All the Things She Said

To: me
From: Emily
I'll be there in 20. Be ready!

Lillian looked at Emily's text and frowned. She pondered the possible outcomes for the night as she walked into her closet to pick out an outfit. The white walls engulfed her and drowned her in a world of materialism. The large walk-in closet was stacked wall-to-wall with designer clothes. Chanel, Prada, and Versace painted the labels of her array of clothing. She sighed and decided on a tight, black, thigh length dress that she paired with black Christian Louboutins.

A large, white vanity sat on the far end of the closet in front of a bay window. She sat down and began to make herself look presentable. She slicked her hair back into a high pony tail and dipped her lips in red. A sultry smokey eye was painted beautifully on her eyelids. She looked at herself in the mirror and smiled with satisfaction.

"Hey beautiful." Alex spoke from behind her as he wrapped his arms around her. Lillian jumped at his unsuspected presence. "Didn't mean to scare you. I left uni early and thought I would surprise you."

Lillian looked up at him and smiled, wrapping her arms around his. "So I assume you're going out," Alex asked as he looked her over. Lillian nodded her head, looking at him through the mirror. "Damn, I was hoping to spend the night with you. I have movies and all your favorite sweets," he said, sadly. Lillian looked at him once again.

"Where are you going? Another raging model party I'm not invited to," he asked. Lillian turned completely to look at him, his eyes looked hurt. Lillian touched his faced in a coddling way.

"You're always invited." Lillian spoke to him as she started her mental countdown. She crossed her arms over her chest. He gave me a weak smile.

"I know but you never ask me to go." He spoke in a hurt tone. Lillian looked at him, knowing better than to argue with him. Lillian had always found him to be a tad bit dramatic.

Alex took her hand, standing her up. He held her in his arms. He laid light kisses on her neck and trailed his fingers across her frame. He lead her out of the closet into her posh bedroom. A king sized bed with a canopy frame was positioned against a black and white stripped accent wall, a black leather bench at the foot. White curtains hung from the canopy of the bed and from the windows. Treasured black and white, film photographs were hung from the walls and a flat screen television was placed on the wall opposite the bed.

He sat on the edge of the bed, guiding her along with him. "But enough about that. You never told me where you're going."

Lillian bit the inside of her cheeks, not knowing what to say. If she told him the truth, he would be upset, but if she lied he would be even more upset when he found out. Lillian played with her pony tail and let out a long drawn out sigh, not knowing how to put it.

"What," Alex asked, sensing something was wrong.

Lillian bit down harder. Eventually, she threw her phone at him so he could read the text messages from Emily. She walked into the bathroom so she wouldn't have to look at him. She began to fidget with the cabinets to distract herself. It wasn't long before he was at her side, frustration in his eyes. She touched his arm, but he pulled away.

"Lilly, you can't be serious." Alex said as she parted her lips. He ran a hand through his hair and let out a drawn out sigh himself. "After all the crap he put you through and now you're gonna go hang out with him like nothing happened."

"That's the past." Lillian said following him back to the bedroom.

"Please Lilly, don't pretend like he didn't hurt you. You would lock yourself in your room so you could watch XFactor and cry. You would threaten to kill yourself so often that your brothers had to keep you under constant watch. After all of that you would still self harm. You have no clue how scary it was to not be confident that I would see you the next day." Lillian looked up at him and sighed, rolling her eyes. He was being melodramatic.

"He's a loser Lil. I just don't want to see you get hurt again, and I don't want to lose you." He laid across the bed. She smiled because she knew he had good intentions, but he was being way too paranoid.

"It's not about him," she said, caressing his face gently. Lillian knew she wasn't going to leave Alex for a boy that she wanted nothing to do with, but she didn't know how to make him believe that.

Lillian shook her head and snuggled next to him. Alex looked down at her and kissed her lips softly. Lillian pulled him closer and kissed him back more intensely. She felt his smile against her lips, and she shivered with happiness. The light kiss blossomed into something far less innocent, their hands begging to explore each others bodies.

"Lillian," Alex asked, kissing her neck. Lillian let out a small moan, letting him know she was listening. "Can I have you tonight? Please? You're too beautiful to not let me do so," he said, starting to put his hands up her dress.

