It Hurts

I stood in the kitchen with sore legs as I stirred the spaghetti in the pan. I tried to keep myself from falling over as I cooked dinner for Jonas. He would be home soon. I knew he wouldn't be sober. He was supposed to be home four hours ago from work.

Dinner at nine was a norm around our house. Of course sometimes we would have occasions where we would eat at six, but those times were rare.

I would spend my morning readying for school, then at 12 I would go to school until 4 and then I would come home and wait for Jonas. If he wasn't home by six, I knew that would mean I had to make dinner and he would be home eventually. If I didn't make dinner on nights like that, he would be even more angry. Often, I just wished he would come home sooner so we could eat out like we did on those days when he wouldn't get high after work.

I heard the door being thrown open and I closed my eyes as I wished for it to be okay tonight. But like always, I knew it wouldn't. I quickly plated the spaghetti just as he walked into the kitchen. I tried not to look at him as I took the plates to the table. He grabbed my hair as I sat his plate down. I was face to face with him.

His normal gorgeous dark brown eyes didn't hold the care and safety that they did when we were younger. His dark caramel hair wasn't as shiny as it used to be. His sun-kissed skin lacked the luster it used to have. Jonas looked like a stranger. Sometimes, when he was angry I didn't call him Jonas because old Jonas would never do this to me. I called drugged out Jonas, Jones. They were two different people.

There was no smile on his face as he held me by my hair.

"Hi. How was your day sweetie?" I whispered in a gentle voice.

He pushed me away from him. "It was stupid. Like you."

I nodded and sat down at the table and began to eat my small plate of spaghetti.

When I was finished, so was Jonas. he was staring at me with a familiar glint in his eye. He walked over to me and pushed me into the wall as I got up. I didn't squirm. Without saying anything, I knew Jones was going to make his presence heavily known. He smacked my cheek with all the force he had. I bit my lip to keep from making noise. I didn't want it to get worse.

Jonas then proceeded to punch me in the stomach. Several times.

He threw me on the ground and kicked me several times to finish his beating of me.

With a roll of his eyes, he walked away.

I never blamed him for when Jones came out, his parents had died only a few months back in a plane crash and that can never be easy on anyone.

I loved him and when you love someone, you don't walk away.

No matter what.