Fuel to the Fire

I don’t know if I was lucky or unlucky to sit next to Garrett in the airplane. Maybe I was lucky; I needed to talk to him. Maybe I was unlucky; I didn’t know how to make it. I was restless as our plane departed; Garrett looked at me as if I had problems and took his iPod out.

John, sitting by my other side, soon fell asleep. I took the chance to talk to Garrett. Breathing deeply, I turned to him.

“Garrett?”

He looked surprised at me, dropping one of his earplugs.

“What?”

“Why did you do that?”

“What did I do?”

“You didn’t stop her. I know you’d never kiss her Garrett, but why you didn’t stop her?”

“I-I don’t know.”

“You’re not helping” I told him honestly.

“Look Leigh, I’m sorry.”

I opened my mouth to speak again, but closed it. We stood in silence for a minute, thinking. John turned to my side, snoring softly and making me jump. Garrett smiled a little before looking at me again, serious this time.

“I love you.”

My eyes landed on the tattoo on my wrist for a second.

“Every time you say that, someone get hurt. I’m tired, Gare.”

“What do you mean?”

“I need some time to think. I don’t think it is the best for me, but it is the best for us.”

“Are you breaking up with me?” Garrett pulled back to look properly at me. I looked down.

“I don’t know… No. No, I am not breaking up with you. I’m just… Look Garrett, I love you but… God, I feel awful.”

“Shhhh” he whispered, hooking his arm around me and hugging me closer to him “It’s okay, Leigh.”

“Aren’t you mad at me?”

“Hell, no! If you think it’s the best…” he breathed deeply, as if to control himself “And I’m still your best friend, remember?”

I didn’t answer, I just cried. Garrett leaned me onto him, his hands rubbing my back soothingly.

We stood like that until our plane landed in Trenton. I stopped crying eventually, but I still felt awful. Garrett got up, bringing me with him. He kissed the top of my head, hugging me, before walk away without looking back. Max patted my back as I zipped my hoodie up and followed Kennedy. I knew they had heard everything Garrett and I said.

I walked between Pat and John in the airport, sometimes stealing glances from Garrett, who was walking ahead with Jared. Pat put his arm around me.

“I’m proud of you.”

“Yeah, me too” John whispered, squeezing my shoulder lightly.

“Good, because I’m not.”

When we got to our hotel, the first thing I did was call Lauren. I told her everything and she was a bit surprised, she didn’t expect that, but she said I did the right thing; I did need some time alone.

Later that day, we went to a club; it was almost becoming a habit. Garrett and I hadn’t talked yet, and I spent the rest of the day locked in my room.

My first thought when we entered the club was wow. I was feeling a way better, but I wasn’t completely recovered from last night. The lights were hurting my eyes and the loud music was making my head throb. Pat said he would take care of me and it almost made me mad. I already said I don’t need a babysitter.

John said he would get drunk, because last night I got drunk and he had to take care of me and didn’t have fun – aw, I bet he had! I always get funnier when I’m drunk. I had to make it up for him tonight.

Always so soon – I mean, it was past 3 – Pat and Kennedy decided to go back to the hotel. John said he wanted to stay and I wanted to stay with him. Garrett disapproved my idea, but didn’t say anything. After a quick good night, John and I walked back to the bar.

“Are you getting drunken tonight?” I asked. He smirked. I chuckled.

“Are you okay?”

I knew what he was talking about. I sighed, sipping the beer he had handed me.

“Yeah, I’m okay. Thanks for everything, John.”

He had helped me a lot, and I don’t think I could thank him enough.

“John, what do you think is going to happen?” I asked him after a moment. He gazed at me, thinking.

“You love him and he loves you. No matter how hard you try, you’re not gonna stay away from him.”

“That is something” I said “do you think we’ll be fine?”

“I’m sure you will.”

And in the end, John helped me again. Whenever I needed help, I asked him; he always makes me feel better, no matter what.

And I felt better. He made me feel better because we drank too much and I got drunk. Again.

Halfway to the hotel, I passed out. I think. John was carrying my in his arms and whispering something to someone when I woke up.

“Fuck, John I thou-“

“Look Garrett, I know you love her. She’s like a baby sister to me; you know I’d never do anything to her.”

“No, that’s cool man. I was worried about her.”

“John” I whined, cringing a little when my brain finally registered what Garrett said.

I heard Garrett sigh and touch his hand to my cheek for a moment, before John shift.

“Take her to her room, she’s tired.”

“Okay.”

Before John make his way to my room, I blacked out.