Status: Anus.
Pull Out My Insides
Asher Hugo Ramsay
Here I sit, next to Zara, a few days after her due date. She groans again and shifts next to me.
"I can't get fucking comfortable!" she mutters under her breath.
"Is there something I could do to get you more comfortable..?" I ask nervously.
"Yeah, you can get this fucking baby out of me!" she groans.
"Well..." I start. "You know what the doctor said would help induce labor.."
"But I've tried pretty much everything that he said!"
"There was one thing you haven't tried..."
"Really? I've tried pretty much every fucking thing that he suggested and more that I found on the internet and nothing's working!"
"Well, there was one that you haven't tried."
"And which one was that, Asher?" she asks, rolling her eyes.
"Sex," I say shortly, shrugging.
Her jaw nearly drops to the ground and she slaps her forehead. "Of course! I always forget about that one!"
She stands up with a struggle and stares at me for a second. "Well, are you coming?" she asks.
I stare dumbfounded after her as she waddles to her bedroom, quickly following after her, dumbstruck.
-Some sexual intercourse and a day later-
"Asher," she whines from her seat next to me, looking up at me with her big puppy dog eyes.
"Zara," I mock her, pushing out my bottom lip.
"Asher, I'm bored," she whines in the same voice. "Wanna watch movies?" I suggest.
"I'll do anything at this point! Anything that doesn't require me getting up from this bed, that is."
"Movies is it."
A few minutes later, I return to her room with a few movies and pop one in.
"Don't tell me we're having a--" she begins.
"Johnny Depp marathon. Yep. And I saved the best for last."
"I am so glad you're my baby daddy, Asher."
"I'm glad that I got a girl as amazing as you as my baby mama, instead of the heartless vultures that we have the misfortune of fraternizing with."
"I'm glad that I have a caring guy instead of an immature pig that splits the minute my eggs are fertilized."
"Yeah, I only built up your trust, fell in love with you, and then betrayed your trust in one of the worst ways possible."
She lets out a sigh and pauses the movie, facing me. "Asher, I've decided to try and forgive you the best that I can and try to push what happened to the back of my mind, but I can't do that when you bring it up. So, hush, okay?" she explains.
I nod quickly. She turns back and turns Edward Scissorhands back on.
--Many hours and about 6 movies later--
I sigh as Zara once again demands that I rub her back, getting up, and making sure not to step on her Nutella covered popcorn or Sour Patch kids dunked in ranch and cheese as I rub her back.
"Okay, time for the last one," I exclaim a few minutes later.
"I think I know what that one is," she says happily, rubbing her belly and Batman, as I pop in the last movie.
She squeals girlishly and claps her hands as she hears the familiar starting credits.
"Fuck yes, Sweeney Todd!"
As the movie plays, I notice her face scrunch up somewhat consistently, but I wave it off and continue to watch the movie and hear her sing along to the songs I've heard many a time. As I hear my favorite song from the movie, I lowly sing along, and soon her voice mingles with mine, wrapping itself around my low voice with the cheery, high trill of her words, mimicking how Sweeney and Mrs. Lovett are singing in such a glorious harmony. Soon, nearly halfway through the movie, she grips my hand with an iron hold and stares me in the eye.
"Asher, go get my bag," she commands in a strained voice.
I just stare at her in confusion before it clicks in my mind and I rush to her closet to get her bag. It's time. After grabbing the bag, I dash back to Zara, taking her hand in mine and yanking her successfully off of the bed, shutting off the movie quickly and taking her to my car. I help her get into the car and run to the driver's seat, shoving the key into the ignition and speeding nearly all the way to the hospital. Thank God there are barely any cops on the roads right now. I rush her into the hospital and ask for a room.
The hours pass by as Zara's contractions grow stronger and quicker. Finally, the doctor proclaims that she is dilated enough and it's time for delivery. With her epidural, the pain is greatly alleviated and soon, a shrill cry follows the shouts of my... girlfriend? Zara gasps and falls down back onto the bed and loosens the hold on my hand. The nurse takes our wailing, red, wrinkly child in a blanket and starts to clean her off and take measurements, putting them down on her birth certificate. She walks over to us, the moment almost being in slow motion, and I lock my eyes onto the face of my newborn daughter and I comfortingly pet Zara's hair. The nurse walks over to where she was before.
"Alright, the afterbirth should be coming soon."
