All the Things She Said

"Baby, just go to bed," Alex said, pulling Lillian from her thoughts. He pulled her down next to him and began to cuddle her. He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her closer to him, but it wasn't something she was comfortable with. It didn't feel right. Alex had been acting really strange lately. He seemed to hardly be around anymore, they had been fighting more often, and he had become more aggressive. It wasn't like him.

Lillian pushed him away from her and sat back up. She looked mindlessly at the ratty napkin that was pinned to the wall. It had been about two weeks since she had ran into Louis, and she still couldn't bring herself to call. She pulled her legs to her chest as she continued to stare at the barely visible object in the night's darkness. She sat and told herself that she was going to do it.

She had gone through the same routine for the past few nights. No matter how many times she said she was going to call, she never could bring myself to make a move. All she could do was sit in the same spot and stare. She was losing sleep over it, and she didn't understand why.

"God Lillian, what has been up with you lately," Alex said. He was now sitting up beside her. He rested a hand on her back, but she shrugged him off. "Seriously Lilly, what the hell is wrong with you." He raised his voice at her.

"I could ask you the same thing." Lillian turned to face him. It wasn't the first time he had gotten moody with her, but she was fed up with him at the moment.

"Oh my god, here we go again. Please don't give me the third degree about this," he said. "If anything, I should be giving you the ultimatum."

"Oh really?" Lillian cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Really. You look at that bloody napkin for hours and you are obviously tore up about it. I know who's number is written on it," he said boldly. He pulled a cocky face that only displayed his nasty attitude even more. "Are you cheating on me?"

He was the one that was suddenly blowing her off more often. It was him that was coming and going at wild hours. He barely wanted to be seen with her in public anymore. If anything, it made more sense that Lillian be suspicious of him.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. It's so obvious, Lillian. Ever since you went to that club with Emily you've been so disconnected."

"I'm not! You're who appears to be shady." Lillian pressed a finger into his chest with every other word to add emphasis. She thought the topic was filled with stupidity.

"I'm shady? Don't even try to flip this on me, Lillian. I know you're still into Harry. Just say it. You know it's true." He stood from the bed and began pulling pants back onto his body. His sudden rage was obviously rose from his own jealously. He still felt as if he were in competition for Lillian's love even though she was his girlfriend.

"Whatever, Alex," Lillian said, handing him his shirt. "Just leave." She now stood from the bed as well. She had used all of her words, but she didn't care. There was nothing left to say.

"Gladly," Alex said, putting his shoes on. Lillian laid a hand on his arm, feeling slightly apologetic. She hadn't meant for him to be so upset, but as she tried to apologize, he gave her a rough push to the ground. Lillian let out a small yelp of pain. He didn't care. He continued to walk past her.

"I don't know what I ever saw in you. I'll call you when I figure it out," he said before slamming the door shut.

Lillian picked herself up and fell onto her bed. She put her head in her pillow and let out a scream. Even though she knew Alex was full of shit, it still hurt. Fresh tears escaped her eyes and a pain ached in her heart. It wasn't until she looked up that the ratty napkin caught her attention. She had to talk to him.

Lillian went into her closet and quickly changed into a pair of jean shorts and an old Jack Wills sweatshirt of Harry's that she forgot she still had. She slid on a pair of Vans and quickly ripped the napkin from the wall. She put a number into her mobile and pressed the call button. The phone rang a few times before he answered.

"Hello?" His voice was being swallowed by a bumping bass and several people talking in the background.

"Louis," Lillian asked.

"Lillian, is that you?" His voice was now more faint. Lillian nodded, even though he couldn't see her. "Hold on, it's too loud in here," he said. Lillian nodded again as she began to bite her nails; her nerves were starting to kick in.

Lillian heard a few muffled sounds as if he had put his hand over the receiver. "Hello? Are you still there," Louis asked a few moments later.

"Y-yeah," she replied. She couldn't believe what she was doing. Lillian felt wrong going through with this.

"Sorry, it's pretty noisy inside the club," he said with a small laugh. "So what's up? Are you okay? You need anything?" He asked these things as if they were close friends, instead of strangers who were only brought together for no more than a mutual friend.

"A ride," Lillian said plainly. She needed to speak with Harry, but she couldn't drive. She wouldn't dare ask Landon or Lucas to take her.

