Baby, you don't have to be alone

-Ryker-

She fucked me over.

That stupid, annoying, beautiful girl had come in and fucked me up.

I came into high school with a leather jacket and a bad attitude. And every single girl ate it up.

I didn’t really want to be, but they placed me on this pedestal, high above everyone else, and let me rule. I winked, and girls giggled. I smirked and they got naked.

Along with the panty-dropping superpower came the fear. I kicked some junior guy’s ass when I was a freshman and every guy feared me. Except Gage and Grayson. They knew what was under all of the smirks and punches. Besides my mom and little brother, they were the only ones I kept close. And I was going to keep it that way.

Until Harper came along.

She had no idea, but she came into my life like a hurricane and rearranged everything. I didn’t even see it until it hit me in the face like a baseball bat.

WHAM!

I don’t know how she did it, but she had dug her way through all of my walls and took them all down. She destroyed them.

She’s not stupid. Not at all. She’s sharp and witty and always has an answer to my sarcastic remarks. She also has this smile. It’s very rare, but when it comes out, it’s like you’re looking directly in the sun. And when she’s mad, her hazel eyes flash more green than brown.

I understood that now more than ever.

I don’t know why I let it all get to me. It was that damn Jenna girl who put it in my head. It wasn’t even true! She was just mad that I didn’t want her because apparently every boy wants Jenna Lamen.

I was at a party, Harper was in the other room talking with her friend Summer, when Jenna came up to me. She was drunk and sloppy but she thought she was a fucking goddess. I finally just told her to leave me alone and she got angry. No one ever says no to Jenna. She told me I was whipped, how Harper was out fucking other guys while I was kept in the dark, looking like an idiot.

Maybe it was the alcohol, but I believed her. And no one made a fool out of Ryker. I was the one who was supposed to be fucking 5 girls at once while I kept another on the side. Totally, helplessly wrapped up in our own little fairytale.

I needed to do something. I needed to hurt her as badly as she hurt me.

So I grabbed her, taking her away from Summer and dragging her into the room upstairs. I told her she was beautiful, that she was the most amazing girl I had ever met. Which was all true. I said all those things honestly, I just used them in a dirty way.

I took from her. I took the one thing that she believed was really special and I made it dirty, impure. The next day I broke it off with her, in front of everyone at school. Saying how she was immature and I needed someone else. Someone better.

I thought that seeing her eyes flash that bright shade of green, and her rare smile become cloudy would help me. Would make me feel better.

I was wrong, so wrong.

She didn’t look at me for the rest of the year and this strange, unfamiliar feeling of guilt was eating me up. By the end of the year, I’m pretty sure it had consumed everything I had.

I wanted her back. I wanted to hear her laugh so much that she snorted. I wanted to look into those eyes and see the perfect blend of green and brown. I wanted to feel her soft, blonde hair run through my fingers.

I wanted that smile.

But she was gone, and it wrecked me. I drank more, smoked more, and slept less. I let one girl come after the other, only allowing them to stay for one night before I moved on.

Grayson and Gage tried to help me, steer me off this dangerous path. But I was hooked. I had found the old Ryker and the feeling of comfort and familiarity it gave me was the only thing I could hold onto.

But it’s a new year, and she’s back. Bringing back everything that I’m scared of and so desperately need.