Stare and Wonder

My body kept moving, not being able to stand still. I couldn't stop thinking about what they were doing, couldn't stop myself from being on the verge of tears.
It killed me to imagine her filthy hands on him, touching what I had been fighting for, for years now. He seemed oblivious to it though. In his eyes I was just his friend, his buddy.
I wonder if he had ever stop to think:
"I like her smile" or "She has pretty eyes".

Some years ago he still cared enough to say "You look nice today," nowadays he didn't even notice me much.
She, she was all he could think of.
And still, everytime I closed my eyes he was all I could see. I wonder how things would be if she had never been born. Would he love me? Would he want me? I just wanted to forget it all and fall into a deep sleep. I always prefered dreams to reality.
Close your eyes, just dream, Jordan Blake's voice resounded in my head.

Warm started to spread over my body, which was tightly curled in the sheets; sleep really slowly starting to take over. My eyes were already becoming heavy and kept closing everytime I opened them.
Just has my breathing started to deepen, the creaking sound of the front door echoed through the house.
Her.
The sleepyness went away at a blink of an eye.

Glancing at my clock I got to know it was 1 am. If it had been me, there would be hell to pay, but no, it was her. My mother's little princess. In the max she would run to her next morning wanting details.
"Your sister is beatiful, all boys want her."
I see no proud in being a slutty STD carrier's mom. But that's me. There wasn't much we agreed on. It was more the other way around.

A knot built up inside me. What had they been doing for so long? What had taken them so much time?
My heart was in my shaky hands as I kicked the covers off my body and quietly made my way to the stairs, doing my best to not make a nose while opening the door.

"I loved tonight. Had so much fun," my sister's low whisper met my ears. I could almost sense the seductive and suggestive smirk in her voice.
"So did I. I'm glad you enjoyed it."
By now I was standing mere mettres away from them, hiding in the shadows to not be seen.
It was apparent she had him at her feet. He was willing to take whatever he could get.
"I'll see you Monday Mattie."
Jealousy burned inside me as I watched her fingers graze over his toned chest. What I wouldn't give to touch it.
He stuttered his words at her subtil teasing "Wh-Why Monday? Can't I see you tomorrow or something?"
"I'm sorry honey, I'm a busy girl."

Before I had time to even imagine myself taking that satisfied smirk from her face, she was placing her lips on his, instantly getting an answer from him.
Can you say loser? Well I can, and that's what I was now. For sure.
"Goodnight Mattie," she grinned as they finally broke their making out session.
"G'night Lilly."