"Uh-- sure, love. Where?" Lillian could hear the hesitation in his voice.

"You're place." She began to play with her hands, waiting for him to say something. She hoped that she hadn't been too straight forward.

"Really," he asked a little shocked.

"Yes."

"Finally," he said with a hint of relief. "I was starting to think you weren't ever going to call."

"Yeah, me too," Lillian said with a small laugh. She ran a hand through her hair. She now began to pace her room.

"Well I'm glad you called, and I'm sure Harry will be too." Lillian could hear his smile through the phone. "So where and when am I picking you up?"

"Now? I'll text you my address."

"Alright. I guess I'll see you soon then."

"Bye." Lillian was worried. Her heart started to beat just a tad bit faster, but she kind of liked it. It wasn't the usual feeling she got. It was different. It was a good different.

"Bye."

[c] ♠ ♠ ♠ [/c]

Lillian watched as Louis slid his key into the lock. He turned it with a bit of hesitation, as if he had just gotten a sudden thought, before pushing the door open and walking in. He held the door open a tad bit wider, inviting her inside.

Lillian walked in behind him, closing the door behind herself. Louis turned on a few lights, making the rooms brighter. Lillian looked around and was impressed. Their flat looked to be very posh. It was hard to believe two fairly young boys lived there.

Lillian followed Louis mindlessly into the kitchen where Louis had began to pick through the fruit bowl. Once he was satisfied, he decided on picking off a few grapes and popping them into him mouth. Lillian leaned against the island on her forearms and watched. He smiled at her, leaning on the island himself, and putting another grape into his mouth.

"Do you want anything," he asked. Lillian shook her head 'no'. He shrugged, still looking at her. "Come," he said. "His room is through this way." Lillian followed him through the flat until they came to a dark hallway. "Last door on the left." He pointed toward the end of the hall.

"Thanks," Lillian said as she slowly approached the door.

"Good luck," Louis called, walking back toward the kitchen as Lillian walked down the hall. Lillian waited until Louis was out of sight before knocking lightly on the door. "He won't answer love, just go in," Louis called from the kitchen, frightening her. She hadn't expected him to hear. Lillian pull herself together and her placed her hand on the cold door knob. She hesitated for a moment before twisting it and pushing the door open.

His room was dark and slightly colder than the rest. He laid sprawled out on his bed, his head underneath a pillow, and his left arm hung over the bed, holding a bottle of vodka. He appeared to be dead, but the way his body moved up and down in a steady pattern made it clear he was alive. Also, the faint sound of his soft sobs and quiet sniffles were clear signs. Lillian looked at him and decided that she had no clue where to start.

"Go away Louis," Harry spoke slowly without moving. Lillian let out a shaky breath as she inched toward him. Once she was close enough, Lillian gently removed the bottle from his hand and placed it on the end table.

"God Lou, why can't you just leave me alone," he shouted, still motionless. Lillian was a little taken back by his outburst. She had never heard him yell like that. He turned his head to face her. His eyes were peaking out from under his pillow. His eyes softened from their much harder state when he realized she wasn't his fellow band mate. A simple 'oh' fell from his mouth.

A soft smile played on her lips. "Hey," Lillian said, biting her sore bottom lip. He didn't say anything for a long while. He just stared at her, but she didn't mind.

Eventually he sat up and faced her. He didn't look the same. He looked pitiful. His face was flushed, his eyes seemed to be less vibrant. His skin was pale and his hair looked slightly flat.

"Hey," he said weakly. Lillian let out a small laugh and leaned closer to him. She put her hands to his face and wiped his tears with her thumb. He was now smiling back. He pulled her hands away from him and put them at her sides.

"I came to apologize and to see if you were okay." Lillian looked now at her shoes, moving her feet up and down. "You know, return your sweatshirt." Lillian laughed and peaked her eyes up to look at him. He didn't say anything. He just grabbed onto the sweatshirt, that was once his, with one hand and pulled her closer to him. He moved over so that there was room for her and continued to pull her until she was next to him.

"Don't apologize," Harry said. "I was the one that was a jerk." He pulled Lillian into a tight hug. Lillian didn't want to like it, but she did. It felt good. It felt right. "I'm sorry."