I can't control myself because I don't know how...
Failure just isn't Possible.
“Come on Gerard” Mikey shouted me over to the others. I slowly walked over counting my steps.
“13” I whispered.
“What? 13?” Bob asked.
“Oh nothing” I replied. They all looked a bit confused and I could tell they knew something was up with me. I just looked at my feet.
“Anyways Guys” Ray said. “I have an idea for a new song. It’s that…” He carried on talking but my thoughts moved out of the situation.
“So, do you like that?” Ray asked me.
“Yeah, sounds good I suppose.” I mumbled and walked off towards the door.
“Where you going dude?” Frank shouted after me.
“I need some air.” I replied as I wiped a tear from my eye. Yes, I was crying and I hated it. I couldn’t stop. I didn’t know if I was going to see those guys ever again. The next two hours I spent wandering the streets of New Jersey. I turned off my cell phone and threw it into a trash can.
At the top if a hill there was an old rundown house that had been abandoned years ago and that’s where I went to get away from it all. Up there the air was clean and my thoughts were clear.
I thought through everything. My life, my friends, the so called ‘music business’. I couldn’t keep it going any longer. It was all flying through my head at 100mph and I couldn’t control it. The biggest part of me wanted to end it all today but there was a small part of me saying “No, its okay. You will get through it.”
After a few minutes of contemplation the strongest side took over. I had to finish it all. There was no way I could get through it whilst I was still here, living each day. Now was the time to leave. I bet no one would notice I was gone for a while. Nobody comes around here much, except me and in a few minutes I would be gone forever.
“Fuck You World.” I shouted. Tears were now streaming down my face. “I can’t take this shit that you’re throwing at me anymore!” I frantically rubbed my eyes. I said my goodbyes. I knew that there was no one listening but I felt like it was necessary. “I though that I was needed. But obviously not.” I said and jumped. I fell.
The fall felt beautiful and I felt in control of it all for a few seconds. BAM.
“13” I whispered.
“What? 13?” Bob asked.
“Oh nothing” I replied. They all looked a bit confused and I could tell they knew something was up with me. I just looked at my feet.
“Anyways Guys” Ray said. “I have an idea for a new song. It’s that…” He carried on talking but my thoughts moved out of the situation.
“So, do you like that?” Ray asked me.
“Yeah, sounds good I suppose.” I mumbled and walked off towards the door.
“Where you going dude?” Frank shouted after me.
“I need some air.” I replied as I wiped a tear from my eye. Yes, I was crying and I hated it. I couldn’t stop. I didn’t know if I was going to see those guys ever again. The next two hours I spent wandering the streets of New Jersey. I turned off my cell phone and threw it into a trash can.
At the top if a hill there was an old rundown house that had been abandoned years ago and that’s where I went to get away from it all. Up there the air was clean and my thoughts were clear.
I thought through everything. My life, my friends, the so called ‘music business’. I couldn’t keep it going any longer. It was all flying through my head at 100mph and I couldn’t control it. The biggest part of me wanted to end it all today but there was a small part of me saying “No, its okay. You will get through it.”
After a few minutes of contemplation the strongest side took over. I had to finish it all. There was no way I could get through it whilst I was still here, living each day. Now was the time to leave. I bet no one would notice I was gone for a while. Nobody comes around here much, except me and in a few minutes I would be gone forever.
“Fuck You World.” I shouted. Tears were now streaming down my face. “I can’t take this shit that you’re throwing at me anymore!” I frantically rubbed my eyes. I said my goodbyes. I knew that there was no one listening but I felt like it was necessary. “I though that I was needed. But obviously not.” I said and jumped. I fell.
The fall felt beautiful and I felt in control of it all for a few seconds. BAM.