The minutes pass as Zara and I stare at the face of our daughter, already addicted to the drug of her presence. Suddenly, Zara's face scrunches up in pain yet again and I look at her, asking her if I should take the baby from her. She just nods and I carefully take the baby from her, supporting her gently in my arms, barely breathing, just staring at the tiny life in front of me, tangible in my arms. The nurse just nods to herself in understanding and looks up at us.
"Well, looks like there's one more to deliver."
Zara just looks flabbergasted and stares at me, face paling. "One more..." she whispers.
My face pales as well and before I can say anything, Zara screeches in pain and it startles the baby, causing her to start fussing. The nurse calls in the doctor and takes the baby so that I can help Zara again.
"It seems that the second was hiding behind it's sister," the doctor explains, looking at Zara's land down under.
"She's almost fully dilated again, it'll be time soon. I'll come back in about five minutes."
As Zara groans in pain and tears roll down her cheeks, I hold her hand and push back her hair. The five minutes pass too slowly and soon, the doctor is back in, his words of encouragement, telling Zara to push' barely break through my thoughts. Holy shit, another one. How the fuck are we going to do this?
Before I can think anything else, Zara crushes my hand with particularly great force and I wince, breaking out of my thoughts immediately.
"YOU FUCKING CUNTSICLE, DOUCHE TARP, FUCK FACE, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GOT ME PREGNANT WITH TWINS, YOU STUPID FUCKER! YOU JUST COULDN'T BE SATISFIED WITH ONE COULD YOU?!"
I nearly tell her that it's my sperm's fault, not mine in particular, but the glare on her face shuts me up and I just nod weakly and keep pushing her hair back from her face. Shortly after, another cry fills the room and Zara collapses onto the bed, tears streaming down her face and sweat drenching her head, barely even noticing the afterbirth. The nurse cleans up our second baby and does the same procedure as with it's sister, then carries the baby over to us.
"It's a boy," the nurse informs us with a smile. "Now, what are the names?"
I answer for our daughter. "Our daughter's name is Astrid Johanna Ramsay," I tell her, also informing the nurse of how to spell it.
Zara thinks for a minute. "And our son is Patrick Benjamin Ramsay."
The nurse nods and takes down the names, asking us to fill out the rest of the certificates and sign them. Zara takes Patrick in her arms and I take our little girl in mine, staring at the little face, peacefully sleeping. It's so surreal, to think that the child--children--we've been waiting for months are actually here, and they depend on us completely. So surreal. Soon, family and friends file into the room to meet the babies; by the time the hour has passed, each twin has been held by everyone at least once. Soon, nightfalls again and everyone leaves to sleep, but I stay with Zara and the babies.
"Hey, Zara?" I ask the silent figure in her dark hospital room.
"Yeah?" she answers after a second.
"Are you scared?"
"Terrified. You?"
"Same. So how'd you think of the name? I think it suits him perfectly though."
"Well, I got Patrick from 10 Things I Hate About You because I love that movie so much and it reminds me of my child, plus it's my brother's middle name, and I got Benjamin from Sweeney Todd. Benjamin Barker was Sweeney's real name."
"I like it."
In the middle of the night, Patrick awakens and I hear Zara get up and tend to him. After a few minutes, he quiets down and I hear her walking back to her bed, and I can tell that she's carrying him from the vague outline in the dark room. The next moments are silent. She starts humming suddenly, a tune I recognize easily.
"Nothing's gonna harm you, not while I'm around.
Nothing's gonna harm you, no sir, not while I'm around.
Demons are prowling everywhere, nowadays,
I'll send 'em howling,
I don't care, I got ways.
No one's gonna hurt you,
No one's gonna dare.
Others can desert you,
Not to worry, whistle, I'll be there.
Demons'll charm you with a smile, for a while,
But in time...
Nothing can harm you
Not while I'm around...
Not to worry, not to worry,
I may not be smart but I ain't dumb.
I can do it, put me to it,
Show me something I can overcome.
Not to worry, ma'am...
Being close and being clever
Ain't like being true
I don't need to,
I would never hide a thing from you,
Like some...
Nothing's gonna harm you, not while I'm around.
Nothing's gonna harm you, darlin',
Not while I'm around...
Demons'll charm you with a smile, for a while,
But in time...
Nothing's gonna harm you,
Not while I'm around..."
As her voice fades, my mind drifts off and I submit into the dark abyss of sleep, my thoughts already being taken captive by my children.
"I can't get fucking comfortable!" she mutters under her breath.
"Is there something I could do to get you more comfortable..?" I ask nervously.
"Yeah, you can get this fucking baby out of me!" she groans.
"Well..." I start. "You know what the doctor said would help induce labor.."
