Status: Having another go at this.
All the Things She Said
12.
Lillian sat quietly at the small table in the empty coffee shop. she held her cup just a tad bit tighter, as if she were trying to protect it, and looked out the window. The clouded sky was dark and grey. It was the perfect display of how she was feeling. Her head ached and her body throbbed. The liquor and the London club scene had caught up with her.
After the events of the club, Lillian decided to make a stop at the pub. She told Alex to go on without her, for she had business to take care of. She had never been much of a drinker, but the sense of losing herself in the alcohol was all too appealing. She simply didn't want to care or worry. She just wanted to be numb, to exist.
Lillian sipped drink after drink. The clear and brown liquids burned her throat until she was far gone. She had stumbled out of the bar in a stage of anger because the bartender refused her another drink. A nice young lad called her a cab and sought to it that she got home safely. After the long and shameful cab ride home, she was faced with another daring obstacle. Alex was waiting for her, a little tipsy himself, when she arrive at her flat. The two barely adolescent lovers began another daring shouting match. It ended with an unresolved tone along with poorly place words and hurt feelings.
Lillian had decided that she had enough of Alex. She left in a misplaced rage and took another cab to Lucas' apartment. She let herself in and made herself known, knocking on his bedroom door.
Lucas had been awake, reading a book for school and couldn't really be bothered. However, as soon as he saw the mess of Lillian that showed up in his bedroom, he set everything aside. He sat her down on his sofa and made her his perfected tea.
He didn't ask questions or pry for he knew she wouldn't respond. He didn't say a word either. He hadn't done it on purpose, but avoiding the true problem had become a second nature to him. Lucas could only spare his tea, time, and a brotherly smile to help guide her into a calmed state. He fell short in this department because of their unconventional relationship and troubled past.
"You can sleep here if you want. Landon was supposed to come over in the morning, but I can cancel." Lucas stood from his current spot next to Lillian. He had a test in a few hours, but he didn't want to leave her in an uncomfortable situation. "Whatever it is that's got you down, I'm sure it will turn out. Goodnight." Lucas kissed the top of Lillian's head and headed into his bedroom for a few hours of sleep.
Lillian didn't make a fuss and slept for a while. She promptly woke at six thirty and decided she needed to leave. She grabbed her purse and left Lucas a short note thanking him for the tea and his attempt to be comforting, knowing he wasn't ace at it. She then left and began to walk the frosted streets of London until she came to the coffee shop she now sat in.
She laid her head on the table and sighed. She let a few tears escape her eyes, feeling like a horrid person. She couldn't bear it any longer. Her brain filled with dark thoughts, taking her back to a place that she hadn't been in a long time. A place where she in fact had complete control and yet, she had none at all.
"Excuse me." Lillian lifted her head to find a familiar looking girl standing beside her. The girl had a thin frame, long brown hair, and a keen sense of style. Lillian quickly looked away to dry her tears, but when she turned back around the girl had already taken a seat across from her. Lillian smiled at her, unsure of what to do.
"Are you okay? I mean it really isn't any of my business, but I saw you over here all by yourself and you looked a little um-- upset." She talked in a soft tone that made Lillian feel comforted. She flashed Lillian a kind smile as she picked at her muffin. Lillian couldn't help, but to stare at the girl a little longer before answering.
"Uh-- no actually," she choked the words out. Lillian spoke truthfully. She figured there was no use in lying. She bit her chapped lip and thought about it. She wasn't okay. She was never okay.
"Well what's wrong?" A genuinely concerned look fell upon the girl's face.
"Don't," Lillian said. "Really it's no big deal, but thank you." Eleven words left, she thought to herself.
"No problem, but you seem to be really torn up about it. You may not think so, but your problems matter, love." She smiled sweetly at Lillian as she tried to place a hand on top of Lillian's. Lillian flinched. She couldn't stop herself from pulling away from the girl who had yet to say her name. Lillian didn't really know who she was, but she kind of liked her. Lillian had just met her, and she talked to Lillian as if she were her best friend.
"Oh sorry, I never introduced myself. I'm Eleanor, Louis' girlfriend. I meant to say hello last night, but you left so soon." She talked with such pep, her hair bouncing as she did so.
"Um, Lilly." Lillian squinted her eyes. She strained her memory to picture the girl last night. Lillian vaguely started to remember her from the crowded club. Lillian nibbled on her straw, picturing Eleanor and Louis together.
