I can't control myself because I don't know how...

OK, so it didn’t go to plan. Sure, I’ve broken a few bones but the fall wasn’t strong enough to kill me. I should have put more thought into it, planned it a bit more. Still, there’s always tomorrow but I feel from now on I will be watched at all times. I wonder what the world thinks of me now. I used to be the role model and the spokes person for so many people. Now I seem weak and frail. I will never be seen the same again. I always told people that everything would be ok again, they just had to push through it and here I am, lying in a hospital bed when only a few hours ago I was falling from a cliff. I had nothing to say to anyone. I blocked it all out. Irrelevant things flew by me. Even the important stuff I didn’t take much notice. I argued with the doctors. I wasn’t going to any ‘special’ hospital. I didn’t belong with the lunatics and psychos. Or maybe I did. I didn’t know myself anymore. I couldn’t identify me. I was just like everyone else. The most plain, cloned human being in the world. Maybe it was all the drugs running through my veins. Every so often I could feel the pressure in my arms and I violently jolted. I had to speak to the people I need the most at the moment, My band.
Whilst I was lying here thinking I could hear Ray, Mikey, Frank and Bob talking loudly with the doctors about seeing me. Every time the doctor just simply replied ‘He is in no stable mental state to see anyone.’ I heard Mikey say ‘When has he ever been in a stable state just let us in!’ That made me laugh, but also reminded me why I was lying here in this hospital bed. Slowly I fell into a deep asleep.