"But I've tried pretty much everything that he said!"
"There was one thing you haven't tried..."
"Really? I've tried pretty much every fucking thing that he suggested and more that I found on the internet and nothing's working!"
"Well, there was one that you haven't tried."
"And which one was that, Asher?" she asks, rolling her eyes.
"Sex," I say shortly, shrugging.
Her jaw nearly drops to the ground and she slaps her forehead. "Of course! I always forget about that one!"
She stands up with a struggle and stares at me for a second. "Well, are you coming?" she asks.
I stare dumbfounded after her as she waddles to her bedroom, quickly following after her, dumbstruck.
-Some sexual intercourse and a day later-
"Asher," she whines from her seat next to me, looking up at me with her big puppy dog eyes.
"Zara," I mock her, pushing out my bottom lip.
"Asher, I'm bored," she whines in the same voice. "Wanna watch movies?" I suggest.
"I'll do anything at this point! Anything that doesn't require me getting up from this bed, that is."
"Movies is it."
A few minutes later, I return to her room with a few movies and pop one in.
"Don't tell me we're having a--" she begins.
"Johnny Depp marathon. Yep. And I saved the best for last."
"I am so glad you're my baby daddy, Asher."
"I'm glad that I got a girl as amazing as you as my baby mama, instead of the heartless vultures that we have the misfortune of fraternizing with."
"I'm glad that I have a caring guy instead of an immature pig that splits the minute my eggs are fertilized."
"Yeah, I only built up your trust, fell in love with you, and then betrayed your trust in one of the worst ways possible."
She lets out a sigh and pauses the movie, facing me. "Asher, I've decided to try and forgive you the best that I can and try to push what happened to the back of my mind, but I can't do that when you bring it up. So, hush, okay?" she explains.
I nod quickly. She turns back and turns Edward Scissorhands back on.
--Many hours and about 6 movies later--
I sigh as Zara once again demands that I rub her back, getting up, and making sure not to step on her Nutella covered popcorn or Sour Patch kids dunked in ranch and cheese as I rub her back.
"Okay, time for the last one," I exclaim a few minutes later.
"I think I know what that one is," she says happily, rubbing her belly and Batman, as I pop in the last movie.
She squeals girlishly and claps her hands as she hears the familiar starting credits.
"Fuck yes, Sweeney Todd!"
As the movie plays, I notice her face scrunch up somewhat consistently, but I wave it off and continue to watch the movie and hear her sing along to the songs I've heard many a time. As I hear my favorite song from the movie, I lowly sing along, and soon her voice mingles with mine, wrapping itself around my low voice with the cheery, high trill of her words, mimicking how Sweeney and Mrs. Lovett are singing in such a glorious harmony. Soon, nearly halfway through the movie, she grips my hand with an iron hold and stares me in the eye.
"Asher, go get my bag," she commands in a strained voice.
I just stare at her in confusion before it clicks in my mind and I rush to her closet to get her bag. It's time. After grabbing the bag, I dash back to Zara, taking her hand in mine and yanking her successfully off of the bed, shutting off the movie quickly and taking her to my car. I help her get into the car and run to the driver's seat, shoving the key into the ignition and speeding nearly all the way to the hospital. Thank God there are barely any cops on the roads right now. I rush her into the hospital and ask for a room.
The hours pass by as Zara's contractions grow stronger and quicker. Finally, the doctor proclaims that she is dilated enough and it's time for delivery. With her epidural, the pain is greatly alleviated and soon, a shrill cry follows the shouts of my... girlfriend? Zara gasps and falls down back onto the bed and loosens the hold on my hand. The nurse takes our wailing, red, wrinkly child in a blanket and starts to clean her off and take measurements, putting them down on her birth certificate. She walks over to us, the moment almost being in slow motion, and I lock my eyes onto the face of my newborn daughter and I comfortingly pet Zara's hair. The nurse walks over to where she was before.
"Alright, the afterbirth should be coming soon."
The minutes pass as Zara and I stare at the face of our daughter, already addicted to the drug of her presence. Suddenly, Zara's face scrunches up in pain yet again and I look at her, asking her if I should take the baby from her. She just nods and I carefully take the baby from her, supporting her gently in my arms, barely breathing, just staring at the tiny life in front of me, tangible in my arms. The nurse just nods to herself in understanding and looks up at us.
"Well, looks like there's one more to deliver."
Zara just looks flabbergasted and stares at me, face paling. "One more..." she whispers.
My face pales as well and before I can say anything, Zara screeches in pain and it startles the baby, causing her to start fussing. The nurse calls in the doctor and takes the baby so that I can help Zara again.
