All the Things She Said

"Are you alright, love,” Harry asked, breaking Lillian from her thoughts. He steeped closer, but she stepped father away. She didn’t want to be anywhere near him.

"What have you done?" Lillian spoke fully. "You should have just let me fall. My god, what have you done?" Both of her hands rushed through her hair, as she began to pace.

Her plan had failed. It was soiled by a simple boy doing a good deed. Her escape had been taken from her in an instant, but life had given her a second chance. She couldn't bare to think about what consequences Landon had waiting for her when she returned home.

“Did I do something?” Harry was puzzled by Lillian's sudden sadness. He thought he had done the right thing.“Look, I’m sorry, but I couldn't have let you fall.”

"I have to go back." Lillian hugged herself tightly, feeling the chill once more. She shook her head with, unexplained, shock.

The two stood out in the crisp breeze for the second time that day, not saying a word to each other. Hasty breaths were released, and shallow thoughts went unexpressed. The silence grew on them like a vine would an old building. It was misplaced, but no one had ever managed to cut it.

Harry walked away from the troubled girl and began to mind his own business once again. He stood over by the edge, facing away from Lillian, and was chugging, what looked like, some kind of beer “Well, I thought you had to be somewhere. Don’t let me ruin anymore of your night,” he said, a tad bit bitter, without looking at Lillian.

Lillian pushed a harsh breath from her lungs and quickly turned on her heels. She pushed through the doors that lead to the roof and made the same journey she took to get there back to her home, but it seemed different. She slowed herself down and took in the familiar scenery. She passed the town bakery, a few family owned shops, and even the supermarket. She stopped by the old park as well, before she decided to actually go home.

The sky was a deep black now, somewhere after midnight, and seemed to be daunting. All of the street lights glistened against the grey pavement as usual, but it changed once she reached her street. Just like how her path had seemed different, the lights shown a different way. They didn't glisten, they held a dull characteristic. Something felt wrong and out of place.

Lillian rushed to her house, running down her long street. She quietly sneaked through the front door. The house was dead silent, except for the cold voice that spoke in the distance. It spoke harsh threats and hurtful slurs of disrespect. Lillian shook with fear, knowing who the voice belonged to and to whom it was speaking.

Suddenly, the voice came to a halt and the sound of fist-to-face contact took it's place. The sound replayed over and over again like a broken record. Though the sound was horribly familiar, it still took Lillian by surprise.

"I'm going out, but when I come back, Lillian better be here as well. If she's not, that all rests on your head, Luke." Landon's harsh voice boomed throughout the house.

Lillian ran up the steps and into safety of her bedroom. She sat in her bed and shook with fear. She wasn't afraid for herself, but for Lucas. She knew that Landon could have done his absolute worst, but was too scared to check. The tears streamed down her cheeks and a sickly feeling took over her frail body. She had marked herself as "coward".

She stood from her bed and moved out onto her balcony, hearing Landon leave in a rush. A small scream escaped her lips, only loud enough for a onlooking neighbor to hear. More tears rolled down her face as she began to feel even more helpless.

"Oi." Harry's raspy voice wavered from his own balcony. He stuck his head out farther than he naturally would, so she could see his face. "Did I cause that," he asked. He feared that he was the reason for her tears.

"No," Lillian said through her sobs.

“I barely heard you! You’ve gotta speak up babe,” he said, hoping to get a smile out of her. His attempt had failed, but his accent lingered off in the distance. "Are you sure? I was a bit boorish back there, but you were a bit dour yourself." Lillian stayed quiet.

"Would you like to talk about it?" His forearms rested on the ledge of his balcony. He looked at her with kind eyes, hoping she would take his offer.

"No." She shook her head and closed her eyes. She could feel the pain radiating from inside of her body.

"I promise I don't bite. Lilly, we can talk about anything you want or not talk at all. You just seem like some company would do you some good."

Lillian bit her lip in frustration. She couldn't figure out why he was so hell-bent on spending time with her. They had only met this morning and he had already pushed himself onto her. She was more annoyed than flattered. However, she knew the only way to get him to leave her alone would be to do as he wished.

Lillian put both of her legs over the railing and carefully climbed onto the large tree that separated both of their houses. She maneuvered through the branches until she made it to Harry's end of the tree. Harry smiled at her from the opposite end of his balcony. He walked over to her, grabbing her hips, and helped her steady herself onto the terrace.