Lillian was alarmed. She quickly ripped his hands from her body and untangled herself from him. She looked at him in disbelief. They were both aware of her boundaries, and there was line she wasn't quite ready to cross.

"No." Lillian tugged at her dress until it was back to it's original length.

"Why not Lil." He spoke as if it weren't a big deal.

"You know why," she rose her voice. Thirteen words were left to come from her vocabulary.

"God Lillian, you are such a tease. I'm just asking for one simple thing." He paused to give her a glare. "It's not like I'm going to a party with my ex that I was so much in love with," he said with a bit of an attitude. He looked at her knowing he had gotten under her skin. Lillian scoffed at his barbaric comments. She was shocked at what he had to say on the subject.

She stood from the bed without a word. She went into the bathroom to touch up her hair and makeup. She walked out of the bedroom and towards the front door.

"Lilly! Where the hell are you going? We aren't finished talking." Alex shouted from behind her.

She ignored him and continued to walk away from him. Alex followed her. Lillian's arm was caught in Alex's hand as he pulled her back to him. She tried to fight him, but his grip only amplified. He slammed her against the wall and held her there, until she calmed.

"Lilly, I forbid you from going to this party," he yelled. His grip loosened from her arms.

"You can't forbid me." She said, wiggling from his grasp completely.

"Oh really because I bet you I can. You aren't going and that's final," he said. He stood his ground and puffed out his chest to appear more daunting.

"Watch me." Lillian said boldly. She grabbed her phone, purse, and headed towards the door once again. Alex just stood staring at her, dumbfounded. "Get out," she said holding the door open for him.

"Lillian, you need to chill." He looked at her as if she had gone mad.

"Out," she said again. She had ran out of words and started to push him out of the door.

"I'm just trying to protect you," he said. "But if you need space to see it, fine. I'll go."

Lillian watched in anger as he walked out of the penthouse. Once he was out of sight all Lillian could think to do was cry. They hadn't fought like that before, never physical. She waited a few minutes, until she was sure Alex was gone, and took the elevator to the ground floor. She slumped down into one of the chairs in the lobby to wait for Emily.

It wasn't long before Emily's sleek car pulled into the round-about. Lillian eagerly hoped out of her seat and walked outside. Emily rolled down her window and smiled before speaking.

"Get in babe," she said in her best guy voice. Lillian smiled through her tears and walked towards her car, sliding into the passenger seat. "Hey, what's wrong," she said, seeing Lillian's tears.

"We had a fight." Lillian wiped her tears into tear tracks. She pulled down the front seat mirror and attempted to fix her make up.

"Who had a fight?" Emily turned so that she was facing Lillian.

"Alex and I."

"Wanna talk about it," she asked, pulling out of the drive way. Lillian shook her head no, and reapplied her eyeliner. "Well alright, but you know I'm always here to talk right?" Lillian nodded, putting on a fake smile. "Just don't get too worked up about it. You and I both know Alex is an idiot, but he loves you and would do anything for you. Also babe, I think waterproof makeup would be a phenomenal investment," she said with a goofy smile. Lillian couldn't help but to laugh. "Aw there it is. That smile I know and love!"

♠ ♠ ♠

The club they walked into was packed from wall to wall. A DJ was blasting some top 40 song with a heavy base that was making the floor vibrate. Crashing sounds and colorful lights blinded Lillian as she walked closely behind Emily. Lillian had quickly slipped out of her comfort zone and was thrown into the far outskirts.

They spotted by the boys immediately and were escorted to the VIP section. Emily walked ahead of Lillian with a confident strut. All the boys greeted her with a warm welcome and a glass of expensive champagne. Lillian followed behind her. She was far from Emily's confidence, but she was greeted with several generic hi's and hellos.

She sat awkwardly for a while, keeping to herself. After she had enough of avoiding Harry, she excused herself to go to the bar. She pushed her way through the sea of sweaty people and moving bodies until she reached the bar. She sat at one of the stools and waited for the bartender to approach me.

"Well hello there. What can I get you, love." The bartender spoke in a low tone and a flirtatious smile.

