‹ Prequel: Dead And Gone
Status: Finished <3
Why Don't I Just Drop Dead?
2008-2009
August 16th, 2008
I have ten days until school. And I'm just a tad bit nervous. I don't know why, but I am. My brother is attending the same special school with me, as a freshman. I think that will be cool.
But before we start with any of that, I just want to say that the "close girl friend", and the "closest guy friend" are complete and total history. I don't know how I called them friends in the first place, but they are hopefully no longer part of my life, because they both hurt me to the extreme, man. They can't accept me for who I am, and only wanted me when I was completely dependent on them in order to survive. Now I don't need them, and they don't want me.
Just wanted to clear that up. But I guess I'm kind of nervous about the guys. I have become even more of a smart ass (much to my complete and utter surprise and enjoyment!), and I guess I'm kind of nervous that they'll hit on me.
Now I know, I know, two years ago I was complaining that I didn't even have a boyfriend yet. But guess what?
*leans in close* [whispers] I had my first kiss this summer with a guy I though was my first real real crush. [/whispers] *sits up straight*
I did NOT like the way it went, and I did NOT like the way he forced he tongue into my mouth. Not at all. I messaged him on myspace that night, and I told him that I did not want to be doing that kind of stuff with somebody who is not my boyfriend. The whole point of me doing this, was to see if he would ask me out.
*sighs* Unfortunately, I found out a couple days later that I had been completely used. He had told me that he liked me when I told him that I liked him, kissed me while I helplessly kissed him back, and then when he found out that I didn't want to do that unless we were "together", dropped me like a dead fly. I lost all of my respect for him when I found out he was dating this complete and total slut. The same one that had broken my brother's heart after he told her that he loved her. Not only once, bur fucking twice!
Now, I want nothing to do with guys until they can learn to grow the fuck up. And I guess because of this new found strength that I have when it comes to guys, I'm nervous, and maybe a little bit scared, of what I am going to do if something like that is dared to happen again.
I am still trying to change my appearance. Its become sort of a new born tradition for me to do something different with my physical appearance to show other people that I have changed and grown another year. This year, mom let me dye my tips blue, I am supposed to be getting my belly button peirced still, and I want my cartilage done in my right ear (it figures that the only time I'm not afraid of needles is when I want to change my appearance). haha. I want to get my lip pierced, but we all know that that is probably not going to happen.
Oh! And I lost some more weight! (No, I'm not anorexic, I just have an obsession with losing weight.) Probably not the best thing to say, but hey! Who am I doing this for, eh? Me or you?
Its not like I'm doing it to 'fit in', because I don't want to do that. Besides, the girls in my school are like a negative 3. *shakes head* That's a lie. Some are size 0's, and then 3/4 of the rest of them are between 1 and 5. I like the figure that I have now (um...somewhat?) I just don't want to gain it back, and with all of the food that I eat, it is very possible. Its not like I starve myself (ever day). I just excercise.
But yes. Now you are all caught up, for the most part. I have been working my butt off on these stupid summer reading projects that they gave us to do (there were 6 of them), now I'm racing against the clock to get them all done. Can we say procrastinator?
I can.
Procrastinator.
I have sworn to myself, though, to do more extra credit and work harder and shit, because I really want to be the first valedictorian of my school. (I forgot to mention that I will be the first to graduate from my high school, ever.) That has always been my dream, and it might all go down the drain because I got a friggen B in Culinary Arts for ONE semester. My GPA went from a 4.0 to a 3.5. How is it possible that one class can drop down my points by that much? *sighs* Oh well.
I told you before, but I will enlighten you again, that I am completely obsessed with being the best in my school. It's probably not healthy, but it is what it is.
Mission Statement for Year 11 - 2008-2009: Make it known throughout the whole school that I don't give a flying rats ass what they think or say, and that I am and always will be better then them. (And to get the highest grades I can.)
On Your Mark,
Get Set,
GO!