His balcony was cozy. It held a few chairs, a coffee table, and a cheeky rug. A leather journal rested on the table along with a china tea pot and matching cups. It wasn't anything too special, but it had a nostalgic feeling that made you feel welcome.

Harry sat with his feet on the table, grabbing a cuppa. He offered it to Lillian as he gestured for her to sit. Lillian sat and polietly declined Harry's offer. She began to fiddle with her thumbs in uncertainty.

“Are you still upset with me? I mean, you got pretty moody with me earlier,” he said, breaking the silence.

Lillian bit her lip as she thought about it. She moved her hand from side to side, meaning kinda sorta. He looked at her and laughed.

“Just a little then? I could live with that,” he said, smiling. Another awkward silence dawned on them. “You don’t really talk much do you?” he asked breaking his gaze with the dark sky to look at her. “I would ask you why, but I have a feeling you’ll tell me when you’re ready." He was patient and kind with her. She could only bring herself to spare a closed-lip smile.

“It’s okay, you’re silence is kinda nice. It’s a tad bit more peaceful than regular silence and a lot more—well less lonely I guess,” he said standing. He then began to pull his top off; Lillian watched in amazement. She admired the way his bare skin complimented the moon light and the way that he shook out his head of curls.

"Sorry, I have a bit of a habit of taking my clothes off,” he said, noticing her staring. She quickly adverted her eyes, embarrassed. He laughed at her reaction. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep my pants on this time,” he said with a smirk before grabbing her hand. She pulled away promptly. “Calm down. You are so jumpy,” he said. “I just wanna show you something. Please just relax,” he said not attempting to grab her hand again. "Sorry about the mess," he warned.

She followed closely behind him into his bedroom. She looked around as he threw his shirt on the floor next to pile of discarded clothes. His room was filthy. Clothes, dirty and clean, filled the floor and a few empty crip packets were discarded around the room. It was typical for a teenaged boy, but it also had character. Vintage records decoraded the walls along with a few posters. A shelf held a few classic books, more records, and what looked to be more journals.

"Lay down,” he said, patting the spot next to him on his bed. Lillian hadn't noticed he had been sitting, being too interested in his interior design. Lillian was suddenly taken back by his gesture. She didn't feel quite comfortable.

"Come," he spoke again. Lillian rolled her eyes, but did it anyways. She sat down next to Harry, with her back against his headboard. “I don’t show many people this,” he said, reaching over to turn the light out. “It always makes me feel better,” he said.

He flipped the switch on a white box that sat on his nightstand. Harry looked over at Lillian, waiting for her reaction. His ceiling filled with constellations and far away galaxies. His ceiling had been turned into planetarium, and it was absolutely beautiful.

“Whenever you need a boost, feel free to come here and escape.” he said. "I don't know what you were going through today up on that roof, but I really hope you understand how priceless your life is. The way I see it, we're all apart of this," he gestured towards his ceiling, "each of us, so small, make up a gigantic universe. Then one day, we just lose our light. For some, this may mean death, and for others it could mean we have just lost our way, and we need regain this beautiful light again. We are all needed to create something so out of this world." Even though Lillian couldn't see his face, she knew he was smiling. She could feel his tender kindness engulfing her. She thought it was touching how he could share something with her without actually knowing her.

She couldn't help, but to feel guilty. He had been nothing but nice to her, and she was ungrateful. He had saved her life for goodness sake, and she had yelled at him for it. She had taken his generosity as an annoyance. It wasn't until then that she had noticed that he simply cared about her. Harry had taken such an interest in her because he knew something wasn't right. She only felt it appropriate to share something with him as well.

“The first time it happened was when I was six,” Lillian started, shuttering at her weak, soft, American voice. She hated the way it sounded against his English accent.

“No one was home and he called me to his room. He smelled of strong whiskey and expensive cigars. He looked down at me and began to stroke my hair, telling me I was beautiful. Then he did something weird; he began to undress me. I winced at his touch but he said it was okay, he said it was normal. Being so young I believed him and let him do it. He told me no one could know. That night while I was crying Lakota came in to check on me and I told him everything. That was when we started to get really close,” Lillian said. She covered her mouth, surprised at how she let herself say so much. With him, she suddenly felt different. She felt trust. “I’ve never told anyone else besides Lakota,” she said more to herself.

