Written Regrets
0004.
“She’s really beautiful.”
“I know. I have two eyes,” Brian said, “But she’s got a kid.”
Matt shrugged his shoulders, “So what?”
“Since when are you even interested in woman these days?” Brian questioned his best friend, turning to look at him for a short moment with one eyebrow raised, “I thought the only thing that interested you these days was booze and getting drunk.”
Matt groaned, shifting against the passenger seat in Brian’s black BMW. “I don’t need a fuckin’ lecture right now, man.”
“You’re right,” Brian agreed, “What you need is a damn wake up call. You’re drinking way too much these days, Matt. And what the fuck happened today? I get a call from you at five in the afternoon to find out you’ve been in a bar fight and you’re sitting in jail. I mean seriously, what the fuck is that about?”
“I’m sorry, okay! I fucked up, had too much to drink, and punch this dude next to me for being a total dick. I’ll fuckin’ pay you back.”
Brian shook his head, “That’s not the point.”
“Then what the fuck is your point?” Matt narrowed his eyes together in frustration.
“You need to stop drinking so damn much. That’s my fucking point! How do you expect us to tour in February if you don’t sober up? How are we supposed to play shows with you being irresponsible and drinking like you do?”
Matt rolled his eyes, “I’ll be fine. I’ll sober up before then, alright? But for now, we’re on break and I’ll drink if I fucking want to.”
Matt was sick of everyone telling him what he could or couldn’t do. He had lawyers and his soon to be ex-wife nagging about who gets the house and their dog and etc., and his band mates and management telling him to clean up his act because his drinking was getting out of hand, and he was fucking sick of it. He was a grown man for Christ sakes, and refused to be told what to do at that point. It was his life, and if he wanted to sit around drinking all day then he would.
When Brian pulled into Matt’s driveway, he sighed, “I’ll call you in a few days. Until then, try to stay out of trouble.”
“Whatever. Thanks for the ride.” Matt hastily climbed out of the vehicle and then slammed the car door shut behind him before heading to his front door. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his set of house keys before unlocking the door and stepping into the large quiet house.
He walked through the foyer, down the hallway and into the kitchen calling out for the yellow Labrador he called Bella. The dog came running towards him, barking with excitement once he reached the kitchen. He tossed his keys down onto the counter before crouching down to her level and petting her head.
“I bet you’re hungry, huh?” He murmured and then smiled when she barked.
Rising from the floor, he went over to a cabinet and pulled out the large bag of dry dog food and then took it over to her bowl and poured some for her eat. He barely had the bag rolled up and put away before Bella was already chopping down on the food.
Matt sighed and went over to the fridge next. Since he felt like shit from drinking earlier and sitting in jail for an hour, he decided to just grab a bottle of water. He twisted the cap off and then downed half the bottle before he was content and no longer thirsty.
Looking over at the clock on the microwave, he noticed it was nearly six o'clock. He headed upstairs to shower, knowing he had to smell, and when he was done and clean, he lied on the couch with Bella, staring aimlessly at the television screen, bored out of his mind.
Matt could no longer deny the fact that he was lonely. He missed having a partner who he could lay with and hold, and kiss and hug, and he missed sex. He wished that his marriage hadn’t gone sour and that he wasn’t getting a divorce, but Val was no longer the woman he wished to be with. He needed to find that one woman who is his other half, not someone he can barely stand to look at let alone speak to like Val.
Drawing in a deep breath, he leaned his head back against the couch and released it. He couldn’t stop thinking about Gabby. She was so beautiful and sweet, and she still had a spunky side to her that made Matt smile. He wondered why he felt so attracted to her, but he couldn’t help himself. And it didn’t necessarily bother him that she had a daughter. In fact, he thought the kid was pretty cute.
Matt was curious to know if she was single or not. He figured she most likely wasn’t since she had a kid, but then again it was a possibility that she was since there was a lot of single women with kids out in the world. He didn’t see a ring on her finger both times he saw her, so he knew she wasn’t married or even engaged for that matter.
He wasn’t all that sure why he was so interested in knowing, he just was, and he wondered if Brian would give him her number so he could call her. Of course he couldn’t just call him up now and ask since Brian seemed so frustrated and pissed at him, and Matt couldn’t blame him. He understood how Brian felt; he just didn’t care to change if he didn’t want to. Why did everyone care if he drank? He wasn’t an alcoholic and he didn’t drink constantly. Why couldn’t everyone just leave him alone?
With a heavy sigh, Matt closed his eyes and ran his hand across Bella’s fur, petting her as she napped with her head in his lap while she hogged most of the couch. Shifting against the leather slightly, he finally got comfortable enough to fall asleep.