I have ten days until school. And I'm just a tad bit nervous. I don't know why, but I am. My brother is attending the same special school with me, as a freshman. I think that will be cool.
But before we start with any of that, I just want to say that the "close girl friend", and the "closest guy friend" are complete and total history. I don't know how I called them friends in the first place, but they are hopefully no longer part of my life, because they both hurt me to the extreme, man. They can't accept me for who I am, and only wanted me when I was completely dependent on them in order to survive. Now I don't need them, and they don't want me.
Just wanted to clear that up. But I guess I'm kind of nervous about the guys. I have become even more of a smart ass (much to my complete and utter surprise and enjoyment!), and I guess I'm kind of nervous that they'll hit on me.
Now I know, I know, two years ago I was complaining that I didn't even have a boyfriend yet. But guess what?
*leans in close* [whispers] I had my first kiss this summer with a guy I though was my first real real crush. [/whispers] *sits up straight*
I did NOT like the way it went, and I did NOT like the way he forced he tongue into my mouth. Not at all. I messaged him on myspace that night, and I told him that I did not want to be doing that kind of stuff with somebody who is not my boyfriend. The whole point of me doing this, was to see if he would ask me out.
*sighs* Unfortunately, I found out a couple days later that I had been completely used. He had told me that he liked me when I told him that I liked him, kissed me while I helplessly kissed him back, and then when he found out that I didn't want to do that unless we were "together", dropped me like a dead fly. I lost all of my respect for him when I found out he was dating this complete and total slut. The same one that had broken my brother's heart after he told her that he loved her. Not only once, bur fucking twice!
Now, I want nothing to do with guys until they can learn to grow the fuck up. And I guess because of this new found strength that I have when it comes to guys, I'm nervous, and maybe a little bit scared, of what I am going to do if something like that is dared to happen again.
I am still trying to change my appearance. Its become sort of a new born tradition for me to do something different with my physical appearance to show other people that I have changed and grown another year. This year, mom let me dye my tips blue, I am supposed to be getting my belly button peirced still, and I want my cartilage done in my right ear (it figures that the only time I'm not afraid of needles is when I want to change my appearance). haha. I want to get my lip pierced, but we all know that that is probably not going to happen.
Oh! And I lost some more weight! (No, I'm not anorexic, I just have an obsession with losing weight.) Probably not the best thing to say, but hey! Who am I doing this for, eh? Me or you?
Its not like I'm doing it to 'fit in', because I don't want to do that. Besides, the girls in my school are like a negative 3. *shakes head* That's a lie. Some are size 0's, and then 3/4 of the rest of them are between 1 and 5. I like the figure that I have now (um...somewhat?) I just don't want to gain it back, and with all of the food that I eat, it is very possible. Its not like I starve myself (ever day). I just excercise.
But yes. Now you are all caught up, for the most part. I have been working my butt off on these stupid summer reading projects that they gave us to do (there were 6 of them), now I'm racing against the clock to get them all done. Can we say procrastinator?
I can.
Procrastinator.
I have sworn to myself, though, to do more extra credit and work harder and shit, because I really want to be the first valedictorian of my school. (I forgot to mention that I will be the first to graduate from my high school, ever.) That has always been my dream, and it might all go down the drain because I got a friggen B in Culinary Arts for ONE semester. My GPA went from a 4.0 to a 3.5. How is it possible that one class can drop down my points by that much? *sighs* Oh well.
I told you before, but I will enlighten you again, that I am completely obsessed with being the best in my school. It's probably not healthy, but it is what it is.
Mission Statement for Year 11 - 2008-2009: Make it known throughout the whole school that I don't give a flying rats ass what they think or say, and that I am and always will be better then them. (And to get the highest grades I can.)
On Your Mark,
Get Set,
GO!
♠ ♠ ♠
So, I have decided so that I can get the most details out with this year, I will do it in little segments. Should I just add on to this chapter, or add a new chapter everytime I add something new?