"Oh trust me I know! You're apart of the Mcfierce family," she practically screamed. "You and your brothers are simply fabulous. Your brother, Landon, is a fantastic actor, and I believe I've seen Luke around on my campus before. Goodness, you're one of my favorite models if I'm being honest." She paused so she could take a sip of her drink. "Hmh, but you seem taller in print."
Lillian was a little taken back by Eleanor's reaction to her. She had seem people go absolutely mental over Lucas, but never her. Lillian was more than humble. She never saw herself as something special, so she couldn't fathom anyone else doing so.
"I'm a petite model," Lillian explained. The Eleanor nodded as she took another sip of her drink.
"I know! It's just that you look so tall in your photos. It's a real shame you haven't done much runway though."
Lillian smiled and let out a nervous laugh. She wasn't exactly sure what to say next. She then pretended to be over interested in her mobile phone. She began tapping and sliding, as if she were in the middle of an intense text conversation.
"Eleanor, there you are," Louis said. He walked toward the girls while taking small bites of a large cookie. He slid into a seat next to Eleanor, giving her a quick kiss.
"Hey baby. I was just talking with Lilly. You remember," Eleanor asked, smiling.
"Yeah. You're Emily's model friend right," Louis asked. Lillian nodded her head 'yes' avoiding eye contact. "It's really nice to see you again."
"Likewise," Lillian said with a fake smile. She began to feel weird about the whole situation, seeing how he was now the best friend of the guy she shared so much with. The guy that she now wanted nothing to do with.
"Oh shit! We're late," Louis said as he checked his phone. "El, can you go get the car while I speak with Lillian? I need to ask her about something." He gave her a cheeky smile. Eleanor let out a small laugh. She pressed her forehead to his and nodded before kissing him gently. "Thank you," Louis said.
"No problem, but not too long or you'll be terribly late. Okay?" She bounced off toward the door.
"I'll be right there, I promise," Louis said. Lillian watched him watch her leave the coffee shop. He waited until she was out of the door before he began to speak. "What the hell is your problem," he asked.
Louis' tone had changed the mood of the conversation completely. Lillian was so taken back that for a few brief seconds she couldn't speak or even think. She could only watch his eyes as he stared at her, waiting for her to say something. She had no clue as to what he was speaking of.
"Lillian, you know exactly what I'm talking about," he said, almost as if he had read her mind. He looked at her in disbelief. He honestly thought that she knew exactly what he was talking about. "How could you do that to Harry," he asked defensively.
Lillian felt her heart skip a beat at the mention of his name. Her heart began to race as she realized what he had said. Her eyes grew larger, and she felt her checks turn a light shade or red. She hadn't expected Harry to have spoken with Louis about their previous relationship.
"Lillian," he paused to let out a sigh. He let his voice become more calm. "He told me everything quite a while ago, and I get it. I get why you would be upset; he left you. But to pretend you don't even know him? That really tore him to shreds. He was so happy when Emily came 'round because he knew you wouldn't be too far away. He thought he would be able to make it right, but then you acted like nothing ever happen between the two of you. You really hurt him. He already felt like leaving you was the biggest mistake he has ever made and to find out that you don't even want to remember your relationship took a toll on him. He was finally becoming his old self again but now? He's just a sad mess." His eyes turned from anger to concern. He truly cared for Harry.
"How do you think I felt," Lillian asked. She couldn't see how Louis pretend that it was her fault that Harry felt guilty. Maybe she had played a small part, but not nearly as big as Harry. "What? He leaves and ends up getting fame, fortune, and all the girls he could want. Tough." Lillian had ran out of words for him, but there was so much she couldn't allow herself to say. How she saw it, Harry had gotten the better end of the deal.
"I know where you're coming from and why you're upset. He messed up, and he knows, but he really wants to make things right. Harry really does still care for you, and I can tell you do too." He placed a hand on top of Lillian's, not letting her pull back. "Listen, I've gotta go, but here." He looked at her and smiled as he wrote something down on a crumpled napkin. "It's not forcing. I'm just asking you. You know, for Harry's sake."
They shared one last warm glance before he stood from his seat. He patted her shoulder and kissed her cheek lightly.
"Bye, love. I really hope I'll be seeing you soon and hopefully on better terms." He smiled at her one last time before he turned and made his way out of the door. Lillian watched him until he was no longer in sight.
