All the Things She Said

The pass three years had been a complete nightmare, but also a complete blessing. After Harry had left, Lillian was a hot mess. Day in and day out she was miserable and found herself on Anne's doorstep quite often. Anne had comforted the young girl with kind words and sent Lillian's letters to Harry, but it never seemed to help.

"He'll call when he's ready sweetheart. I'm sure of it," was a common quote from Anne. She coddled them both on rough nights, but knew that only they could work it out. A middle man couldn't end a world war.

But time went by, and Harry hadn't written back nor given Lillian a call. Her hope began to dwindle and she eventually stopped trying. She stopped visiting Anne for the weekly XFactor, and she stopped crying over a boy that clearly wasn't interested anymore. She stopped feeling so much self pity and depression over Harry Styles.

She had moved on and began to make her own success. Landon, Lucas, Emily, Alex, and Lillian had all moved out into the big city of London. Alex and Lucas focused on school, while Emily and Landon pursued their dreams. Landon had continued to grow in the acting industry and was now a world renowned actor. Emily grew to be an A list sylist with her own styling studio. This left Lillian to become a high end, editorial model with the help of Emily.

Though Lillian had much more going on in her life, she hadn't completely changed. She still found herself stuck with a controlling brother and a unique case of selective mutism. She may have decided to never put so much faith into one person again, but it didn't mean she was healed of her pain.

She really didn't have much time to worry about Harry with her new career and boyfriend, Alex. However, Lillian still thought about Harry from time to time. Every day she tried to remove him from her memory, but it proved harder and harder with his face plastered on every corner. It would have been a lie to say she wasn't still soft on him, but the scars were too great to simply forgive and forget.

"Good morning babe," Alex said placing a kiss upon Lillian's lips. His tender kiss his had woken Lillian. A cold sweat ran down her back as her eyes fluttered open to see Alex hovering over her with two coffee mugs.

"I made it just how you like it for your big day," he said with a huge smile.

Today was the day Lillian and Emily had been waiting for. It was the day that Lillian would be modeling for one of the biggest celebrities in London, and Emily had booked them for as a permanent client. Emily had kept who this client a secret from Lillian for the longest, but she would soon know. Lillian was plainly excited to have a day when Harry wouldn't cross her mind.

"You better get going though. Landon is waiting for you downstairs." Alex was now standing in the frame of the bedroom door. He admired Lillian from the short distance and felt a wave of excitement fall over him. He looked at her as if she were a golden trophy. He felt lucky to finally call her his own.

"Thanks, Alex," Lillian said softly with a smile. Twenty-one words, she thought.

Lillian quickly scrabbled out of the white, satin sheets and into the closet to find something of Alex's to wear for good luck. She decided on a long button up shirt she would wear as a dress. Lillian slipped the thin fabric over her head and put on her designer charcoal black heels that had red accents on the bottom.

Her wavy, auburn hair flowed freely past her shoulders to the middle of her back. A light coat of foundation covered her face and a bold red masked her lips. She put a few strokes of mascara on her eyelashes and light, matte eye shadow on her eyelids. She walked out of the bedroom and into the kitchen of the flat.

"Good luck, and tell Emily congratulations on her new client," Alex said. He greeted Lillian with a thermos mug and a granola bar.

Lillian smiled and nodded, grabbing the food from his hands. He kissed her on the lips softly before speaking again. "How did I ever get to be so lucky to be dating the prettiest girl in the world," he said pulling her closer to him. All she could do was blush, shaking her head.

"No really, how many guys can say that they're dating a model," Alex asked. Lillian shrugged her shoulders, looking away from him.

She knew he was trying to be sweet, but it made her feel lesser than. Lillian didn't want to have a shallow label of a simple model. She wanted to mean more to him.

She quickly shook the thought from her head and turned her attention back to Alex. "Well, I guess you have to go now," he said jutting his lip out like a five year old. He pulled her into a tight, bear hug. He was quite fond of the girl. "But promise me something before you go?"

"Anything, Alex." Nineteen words left.

"Promise me you won't go falling in love with Mr. Wonderful," he whispered into her ear.

"I promise Alex, you know it's gonna be you and me together, always." She whispered softly back to him, only six words remaining.

"Even if it's--," he started.

Lillian hushed him. "Don't bring Harry up. He's irrelevant," Lillian said. She unraveled herself out of his grasp and putting a finger to his lips, running out of words.

"I know it's just that--," he started again. Lillian quickly put her finger to his lips again, and shook her head, disapproving of the topic. "Fine, I'll see you later?"

She nodded her head 'yes' as he lead her to the front door. "I love you," he said, kissing her as she stood in the door frame. She kissed him back softly, running her hand through his hair. When he pulled away she gave him a weak smile and waved goodbye, then set out on her way.

She made her lonely journey from the penthouse apartment and out to the parking lot. The paparazzi surrounded the thin pavement. The few more were gathered around Landon's car hoping to get a glimpse of him through his tinted windows. Lillian let out a deep breath before pushing her way though the mob. She was being pushed, shoved, shouted at, and even grabbed. Their flashes were blinding and their behavior was horrid.

"Hurry up," Landon shouted at Lillian as she opened the door. Lillian quickly slid into the passenger seat and let out a deep sigh of relief.

"Get the hell out of my way," he yelled out the window, flicking them off. They pulled out of the parking lot in silence, the radio playing for background noise.

Before long they came to a red light, and Lillian could feel his eyes on her. She quickly turned to him and gave him a look. A strong tension had been built up from the last time they saw each other. They had gotten into a large fight that soon grew physical. Lillian had wanted to move in with Alex, but Landon was strongly against it.