“I know. I have two eyes,” Brian said, “But she’s got a kid.”
Matt shrugged his shoulders, “So what?”
“Since when are you even interested in woman these days?” Brian questioned his best friend, turning to look at him for a short moment with one eyebrow raised, “I thought the only thing that interested you these days was booze and getting drunk.”
Matt groaned, shifting against the passenger seat in Brian’s black BMW. “I don’t need a fuckin’ lecture right now, man.”
“You’re right,” Brian agreed, “What you need is a damn wake up call. You’re drinking way too much these days, Matt. And what the fuck happened today? I get a call from you at five in the afternoon to find out you’ve been in a bar fight and you’re sitting in jail. I mean seriously, what the fuck is that about?”
“I’m sorry, okay! I fucked up, had too much to drink, and punch this dude next to me for being a total dick. I’ll fuckin’ pay you back.”
Brian shook his head, “That’s not the point.”
“Then what the fuck is your point?” Matt narrowed his eyes together in frustration.
“You need to stop drinking so damn much. That’s my fucking point! How do you expect us to tour in February if you don’t sober up? How are we supposed to play shows with you being irresponsible and drinking like you do?”
Matt rolled his eyes, “I’ll be fine. I’ll sober up before then, alright? But for now, we’re on break and I’ll drink if I fucking want to.”
Matt was sick of everyone telling him what he could or couldn’t do. He had lawyers and his soon to be ex-wife nagging about who gets the house and their dog and etc., and his band mates and management telling him to clean up his act because his drinking was getting out of hand, and he was fucking sick of it. He was a grown man for Christ sakes, and refused to be told what to do at that point. It was his life, and if he wanted to sit around drinking all day then he would.
When Brian pulled into Matt’s driveway, he sighed, “I’ll call you in a few days. Until then, try to stay out of trouble.”
“Whatever. Thanks for the ride.” Matt hastily climbed out of the vehicle and then slammed the car door shut behind him before heading to his front door. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his set of house keys before unlocking the door and stepping into the large quiet house.
He walked through the foyer, down the hallway and into the kitchen calling out for the yellow Labrador he called Bella. The dog came running towards him, barking with excitement once he reached the kitchen. He tossed his keys down onto the counter before crouching down to her level and petting her head.
“I bet you’re hungry, huh?” He murmured and then smiled when she barked.
Rising from the floor, he went over to a cabinet and pulled out the large bag of dry dog food and then took it over to her bowl and poured some for her eat. He barely had the bag rolled up and put away before Bella was already chopping down on the food.
Matt sighed and went over to the fridge next. Since he felt like shit from drinking earlier and sitting in jail for an hour, he decided to just grab a bottle of water. He twisted the cap off and then downed half the bottle before he was content and no longer thirsty.
Looking over at the clock on the microwave, he noticed it was nearly six o'clock. He headed upstairs to shower, knowing he had to smell, and when he was done and clean, he lied on the couch with Bella, staring aimlessly at the television screen, bored out of his mind.
Matt could no longer deny the fact that he was lonely. He missed having a partner who he could lay with and hold, and kiss and hug, and he missed sex. He wished that his marriage hadn’t gone sour and that he wasn’t getting a divorce, but Val was no longer the woman he wished to be with. He needed to find that one woman who is his other half, not someone he can barely stand to look at let alone speak to like Val.
Drawing in a deep breath, he leaned his head back against the couch and released it. He couldn’t stop thinking about Gabby. She was so beautiful and sweet, and she still had a spunky side to her that made Matt smile. He wondered why he felt so attracted to her, but he couldn’t help himself. And it didn’t necessarily bother him that she had a daughter. In fact, he thought the kid was pretty cute.
Matt was curious to know if she was single or not. He figured she most likely wasn’t since she had a kid, but then again it was a possibility that she was since there was a lot of single women with kids out in the world. He didn’t see a ring on her finger both times he saw her, so he knew she wasn’t married or even engaged for that matter.
He wasn’t all that sure why he was so interested in knowing, he just was, and he wondered if Brian would give him her number so he could call her. Of course he couldn’t just call him up now and ask since Brian seemed so frustrated and pissed at him, and Matt couldn’t blame him. He understood how Brian felt; he just didn’t care to change if he didn’t want to. Why did everyone care if he drank? He wasn’t an alcoholic and he didn’t drink constantly. Why couldn’t everyone just leave him alone?
With a heavy sigh, Matt closed his eyes and ran his hand across Bella’s fur, petting her as she napped with her head in his lap while she hogged most of the couch. Shifting against the leather slightly, he finally got comfortable enough to fall asleep.