Louis: 0115-958-5376
Harry: 0124-4323926
Princess Park Manor, New Southgate N11
Lillian looked at the wrinkly napkin that laid in her hand. She made a sour face and put it in her purse. She knew she would regret it.
After the events of the club, Lillian decided to make a stop at the pub. She told Alex to go on without her, for she had business to take care of. She had never been much of a drinker, but the sense of losing herself in the alcohol was all too appealing. She simply didn't want to care or worry. She just wanted to be numb, to exist.
Lillian sipped drink after drink. The clear and brown liquids burned her throat until she was far gone. She had stumbled out of the bar in a stage of anger because the bartender refused her another drink. A nice young lad called her a cab and sought to it that she got home safely. After the long and shameful cab ride home, she was faced with another daring obstacle. Alex was waiting for her, a little tipsy himself, when she arrive at her flat. The two barely adolescent lovers began another daring shouting match. It ended with an unresolved tone along with poorly place words and hurt feelings.
Lillian had decided that she had enough of Alex. She left in a misplaced rage and took another cab to Lucas' apartment. She let herself in and made herself known, knocking on his bedroom door.
Lucas had been awake, reading a book for school and couldn't really be bothered. However, as soon as he saw the mess of Lillian that showed up in his bedroom, he set everything aside. He sat her down on his sofa and made her his perfected tea.
He didn't ask questions or pry for he knew she wouldn't respond. He didn't say a word either. He hadn't done it on purpose, but avoiding the true problem had become a second nature to him. Lucas could only spare his tea, time, and a brotherly smile to help guide her into a calmed state. He fell short in this department because of their unconventional relationship and troubled past.
"You can sleep here if you want. Landon was supposed to come over in the morning, but I can cancel." Lucas stood from his current spot next to Lillian. He had a test in a few hours, but he didn't want to leave her in an uncomfortable situation. "Whatever it is that's got you down, I'm sure it will turn out. Goodnight." Lucas kissed the top of Lillian's head and headed into his bedroom for a few hours of sleep.
Lillian didn't make a fuss and slept for a while. She promptly woke at six thirty and decided she needed to leave. She grabbed her purse and left Lucas a short note thanking him for the tea and his attempt to be comforting, knowing he wasn't ace at it. She then left and began to walk the frosted streets of London until she came to the coffee shop she now sat in.
She laid her head on the table and sighed. She let a few tears escape her eyes, feeling like a horrid person. She couldn't bear it any longer. Her brain filled with dark thoughts, taking her back to a place that she hadn't been in a long time. A place where she in fact had complete control and yet, she had none at all.
"Excuse me." Lillian lifted her head to find a familiar looking girl standing beside her. The girl had a thin frame, long brown hair, and a keen sense of style. Lillian quickly looked away to dry her tears, but when she turned back around the girl had already taken a seat across from her. Lillian smiled at her, unsure of what to do.
"Are you okay? I mean it really isn't any of my business, but I saw you over here all by yourself and you looked a little um-- upset." She talked in a soft tone that made Lillian feel comforted. She flashed Lillian a kind smile as she picked at her muffin. Lillian couldn't help, but to stare at the girl a little longer before answering.
"Uh-- no actually," she choked the words out. Lillian spoke truthfully. She figured there was no use in lying. She bit her chapped lip and thought about it. She wasn't okay. She was never okay.
"Well what's wrong?" A genuinely concerned look fell upon the girl's face.
"Don't," Lillian said. "Really it's no big deal, but thank you." Eleven words left, she thought to herself.
"No problem, but you seem to be really torn up about it. You may not think so, but your problems matter, love." She smiled sweetly at Lillian as she tried to place a hand on top of Lillian's. Lillian flinched. She couldn't stop herself from pulling away from the girl who had yet to say her name. Lillian didn't really know who she was, but she kind of liked her. Lillian had just met her, and she talked to Lillian as if she were her best friend.
"Oh sorry, I never introduced myself. I'm Eleanor, Louis' girlfriend. I meant to say hello last night, but you left so soon." She talked with such pep, her hair bouncing as she did so.
"Um, Lilly." Lillian squinted her eyes. She strained her memory to picture the girl last night. Lillian vaguely started to remember her from the crowded club. Lillian nibbled on her straw, picturing Eleanor and Louis together.
"Oh trust me I know! You're apart of the Mcfierce family," she practically screamed. "You and your brothers are simply fabulous. Your brother, Landon, is a fantastic actor, and I believe I've seen Luke around on my campus before. Goodness, you're one of my favorite models if I'm being honest." She paused so she could take a sip of her drink. "Hmh, but you seem taller in print."