"Coke please," Lillian said with a bashful smiling.

"Sure thing babe. Funny though, I pegged you for more of a hardcore drinker," he said with a smolder, placing her drink on the bar top.

"Gotta live hardcore to be hardcore." Liam spoke from behind her. He came into sight and slid gracefully into the seat next to her.

"Also true," the bartender said. "Well if you need anything else don't hesitate to ask love, and I mean anything," he said a little bit too flirtatious before walking away. Lillian smiled to herself and laughed, remembering that she in fact still had a boyfriend.

"Well you two seem smitten," Liam said nudging her. "Is that your love interest for the night?"

She shook her head "no" with a laugh. She admitted that she had a case of friendly flirting, but nothing more than that. "Okay fine," he said laughing. "So you don't drink," he asked, awkwardly changing the subject. "Why is that? Girls in your industry are usually ace in that category."

"Family history," Lillian said letting out a sigh. She forced herself to talk to him. Considering One Direction was Emily's new client, they weren't going away anytime soon. She decided to try to make an effort. "You?"

"I used to be really careful about it, only having one function kidney-."

"You donate?" She cut Liam off being too eager to keep the conversation going.

"Nope. I actually was really sick when I was born, for a long time," he said, playing with his hair a little bit. Lillian's heart dropped at her words. She looked at him with sympathy, unsure of what to say. "Oh babe don't look at me like that. I'm all better now, I promise. It turns out that both of my kidney are in top shape," he said with a soft laugh. Lillian nodded awkwardly. "But as you probably already figured out, I'm not here to try to make small talk."

"Yeah," she said, seventeen words left.

"And you obviously didn't come here for drinks," he said with a small laugh. "Basically, my mate Hazza has been trying to talk to you the moment you walked in the door, and he sent me over here to talk him up," he said, stumbling over his words a little bit, trying to figure out the correct way to say it.

"Hazza?" She questioned the familiar nickname, letting it linger in her mind. She sighed, trying to hide her real reaction to the name. The meaningless five letters had hit a large nerve.

"Yeah sorry, I meant Harry. Hazza is just a nickname he said an old friend used to call him, and I guess it just stuck for me."

"It's cute," she said with a half smile. It all became clear and she knew exactly where he was going with this conversation. Hopefully he would do the rest of the talking. She only had fourteen words to spare with him.

"So does that mean if he comes over you'll at least talk to him," Liam asked, his eyes lighting up a little.

Lillian smiled, let out a drawn out sigh, and nodded. She didn't particularly want to, but she knew she had to get closure. She had to prove to herself that she was over him. She had to move on, forget, and pretend like whatever they had never happened.

"Okay good," Liam said. He then motioned Harry over. She barely had enough time to breath before Harry was at her side. "I think I'll just leave you two to talk," Liam said, leaving Harry and Lillian alone.

Harry's hair was slightly greasy and was pushed back. His curls didn't appear to be as present as they used to be, and his hair seemed darker. He was dressed in all black from head-to-toe. He wore black skinny jeans that had holes on the knees that were made naturally. A black v-neck hugged his thin torso and his arms were covered in a black ink. Lillian was taken back by him.

Harry and Lillain sat in silence for what felt like ages before any of them said anything. The tension was widly thick and grew thicker with every second that passed. It wasn't the same silence they use to share; it was a weird silence. It was almost as if their skin was just burning to touch and their tongues itching to speak.

"So you're a model," was all he could think to say.

"Yeah." She subtly looked away from him, but kept contact from the corner of her eye.

"I thought all models were uh... tall. I mean no offense, but all the models I know are giants compared to you. What are you? Like five foot short," he asked with a laugh.

"I thought all boy bands could dance. No offense, but you screw up walking," she shot back at him, still not looking at him. She heard him let out a laugh that quickly died.

"I thought it were only a stereotype that all models were bitches." He was sharp with her. He hadn't meant much harm by it. He simply didn't think. Lillian quickly turned her head to give him a sharp look. "Don't even look at me like that, Lillybeth. You started this," he said with a small smirk.

"I'm a petite model. I do a lot of editorial because clothing looks better on longer legs on the runway." She was now looking at him. "Um... petite means--," she started.

