Perfectly Dysfunctional

It ended up that we were taken to hospital, and all eight of us (including the driver) were extremely lucky to be escaping with nothing but bruises, cuts and scratches, and Max’s head injury. Nareesha and Siva went off for a little while whilst the rest of us were checked up, and everything was fine. We were warned about post-traumatic stress, and were told that we’d all probably get it within the next week at least – which was extremely bad for me, but I figured, y’know, whatever, worse things have happened to me. The band were advised to put off the last few dates of the tour but they didn't want to listen to that particular piece of advice, so the doctors were happy with telling the boys to take it easy throughout it and making an appointment for them to come back when the tour was over just to check they were okay.

The hospital insisted on keeping the eight of us in overnight but we were discharged the next morning. Jayne had been called and they’d had to drop everything at the hotel that she’d had to book everyone into last night and come to pick us up. The bus driver had decided to find out what was really wrong with the bus, and hopped in a cab to meet up with the guy who would be replacing him for the duration of the tour. We took it upon ourselves to wait out the twenty five minutes it was going to take Jayne to get here outside as we needed the fresh air. Nareesha and Siva were sitting on a bench talking quietly to each other. Jay was on the phone to someone who I was sure was his mother with Tom texting a few feet away from him, and Max was sitting on another bench with his head lolled back and was lazily holding his hand to where his wound was. I was sitting on the concrete throwing small stones around me and ripping up small clumps of grass out of sheer boredom, and Nathan was pacing around me.

It had been on my mind ever since I woke up from blacking out for a few moments when the bus crashed, and I decided that I really needed to know, so looked up just as Nathan walked by me. “Nath?”

“Yeah, what’s up?” He stopped in front of me and kneeled down, putting his hands on my knees to keep himself balanced. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah, I feel fine... It’s just... I was wondering why you said what you did before the bus crashed. Y’know, ‘why can’t we catch a break’?”

He inhaled, nodded, and then exhaled again. “To be honest with you, I have no idea.”

I nodded and sighed as I looked down again, resting my head back onto my knees well aware his hands were still there, “Okay.” We were quiet for a moment before I took a breath and just went for it, “So, remember when I was in hospital the first time?” I asked without looking up at him, still with my head resting on my knees and his hands.

“What about it?”

“Just before I woke up... I heard you all talking about something. Well, more like someone...” I looked up at him and his face had lost a little colour.

“Really, who were we talking about?”

“Well, that’s the thing, I don’t know... But I have a feeling that you all know more about what happened that night than I do, and that none of you are telling me.” I said quietly and stared to the ground. I was beginning to wish I hadn’t lifted my head from my knees at all.

“What do you mean? Of course we don’t know more than you do...” he said, but his words didn’t reach his eyes and I got a little pissed, “If we did we’d have told you by now.” He said quietly. I felt it right then in my stomach, my anger, because I knew he was lying to me.

I paused as I stared at him for a few moments, “Okay,” I said, then put my head back onto his hands on my knees.

He sighed quietly, “So why do I get the feeling you’re pissed with me?”

“Well funnily enough, you’re getting that feeling because I am pissed at you!” I said as I stood up. He fell back onto his heels and quickly put his hands behind him to stop him totally falling on his arse. His eyes were a little wide and he rushed to stand up.

“Why? What’ve I done?”

“You’re lying to me!” I yelled.

“What? I am not!” He stood up for himself.

To my utter disgust I started to cry. He looked alarmed and torn. Good. “Stop lying to me! I know you know who shot me! So why won’t you just fucking tell me?!”

“What makes you say that? How could you even know?”

“I know because I heard you! Weren’t you bloody listening to me?!”

His face lost all colour and I heard his breath catch in his throat. By this point Max had made his way over with an apprehensive look on his face, “Is everything alright?” he asked.

“No, it’s not. Max,” I said turning to face him, “You remember the first time I was in hospital, right?” I’d tried to calm my voice down even though I knew he’d also lied to me – they all had – but it still managed to come out a little heated. I watched as he nodded and went to glance at Nathan. “No, don’t look at him, look at me. Right, so you were all talking just before I woke up...” I trailed off, leaving the statement as a question he could answer; he nodded and I narrowed my eyes, “Who were you talking about?”