Lillian was a little taken back by Eleanor's reaction to her. She had seem people go absolutely mental over Lucas, but never her. Lillian was more than humble. She never saw herself as something special, so she couldn't fathom anyone else doing so.
"I'm a petite model," Lillian explained. The Eleanor nodded as she took another sip of her drink.
"I know! It's just that you look so tall in your photos. It's a real shame you haven't done much runway though."
Lillian smiled and let out a nervous laugh. She wasn't exactly sure what to say next. She then pretended to be over interested in her mobile phone. She began tapping and sliding, as if she were in the middle of an intense text conversation.
"Eleanor, there you are," Louis said. He walked toward the girls while taking small bites of a large cookie. He slid into a seat next to Eleanor, giving her a quick kiss.
"Hey baby. I was just talking with Lilly. You remember," Eleanor asked, smiling.
"Yeah. You're Emily's model friend right," Louis asked. Lillian nodded her head 'yes' avoiding eye contact. "It's really nice to see you again."
"Likewise," Lillian said with a fake smile. She began to feel weird about the whole situation, seeing how he was now the best friend of the guy she shared so much with. The guy that she now wanted nothing to do with.
"Oh shit! We're late," Louis said as he checked his phone. "El, can you go get the car while I speak with Lillian? I need to ask her about something." He gave her a cheeky smile. Eleanor let out a small laugh. She pressed her forehead to his and nodded before kissing him gently. "Thank you," Louis said.
"No problem, but not too long or you'll be terribly late. Okay?" She bounced off toward the door.
"I'll be right there, I promise," Louis said. Lillian watched him watch her leave the coffee shop. He waited until she was out of the door before he began to speak. "What the hell is your problem," he asked.
Louis' tone had changed the mood of the conversation completely. Lillian was so taken back that for a few brief seconds she couldn't speak or even think. She could only watch his eyes as he stared at her, waiting for her to say something. She had no clue as to what he was speaking of.
"Lillian, you know exactly what I'm talking about," he said, almost as if he had read her mind. He looked at her in disbelief. He honestly thought that she knew exactly what he was talking about. "How could you do that to Harry," he asked defensively.
Lillian felt her heart skip a beat at the mention of his name. Her heart began to race as she realized what he had said. Her eyes grew larger, and she felt her checks turn a light shade or red. She hadn't expected Harry to have spoken with Louis about their previous relationship.
"Lillian," he paused to let out a sigh. He let his voice become more calm. "He told me everything quite a while ago, and I get it. I get why you would be upset; he left you. But to pretend you don't even know him? That really tore him to shreds. He was so happy when Emily came 'round because he knew you wouldn't be too far away. He thought he would be able to make it right, but then you acted like nothing ever happen between the two of you. You really hurt him. He already felt like leaving you was the biggest mistake he has ever made and to find out that you don't even want to remember your relationship took a toll on him. He was finally becoming his old self again but now? He's just a sad mess." His eyes turned from anger to concern. He truly cared for Harry.
"How do you think I felt," Lillian asked. She couldn't see how Louis pretend that it was her fault that Harry felt guilty. Maybe she had played a small part, but not nearly as big as Harry. "What? He leaves and ends up getting fame, fortune, and all the girls he could want. Tough." Lillian had ran out of words for him, but there was so much she couldn't allow herself to say. How she saw it, Harry had gotten the better end of the deal.
"I know where you're coming from and why you're upset. He messed up, and he knows, but he really wants to make things right. Harry really does still care for you, and I can tell you do too." He placed a hand on top of Lillian's, not letting her pull back. "Listen, I've gotta go, but here." He looked at her and smiled as he wrote something down on a crumpled napkin. "It's not forcing. I'm just asking you. You know, for Harry's sake."
They shared one last warm glance before he stood from his seat. He patted her shoulder and kissed her cheek lightly.
"Bye, love. I really hope I'll be seeing you soon and hopefully on better terms." He smiled at her one last time before he turned and made his way out of the door. Lillian watched him until he was no longer in sight.
Louis: 0115-958-5376
Harry: 0124-4323926
Princess Park Manor, New Southgate N11
Lillian looked at the wrinkly napkin that laid in her hand. She made a sour face and put it in her purse. She knew she would regret it.
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Thanks for reading! Enjoy!-Danixx