"I know what petite means. I own a dictionary babe," he said as he looked her in the eyes. "You know I've really missed you, Lillybeth." He lifted her chin to make sure she was looking at him.

She felt her brain go fuzzy and her heart rate increase. She closed her eyes and shied away from him. She couldn't allow him to have this kind of power over her anymore. He shouldn't be able to activate the butterflies in her stomach and make her weak in the knees just by looking at her.

The thought "We never happened," played over and over in her head, lying to herself, but it wasn't a complete lie. Whatever they had for that small amount of time barely counted as a relationship to most. It was unreal and an unfair bliss.

"My name's Lillian." She opened her eyes and removed his hands from her face.

"Oh come on Lillybeth, don't play dumb with me. You know I've always called you that and you called me Hazza," he said shaking his head at her.

"I'm sorry, but I think you have the wrong girl." She looked at him with her eyes hard and cold. She looked into his eyes and saw them grow dark. His face filled with despair and shock.

"Lillian, stop. You know me. I'm your best friend," he said, grabbing onto her arms. "Please don't say you don't remember."

"I'm sorry, but-- it's just not me you're talking about. Whoever she is, she must have been on lucky girl," she said, trying to escape his grasp, but he couldn't let her go. He held her there, making her look at him. His eyes became so raw and filled with so much emotion that it became hard for her to bare. They must have stayed like this for at least fifteen minutes before Emily approached them.

"Lillian, Alex is here to see you," she said, pulling them out of their trans. Harry's hands fell from Lillian's forearms and their stares disconnected.

"Okay," Lillian said, nodding. With that Emily walked away, leaving Harry and Lillian alone once more. "It was really nice talking, but my boyfriend is waiting," she said, sliding off the stool and onto the floor.

"Boyfriend," Harry questioned as she began to walk away. Lillian turned around and nodded her head. "Alex?" She nodded again. "Wow," was all he fell from his lips.

"Again it was nice talking and really great to meet you formally. I'm really sorry and I hope you find your friend, but I've got to go." She shrugged her shoulders and started to walk away once more.

"But, I did," Harry said, but Lillian kept walking. "What do I have to do to prove it?"

Lillian felt him walking behind her. Harry turned her around and his eyes were begging. They were in the middle of the dance floor. Everyone was moving around them, and they stood as an islandin the madness. The look on his face made all the noise and people fade. "You're brothers are Landon and Lucas McFierce." He began to plead.

"Everyone knows that." Lillian grew embarrassed, blushing as people began to stare.

"Fine. You're middle name is Madison."

"And yours is Edward. It's called Google. Look, Alex is waiting for me. I'm sorry," she said, turning back around and making her way toward Alex. She could feel the tears starting to fill her own eyes. She felt horrible, but that's exactly how she felt when he left if not worse.

"Lillybeth, I thought I knew you better than anyone else," Harry called out. "The way you like your hot chocolate with caramel, that you have three brothers instead of two, how great you are at writing, I know all about Lakota, and most of all I know that you remember me. You have to because you didn't count when I talked to you. You've always counted for everyone except for me. You can pretend like you don't know me, but I know you do Lillian. I know you do," he said, causing Lillian stop in her tracks.

She hadn't noticed that she didn't word count for him. It had felt so natural that her brain felt as if there was no need. She looked over her shoulder, but he was no longer there. She scanned the club, but there was no sign of him. She finally had to let her tears fall. They streamed down her face as she made her way over to Alex. She heard Harry's words play over again in her head.

"Hey baby." Alex pulled Lillian into a hug, kissing her forehead.

"Why are you here." Lillian spoke in a harsh tone, trying to wipe her tears.

"I came to say I'm sorry, and I promise I will never hurt you like I did tonight. I promise I will never put my hands on you like that either. But what's up with you? Are you okay? Why are you crying?" He held her arm's length away from him so he could get a good look at her.

"It's alright and I'm fine."

"You don't look fine."

"I am! It was just a mishap. I was mistaken for someone I'm not." She pulled away from him, running out of words. She was done for the night and all she wanted to do was go home. She was emotionally drained, and she couldn't handle another fight or incident tonight.