Lillian had thought it was because Landon wanted to have total control over her life, but Landon saw it other wise. He simply wanted to instill the values and morals that their mother would have wanted for Lillian. He knew she wouldn't approve of Alex and Lillian living together before marriage. Hell, he knew she wouldn't approve of the frequent sleepovers, but that would have been another battle he didn't feel like putting the effort into.

"Are you alright," he asked quietly, looking her in the eyes. Lillian nodded slowly. She turned her attention away from him. "Good," was all he said before putting the car in motion once again.

For those few seconds he was her brother again, but she knew it wouldn't last too long. He's been doing it more and more lately. He would appear friendly one second and then becoming an evil, cold-blooded beast the next.

They sat quietly for a while longer in the London traffic, until they pulled into the parking lot of where the photo shoot was being held. "Lillian," he said from beside her. She turned to face him. "I swear to God if you fuck this up for Emily--."

Lillian held a hand up to him. "I'm fucking nineteen years old, you can't tell me what to do," she said coldly. "I'm you're sister. Be happy for me."

"Oh really," he said raising an eyebrow.

Lillian looked him straight in the eyes and nodded. He shook his head at her before grabbing the bottom of her face with one hand. He began to squeeze her face between his fingers so hard that it felt as if her jaw was breaking.

"You know Lillian, you've always have been disrespectful towards me, but you usually knew when to stop. Lately you've been pushing you limit. You're lucky I don't make your life a complete living hell because trust me I could do that, and it would be worse than anything that you have ever seen, worse than hell itself."

He was right. Ever since Harry left those few years ago, Lillian grew bolder. She had promised she would never let anyone get that close to her ever again. The abrupt heartbreak had caused her became colder, and she started to push more and more. She was tired of taking shit from everyone, especially Landon.

She talked back more and he found a way to dig deeper under her skin. He always won, but she knew her new attitude got to him every once in a while. She had found a way to not care anymore. She liked the idea of who she was becoming. Lillian Madison was all that was left.

She kept her eyes locked on him, not wanting to give in. She kept her stare blank, not showing any emotion, but he kept squeezing.

"I keep trying and trying with you, and they all say 'Don't be so hard on her, she'll come around,' but they just don't understand. They don't understand that I'm not the problem, you are. They don't get that you're a cold-hearted, ungrateful bitch," he said letting go of her. She rolled her eyes and grabbed the door handle, wanting to get out of the car, but he quickly locked the doors.

"We go through this and I'm so over it. When will you ever learn," he yelled, slapping her across the face. "If you only knew how badly I want to kick the shit out of you right now." He paused to look at her. "Get out. I'm done with you." He shouted loudly and unlocked the doors.

She let out a few helpless gasps, trying to catch her breath, before sliding out of his car. He quickly pulled away leaving her in a shook up mess. She took in a few deep breaths before she got myself together.

Lillian wiped her eyes and walked into the large building. She checked in at the front desk and was escorted to the large room, where the other models were already waiting. She walked over to them, and they each gave her a warm hello. She said hi and sat on the end by myself, waiting for the make-up artist, hair stylist, and then to be dressed.

"Lilly." Lillian heard a familiar voice shout from behind her. She turned to see Emily with a large smile on her face. Lillian smiled back at her and stood to greet her.

"Hey, babe," Emily said with excitement. She gave Lillian a quick hug. "Come back to the dressing rooms," she said pulling Lillian along.

Emily lead Lillian to an area that was closed over with large pseudo walls. There were z racks filled with clothes and what seemed like hundreds of pairs of shoes. She let Lillian take it all in before she spoke. "So, I have a bit of a confession," she said, sitting in one of the chairs.

"Shoot," Lillian said, sitting down beside her. "Go on."

"I never told you who this shoot was for," she said looking away from Lillian.

Lillian eyes brightened with joy. She had been waiting to know who this shoot was for for weeks. "Don't be upset with me, I couldn't let something that happened years ago get in the way of such a great opportunity for the both of us." Emily spoke slowly, waiting for the soon to come explosion.

Lillian's body locked up. In an instant Lillian knew exactly who Emily was speaking of. It all became so clear to her. She put her head in her hands.

"God, Emily." Lillian threw her head back and slouched farther into the chair she was sitting in. "You know how I feel about this," she started to say. Lillian's emotions starting to get the best of her. Her brain quickly began to lose track of her word count.

"Lillian, come on I bet he's over it!" Emily put a hand on Lillian's back.

"I'm not," Lillian shouted. "I can't do this. I'm sorry Emily, but I can't," Lillian said, stumbling over her words. She stood and Emily attempted to stop her, but Lillian pushed passed her.

"Where are you going," Emily said, grabbing onto her. "You can't quit now."

"Watch me," Lillian said wiggling out of her grasp and towards the door.

Thoughts and memories began to flood her brain, and she could feel her newly hard shell breaking as her soft, defenseless self began to seep through the cracks. her vision became blurred by her tears, and she started to feel like what she promised herself she would never be again, torn and broken. She closed her eyes and tried to shake it, but she incapable. She then felt herself bump into a foreign silhouette, causing her hit the ground abruptly.

"Sorry, love." A slick Irish accent spoke from above her. She looked up to see a blonde boy with a perfect smile standing over her. "Let me help you," he spoke again, holding his hand out. Lillian hesitated, but eventually took his gesture. He pulled her up swiftly without much effort, exchanging a short glance at her.

"Niall, you've gotta watch where you're going, mate." Lillian heard a slightly familiar voice speak from behind the blonde. He soon came into sight. His voice was now deeper and his speech was a little slower. They made eye contact, and Lillian began to feel like she had three years ago, like a helpless sixteen year old girl who was heart broken and alone.