garrett said.

“You’re stupid” I whispered, loud enough for them to hear. Garrett sighed.

“Look Amanda, you’re not gonna like this, but Tim asked me to take care of you wh-“

“You know what else is stupid?” I cut him off “This. I don’t need anyone to take care of me.”

I got up.

“You coming?” I asked Jared. And yes, I was sweet. I didn’t want to be harsh or anything, it wasn’t their fault. He nodded and followed me.

We walked in silence until Jared decided to talk. I didn’t refuse, I always liked these crazy talks I had with him.

“I’m fucked up” I said honestly “My head is messed up, I remember things from last night that I don’t want to remember. I don’t remember things I want to remember. I.. I-“

“Leigh, calm down. Do you know what happened last night?”

I gave him my best sarcastic look.

“I mean, after you left?”

I shook my head.

“Pat was pissed; really really pissed. Nicole what was going on and tried to sneak out, but Kennedy talked to her and I don’t think she’ll bother us for a while. Tim called us and Max explained everything, before he called John. While all of this happened, I talked to Garrett. And Leigh, the kid is messed up too.”

“I don’t get why.”

“Look, I’m not saying that you’re wrong but have you tried to talk to him?”

I shook my head again.

“You need to.”

“But Jared, he was kissing her. Like, he didn’t stop her or anything.”

Jared scratched his jaw for a second.

“Again, I’m not saying you’re wrong. But I think you should give him a chance. Will you?”

I thought about it. We hadn’t had the chance to talk yet; I had been avoiding him the whole day. I sighed, nodding.

“Good” Jared smiled.