Marching On

Lavin pressed the bone-china teacup to her lips, taking a sip and returning the cup to its saucer. She sat at the dining room table. Her tea was a light morning blend and she took it with a splash of cream and two sugars.

She turned her head to see out of the large French windows, resting it on one hand. Across the lawn of Clarence House she could see the trees from the street swaying in the breeze. There were still clouds in the sky, but the rain had passed.

Her eyes lost focus as she daydreamed. About what today would bring; about last night; about her family; about Harry...

"Lavin?"

She turned her head to Harry's voice. He was standing in the doorway wearing pajama bottoms and a wrinkled t-shirt; his hair was mussed, but he looked well-rested.

"Morning," she said, grinning.

"How long've you been up?" he asked, ruffling his hand over the top of his hair.

"Since six," she told him.

Together their eyes found the grandfather clock that stood at the front of the room. Its face read nine forty-six.

"You should have woke me up," Harry said, taking a seat at the table and pouring a cup of tea.

Lavin shrugged. "The only reason I got up was because my mother called me."

Harry's eyes widened. "Your mother?" he whispered into to the tiny cup before taking a taste.

Lavin nodded.

"What did she say?"

"She wants me back in Denmark tomorrow. No exceptions."

Harry's eyes lifted to hers. "She wants you home tomorrow?"

Lavin nodded again. "Did you expect anything else? I've been MIA for a little over a week now. I'm surprised they haven't sent out a search party."

Harry's mouth tugged into a shallow smile as he added sugar to his tea.

"What do you want to do today? Last day in England," he said, swirling a silver spoon around and around.

"Ehmmm. . ." Lavin rumbled, tapping her lips with the pads of her fingers. "I think I'm going to visit William."

"William?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Feels like something I should do," she told him, shrugging. Harry's exasperated face made her continue, "I promise it won't take too long. I want to spend the rest of my day with you."

"Sure."

"I promise!" Lavin exclaimed, extending her pinky out to him. "I pinky promise that I, Lavinia, will be back within a couple of hours to spend the rest of the day with you, Henry, before I leave the country."

Harry linked his pinky with hers.

"Fine," he said, fighting a smile.

"Thank you," Lavin said, leaning to kiss him on the cheek.

___

Lavin sat on a bench by the round pond of Kensington Gardens while William rooted around the shore for stones. She sat with her knees pulled into her chest. Lavin watched as a couple of geese swam past.

"So, what's up?" he asked, picking up a flat, smooth stone and tossing it into the watter. It skipped several times before sinking.

"When did you first realize you were the heir?" she asked.

William sat beside her.

"I sort of knew there was something special about my life." William gave her a sideways glance accompanied by a smirk. "But the point was really driven home the day when Harry and I got into our first fist fight."

"Oh really?"

Lavin couldn't help but laugh.

"Harry was six. I was eight. He was teasing me about how he could be anything he wanted to be. That week, at least, he was dead set on being a chef. Mom and Dad had bought him a chef's hat and fake food toys to play with; I had on my police uniform on and came to visit Harry at his restaurant, which was in the corner of his bedroom."

William clasped his hands in front of him.

"Harry narrowed his eyes and told me I couldn't be a policeman. It went back and forth; me defending myself and him shouting that I had to be king."

William chortled at the memory.

"I got so mad that I jumped on him. Tackled him straight to the floor and just started beating on him. And--I'll only admit this to you--he was a lot stronger than me . . . and he flipped us over and just starting punching.

"We were screaming and yelling at each other. Pulling hair, pinching, kicking, anything to best the other. Finally, our parents pulled us away from each other. Dad grabbed me round the middle, Mom grabbed him. They sat us on opposite ends of the couch and sat together looking the maddest I've ever seen them.

"They explained that we can't do that. We're too precious to them and all that nonsense, but I remember how furious they were at Harry. They yelled at both of us, but more so at him."

Lavin was staring at William, eyes wide with surprise.

"I think Harry and I found out what our place in life was that day. While we were both important, I was just a little more important than him. I hated it so much for a long time. I hated that my life was planned before I was even born and that I really couldn't be anything I wanted. You know--"

"A privileged life with no wiggle room," Lavin said.

William nodded. "Yep. So, from that day on, we both knew that he was the spare and I was the heir. How about you? What's your harrowing tale?"

Lavin turned to face William. "Did you know I was never supposed to be queen?"

"No," William said, shaking his head. "Really?"

"Yeah, the government got nervous after I was born. Mother and father didn't seem like they could have another baby; and my grandparents did not want the crown to fall into Uncle Grant's hands. They passed absolute primogeniture into the Danish line of succession in 1987 just a year before Ben was born.

"I was just one year shy of avoiding all of this. It would have gone to Ben and our lives would have been very different."

"I see," William said, tapping his knuckles against the wooden bench. "So, once that happened everything changed?"

"Absolutely," she said. "I knew there was always something different about me. I mean, no one else had bodyguards and I had to skip my friend's birthday party for my first public engagement with my parents."

"Know the feeling," William murmured.

"Are you afraid?"

"Of being king?"

"Yeah."

"Sure. It means losing two people that I love very much. It means sacrificing everything for others. The job may not be as cruel as it was a long time ago, but it's still tough."

William stood, motioning for Lavin to follow him. They continued down the path farther into Kensington Gardens.

"Why are you asking me this, Lavin?" he asked. "You have the same insight on what it's like to be the heir.

"I know," she sighed. "I know."

Lavin stuffed her hands into her pockets.

"What I really should be asking you is what it's like to finally be queen." William said.

"Are you really asking me?" Lavin asked.

"Yep."

"Well, so far, it's terrible. I go through my father dying and then I'm immediately thrown into the job; and, it's not like I don't know what I'm doing...essentially, I know the basics. But, meeting after meeting with men and women that are exponentially more experienced than I am; I feel so inferior. Even after all the years of schooling and lessons I feel like a fraud.

"I've had twenty-six years of getting ready for this and I just lost my mind. I had the feeling of the floor falling from underneath me. I asked for a two week break to deal with my father's death and all this new responsibility. I ran away to my manor and I had a mental breakdown which is why I went to America."
___

William bit his tongue at the mention of America. He wanted to know what happened, but knew that there was something of greater importance.

"A mental breakdown, Lavin?"

Lavin nodded, laughing hesitantly.

"Like how?"

"Oh, you know, the usual stuff, I guess," Lavin told him.

He made eye contact, bemused and concerned.

Lavin bit the inside of her cheek. "I locked myself in the manor. There was a lot of crying, a lot of drinking, and a lot of solitude. If it hadn't been for Tom's invitation to New York I probably wouldn't have left.

"I missed my father. . . and Harry. I lost the two most important men in my life in a very short time, Will. I couldn't bear it. I couldn't handle the fake smile I had to put on for everyone."

Her voice caught in her throat and she sucked in a huge breathe of air, fighting back tears. William placed his hand on her back and pulled her into a simple hug.

"It's very hard to lose a parent, Lavin. But, it does get easier."

Lavin nodded. "I sure hope so."

"There is one positive to think about though."

Lavin looked at him. "What's that?"

"You have Harry back."

Lavin smiled, looping her arm through his. "I do."

William felt content, knowing that the old Lavinia was back; the girl who had the confidence to run a country and to love his brother.