Harry grew very quiet. He was processing the heart breaking story that had came from the poor girl's mouth. He was lost in thougtht. “Is that why you barely speak?”

“It’s not even the half of it,” she said. It felt like she was back with Lakota for the moment. She got a calming feeling from Harry that was unexplainable.

“Why did you tell me that,” he asked. He turned so that he was facing her. He strained his eyes in the darkness to try to find the whites of her eyes.

Lillian shrugged uncomfortably. She wasn't sure herself why she felt such a great need to tell him something personal. She could have shared anything, but she choose that significant story. Without that devesitating story, it is nearly impossible to understand the pitiful girl. “I’m not sure. I felt I owed it to you. You know a secret for a secret?”

Harry nooded in agreement. He let a few seconds pass before speaking again. “Fair enough, but you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to. You don’t even need to speak if you don’t want.”

“I can't promise that won't happen, but that’s just the thing. I want to talk, but it's nearly impossible. I haven’t been able to have a real conversation or even talk really.”

“Why is that,” he asked, but Lillian remained silent. “Next time then?”

“We’ll see,” Lillian whispered, a smile painted on her lips.

The two laid there for no longer than thirty minutes, admiring the stars, but it felt like hours. They didn't speak, but it didn't near awkwardness. It held purity and perfection. The silence is what kept them from turning a nice moment sour.

“You know, I like you Lillybeth and you’re American accent." Harry spoke out of a sleepy haze. His voice was nearing a raspy tone and his eyelids grew heavy.

“It’s Lilly." Lillian kindly reminded him of her name, disappointed that he had forgotten. Lillian had began to grow sleepy herself, but was frightened to return to her home. However, she knew that she had to soon. Otherwise, Landon would bring even more harm to Luke for no good reason.

“I know, but Lilly is just too ordinary, too Hannah Montana. You my dear, you are far from ordinary and no where near a Hannah Montana cast member,” he said with a laugh. Lillian let out a soft giggle aswell, but she didn't understand the need for a name change. She thought her real name, Lillian, would have sloved the problem, but didn't think it necessary to make her new nickname obsolete.

Three suddle knocks at Harry's bedroom disrupted the simple moment they were sharing together. It frightened them and caused them to jump a little. Harry ruffled his hair and scrabbled across the room. He shouted a quick "hold on", and slid a shirt over his head. He opened the door to find his mother, Anne, on the other end.

"Harry, sorry I am so late, but I stopped down the street to have chat with Mrs. McGuiness. She said that a girl had ranaway earlier. You wouldn't know anything about that would you?" She spoke in a calm tone that retained a smidge of concern. It wasn't until she was finished speaking that she had noticed Lillian.

"Oh! Harry, why didn't you tell me you had company." She playfully hit her son's arm. "And why is it so dark in here." She quickly flipped on the light. Light burst through the room, making the constalations suddenly seem dull and eventually disappear all together.

"I was showing her something." Harry gestured towards the projector. An embarassed smile came to his face. "I didn't think she would be coming over so late. Sorry." He stared down at his feet for a moment, trying to think of a way to change the subject.

"That's quite alright, Harry," she said, not wanting to scold him in front of company.

"Anyways," he drug the word out, "Mum, this is Lillian. Lillian, this is my mum." Harry gently pulled him mother closer to Lillian, closing the large gap between them. "She lives next door," Harry added.

"You're Lillian? Do you know that your brothers are worried sick about you?" Anne questioned her with shock. It may have came off as anger, but she was overly passionate.

Lillian noodded her head at Anne's questions. She bit her lip and felt slightly shameful. She hadn't realized that she had caused such a fuss from earlier. Lillian hadn't thought of the consequenses because she had't planned on this alternate decision instead of an ending. She felt guilty.

"Well, I think it would be best if you headed on home, but you are welcomed here. Please, just tell someone where you're going next time. I know that if Harry ever ran away like that, I'd be a complete mess. It was nice meeting you though." Anne shook Lillian's hand and gave her a inviting smile, before walking towards the door. "And Harry," she called. "When your friend leaves, we need to have a bit of a chat, yeah?"

"Of course, Mum," Harry called back with a cheeky grin.