"It seems that the second was hiding behind it's sister," the doctor explains, looking at Zara's land down under.
"She's almost fully dilated again, it'll be time soon. I'll come back in about five minutes."
As Zara groans in pain and tears roll down her cheeks, I hold her hand and push back her hair. The five minutes pass too slowly and soon, the doctor is back in, his words of encouragement, telling Zara to push' barely break through my thoughts. Holy shit, another one. How the fuck are we going to do this?
Before I can think anything else, Zara crushes my hand with particularly great force and I wince, breaking out of my thoughts immediately.
"YOU FUCKING CUNTSICLE, DOUCHE TARP, FUCK FACE, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GOT ME PREGNANT WITH TWINS, YOU STUPID FUCKER! YOU JUST COULDN'T BE SATISFIED WITH ONE COULD YOU?!"
I nearly tell her that it's my sperm's fault, not mine in particular, but the glare on her face shuts me up and I just nod weakly and keep pushing her hair back from her face. Shortly after, another cry fills the room and Zara collapses onto the bed, tears streaming down her face and sweat drenching her head, barely even noticing the afterbirth. The nurse cleans up our second baby and does the same procedure as with it's sister, then carries the baby over to us.
"It's a boy," the nurse informs us with a smile. "Now, what are the names?"
I answer for our daughter. "Our daughter's name is Astrid Johanna Ramsay," I tell her, also informing the nurse of how to spell it.
Zara thinks for a minute. "And our son is Patrick Benjamin Ramsay."
The nurse nods and takes down the names, asking us to fill out the rest of the certificates and sign them. Zara takes Patrick in her arms and I take our little girl in mine, staring at the little face, peacefully sleeping. It's so surreal, to think that the child--children--we've been waiting for months are actually here, and they depend on us completely. So surreal. Soon, family and friends file into the room to meet the babies; by the time the hour has passed, each twin has been held by everyone at least once. Soon, nightfalls again and everyone leaves to sleep, but I stay with Zara and the babies.
"Hey, Zara?" I ask the silent figure in her dark hospital room.
"Yeah?" she answers after a second.
"Are you scared?"
"Terrified. You?"
"Same. So how'd you think of the name? I think it suits him perfectly though."
"Well, I got Patrick from 10 Things I Hate About You because I love that movie so much and it reminds me of my child, plus it's my brother's middle name, and I got Benjamin from Sweeney Todd. Benjamin Barker was Sweeney's real name."
"I like it."
In the middle of the night, Patrick awakens and I hear Zara get up and tend to him. After a few minutes, he quiets down and I hear her walking back to her bed, and I can tell that she's carrying him from the vague outline in the dark room. The next moments are silent. She starts humming suddenly, a tune I recognize easily.
"Nothing's gonna harm you, not while I'm around.
Nothing's gonna harm you, no sir, not while I'm around.
Demons are prowling everywhere, nowadays,
I'll send 'em howling,
I don't care, I got ways.
No one's gonna hurt you,
No one's gonna dare.
Others can desert you,
Not to worry, whistle, I'll be there.
Demons'll charm you with a smile, for a while,
But in time...
Nothing can harm you
Not while I'm around...
Not to worry, not to worry,
I may not be smart but I ain't dumb.
I can do it, put me to it,
Show me something I can overcome.
Not to worry, ma'am...
Being close and being clever
Ain't like being true
I don't need to,
I would never hide a thing from you,
Like some...
Nothing's gonna harm you, not while I'm around.
Nothing's gonna harm you, darlin',
Not while I'm around...
Demons'll charm you with a smile, for a while,
But in time...
Nothing's gonna harm you,
Not while I'm around..."
As her voice fades, my mind drifts off and I submit into the dark abyss of sleep, my thoughts already being taken captive by my children.
♠ ♠ ♠
Well, that's the end. Not really. There's an epilogue. Sorry, I've never been through childbirth or anything since I'm only 15 (not even, I turn 15 in 3 days), so I don't know much about it, so sorry if it's incorrect information. I haven't had much time to write because my friend's been here and I never have time to write. We went to Vans Warped Tour and I would tell you all about it, but I'm tired as balls and my eyeballs are about to fall out, so I'll just put my favorite picture that I took of Bert McCracken. I saw All Time Low (btw, Alex's hair was dyed pink, or at least some was), Mayday Parade, Pierce The Veil, Taking Back Sunday (and got a picture with the lead singer), and a bunch of other bands that I can't think of right now.