Fuel to the Fire

My days are being weird. Or I get drunk and pass out, or I spend the night crying until I fall asleep. I don’t know what happened to me, I wasn’t like this before. But that’s also a good thing because I’ve became more responsible – I know, I can’t believe that too!

Tim wanted me here to take care of the band, and that’s exactly what I was doing. It was only during the day, during the night…

Meanwhile, John and I became really close. No, not that close. John and I? Ew. When I wasn’t with Pat, I was with him. Garrett on the other hand… I don’t think I talked to him again, except for the heys and byes. And it was hard. He said he was still my best friend, but he kinda seemed to be avoiding me.

On the third weird day, I texted him asking what was wrong. I felt nervous though, I didn’t know if he would answer me or not. I waited ten, fifteen minutes, but no answer. I got up from my bed and walked to the bathroom to wash my face. I heard the door open and Garrett walked in, stopping in the doorstep. I turned to him, biting my lip.

“Nothing’s wrong” he breathed; I knew what he was talking about “It just feels… strange… to be around you.”

“It didn’t feel strange before… you know. You said you’re still my best friend, but I barely see you.”

“You know why, Amanda.”

And I did know why. We wouldn’t be the same; we wouldn’t kiss or hug, or do the things we were used to. And it would be wrong. Garrett was wrong and so was I.

Garrett stepped closer to me and put his finger under my chin, to stop me from looking away. I didn’t say anything as he leaned down, stopping a few inches away; I could feel his warm breath on my parted lips. Grabbing fistfuls of his shirt, I pulled him to me.

He backed us until my back hit the sink and drifted his arms along my waist, pressing me to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he lifted me, sitting me on the sink so I didn’t have to stand on my tiptoes to kiss him.

My brain finally registered what we were doing; I pushed him back, covering my face with my hands.

“What am I doing?” I whispered, more to myself. Garrett took my hands in his and squeezed them.

“The right thing” he whispered and kissed my cheek lightly. I watched him as he left my room, thinking of what I had done. What was wrong with me? I was trying to stay away from him and he simply comes to my room, making me melt in his arms. That was the last time I talked to him.

We spent about five days in Jersey, because The Maine had to play in a three-day festival with Austin Gibbs. In the last day, we went out for dinner before go back to the hotel and finish packing our stuff.

John wanted to go out and I wanted to go with him; Garrett didn’t like my choice and decided to argue about it. I got mad, who the hell he thought he is to tell me what to do¿ I ended up talking too much and I think I hurt him. Our little talk turned into something worse when I mentioned Nicole’s name. Ops.

“It disgusts me to know that you’ve kissed her, Garrett” I said “I’ll be happy to never kiss you ever again.”

We were pissed at each other after that and John suggested me to stay, but no, I’ve had worse fights with Garrett; I wouldn’t let him turn me down. John, Max, Kennedy and got to the club and walked right to the bar; well, I did. John, knowing my mood, just followed me.

“Leigh is underage, she can’t drink” Max said as I ordered a beer.

“I can drink and I will drink. More than you all together.”

“Is that a challenge?” Kennedy laughed.

“Challenge accepted” John smirked.

Kennedy and Max didn’t drink, they said they had to take care of us. But John and I…. ops. Kenny tried to drag us back to the hotel, but we didn’t want to. He gave up eventually and left with Max.

And I lost it; John drank a way more than me, if that was possible. When we were about to leave, some girls stopped us. I think one of them had hooked up with John once. Wait, John hooking up with someone? That’s new. They were nice; I liked them. Actually, I would like anybody in the state I was in.

We drank more, I almost passed out, we drank a little bit more until we decided to play Truth or Dare. Jessica asked John and he said truth. Her question made me laugh for minutes; she asked if John was gay. John Cornelius O’Callaghan V gay? hell no.

I was next and Chloe, the girl who made out with John, had to ask me something.

“Truth” I said. She smirked.

“Is that true… that you’re dating Garrett?”

“Dare.”

No way in hell I was gonna answer her question. She was about to complain, but Jessica, the other girl, whispered something in her ear and she giggled.

“I dare you to kiss John.”

In any other minute, I would have denied that and suffered the consequences, but right now, I was so drunk I would accept anything.

“Hey, uh, no” John said when I turned to him.

“Come on, John! We’re so drunk that we won’t even remember this tomorrow.”

John rubbed his eyes for a second and sighed. I giggled a little as he stepped closer and leaned down. He stopped for a second and shook his head; I cupped the side of his face and pulled him to me. And wow, John was a good kisser. His lips on mine were soft, a bit demanding, but somehow gentle. One of the girls cleared her throat and I turned to her, annoyed.

“Uh, yeah, it was fun” one of them muttered, giggling like a little girl. We played a few more rounds until John say it was late and we had to go back to the hotel, or Pat would get mad at us.

I almost fell and hit my head against a wall as we walked to our rooms in the hotel, so John had to carry me again. When we were almost in my room, I stopped him, asking if we could go to his room. He was sharing a room with Max, and he wasn’t there. I couldn’t stop giggling and smiling as John walked us to his bed.

“Whoah, I’m dizzy” I said as John stumbled a little. He fell to his side, his arm and my legs hitting the wall. “John, let me go. I don’t wanna fall and hit my head.”

John laughed.

“You almost fell off that staircase and died.”

“Almost.”

John tried to set me down, but I almost fell. Ugh, I hate being drunk. My back hit against the wall, as I held onto John and brought him with me. His body crushed against mine, in a way that my face was close to his. I pushed him down and soon, I felt his lips over mine again. His hands moved down my arms to my waist and I slid my hands under his shirt, lifting it slowly.

“Leigh, what the fuck are you doing?” John asked, moving my hands from his back.

“Oh yeah, I forgot you’re asexual.”

He laughed as I untangled myself from him and walked to his bed. John went to the bathroom and washed his face, before go back to the room and removed his shirt. I, already half asleep, moved to the side, making room for him. He laid next to me and made some joke, before mutter good night; soon, I could hear him snoring softly. I didn’t need much to drift off to sleep.