Smoking Cigarettes

“But mommy!” I whined while kicking the back of the car seat impatiently. “I don’t wanna go!”

“Stop whining!”

“I’m not whining!” I cried while twirling around in the back seat. My mommy glared back at me and I stuck my tongue out at her. “I don’t wanna go! Take me home, damn it!”

“Aiden!”

“Home! Home! Home! Home!”

“Aiden if you don’t shut up I’m taking away Big Dog!”

I gasped in complete horror. Mommy wouldn’t do that would she? No she wouldn’t! As if she would torture her very own child in such a way…it’s impossible, right!?

“You wouldn’t!” I shouted while jumping into the front of the car. My mother panicked as I maneuvered myself to sit in the passenger seat on her lap. My father smiled as he listened to us bicker. “You wouldn’t take away Big Dog!”

My mother sighed before grumbling, “Aiden…you are going to school whether you want to or not.”

“Daddy,” I whimpered, puckering my lips cutely. I have perfected the puppy dog look. No one can say not to this face! My father looked at me wide-eyed. My large blue eyes watered as I pouted. “I don’t wanna go…tell mommy I don’t need to go.”

My father immediately cracked at my look and mumbled, “I t-think we should just k-keep him home dear.”

“How can you fall for that look, again?” My mother shouted and I glared at her. Her shouting is not helping my case! She is so not cute. “I need to teach you how to resist it, besides we both know he needs to!”

“Why do I need to?” I asked while crossing my arms to form a pout. My plan had failed me…damn it…next time I’ll use a shot gun…yeah because threatening your parents with a shot gun is always a healthy idea!

“I don’t want you to be stuck at home all day anymore,” My mother answered as she adjusts me on her lap. I guess she was right I needed to gain some weight…I looked like an anorexic. “Besides you need some more friends then just Addison and Drew.”

“But I wuv them mommy and I got Big Dog!” I tried to explain to her, waving my arms about us both wildly.

“He’s a stuffed animal.” She said that as if it were a bad thing…

“So? He’s still a friend.”

“Who can’t talk.”

“My friends can’t talk around me anyways I’m always the one talking!” I thought she knew this? Isn’t she supposed to be some type of super smart adult? The hell is this!

“He’s making a point,” my father butts in and I gave him a thankful smile.

“At least someone still loves me!” I shouted before looking away from my mother.

“Hun, we can’t home school you forever. Besides it’ll only be three years.”

“Plus college,” I informed her. As if she’d allow me to be a bum and live in her basement. My dreams will never come true!

“Well that you can do online if you want, but still you can make it through!”

I’m sure you’re all a bit confused right now. I’m debating on whether I should tell what’s going on or not. I mean I could just leave you there lost and confused. It would be fun I know that, but if I left you there confused then I’d feel bad about it later so…I guess I can tell you.

You see I have severe ADHD. I’m stupid, really I am. I’m hyper and crazy and I can’t sit still for too long or I just lose it and start running around like a maniac. I can’t pay attention to something for too long without getting bored and trying to do something else.

My parents decided to home school me. They thought that if they did then maybe they could calm me down a bit, but that didn’t work so well. Now they’re trying to send me to a public school in hopes that I’ll calm down a bit. I’ve never gone to a school before so I’m a little nervous about it.

Addison, my best friend ever, informed me that it isn’t as bad as I think it is. He told me that him and his friends, that I’ve met a few times but never really hung out with them, will talk with me so I don’t feel lonely. He said that him and Drew, my “twin”, will make sure that my time here at school will be fun.

I should believe them but…I think I’ve watched television too much…aren’t those big jocks and preps supposed to be Satan reincarnations? They’ll rip out my heart and feed it to their young and quite frankly I like my life, I’d like to live it!

“What if the big meanies eat me mommy?” I asked with wide eyes. “Addison and Drew can’t protect me!”

“Oh but Addison’s friend can,” my mother said with a soft smile. I relaxed as she runs her hands through my messy hair. “What was his name? It started with a S…the protective one-“

“The dickhead?”

“Aiden, that’s mean!”

“It’s not being mean it’s being honest,” I protest with a huge shit-eating grin. “You always said to be honest.”

My mother sighed before asking, “What are we going to do with you?”

I couldn’t help but laugh. I must admit…I am a handful. A beautiful, talented and completely perfect handful! I mean, how could someone resist a kid as charming and cute as me? I’m like the best thing ever.