Smoking Cigarettes

Sin P.O.V

“I can’t believe you did that! You are by far the biggest asshole to ever step foot onto this planet!”

Normally I’d say something back, something ignorant or cocky. Perhaps I’d even threaten the idiot who dare say that to me, but it was different this time, because not only was it true but I deserved it. No, I deserved worse than this.

“What the fuck were you thinking? Oh wait, you weren’t! You weren’t thinking of anything because you were too fucking drunk! Damn it Sin, why are you screwing this up? Why can’t you just tell him how you feel? He isn’t like Lalla!”

I flinched. Lalla. The name was like acid on my tongue. It burned my mouth before slipping down my throat and into my insides where it began to rot away my very being. That name was what haunted my mind every second of every day of every month of every year.

It keeps reminding me of how I’m fucking up so bad. It keeps telling me what I’m doing is so wrong, because she did the same. It keeps punching me in the gut until I feel like my stomach is going to be forever bruised.

“I’m s-sorry,” Addison stuttered. I bet you didn’t know that he was yelling at me huh? He can be pretty evil when he wants to. “I didn’t…I d-didn’t mean to bring h-“

“No,” I interrupt, realizing that my mouth can work. “You’re right. He isn’t anything like her.”

Addison stood before me silently. It was obvious he was beyond pissed at me. He has every right to be…I mean I did…

I shook my head. I didn’t even want to think about it. I couldn’t believe what I had done and I bet I wouldn’t have remembered a damn thing if Addison hadn’t come over to the house the party was at, which was where I had stayed, and started beating me like a punching bag while screaming at me at the top of his lungs.

Told you, he can be evil when motivated.

It was then when I remembered the events of that night. Sure they were blurry and I couldn’t remember much, but they were there and they clearly said what Aiden and I had done…or should I say what I made Aiden do.

He was in a vulnerable state. I was drunk. It’s obvious that he wasn’t thinking correctly and neither was I. I shouldn’t have called him. I should have known that much. It’s my fault it happened. And maybe I wouldn’t be so concerned if the person wasn’t Aiden.

Aiden…he’s a good kid, the type that has to wait before doing something like that. He needs to be held and taken care of. I obviously didn’t do that.

Addison paced before me, occasionally kicking at the clothes on my floor. I rested my elbows on my knees while I buried my face in my hands. My fingers slipped through my hair as I tugged, wishing that I could just rip it all out and scream at the top of my lungs, but that was below me. That’s something Aiden would do.

“You have to fix this.”

“I know.”

Addison continued to pace, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth…it was getting annoying. It was only making my throbbing headache worse. I will give you all a piece of advice. Never, ever, let a pissed off Addison in your house when you have a hang over. It is probably the worst combination…no wait, a pissed off Addison and a hyped up Aiden. Now that would be bad.

“Sin,” Addison speaks, stomping his feet stubbornly. “You are going over to Aiden’s house right now. You will apologize, tell him about Lalla, and properly date him.”

…

…

Did anyone else hear that midget scream? No…just me?

A single eyebrow rose as I asked, “I beg your pardon?”

“You heard me,” Addison hissed through clenched teeth, hands placed on his hips. “Go right now mister!”

“What are you, my mother?”

“Sin I will remove your testicles if you do not go over right fucking now!”

~

And that is how I ended up standing here, on Aiden’s doorstep. I took in a deep breath because to be brutally honest I felt like I was going to faint on the spot.

I know it’s amazing to think of me being nervous, but can you blame me?

Hesitantly I knocked on the door. Part of me begged for it to be his mother to answer and hopefully cuss me out and never allow me to see him again. The other, rather larger, part of me was praying that Aiden answered so I could just jump him, make love to him again, and then apologize…maybe it’d be better to switch the apologizing and making love part?

Yeah…

You see this is how my brain works whenever I have a hang over and I’m nervous. It’s completely fucked up and…just useless!

Suddenly I was pulled from my thoughts as I heard a lock click. The door slowly opened to show Aiden standing behind it.

It was your average scene really. I stood here with a stoic expression as Aiden stood before me with stained cheeks and blood shot eyes. He had on some sweat pants that had to be two sizes too big along with a hoodie that was definitely too big for him. It was large enough to show his entire left shoulder, which had a few hickeys on it I might add.

I wanted to smile knowing that I had put them there, but then I remembered how they got there and it just killed the mood.

Sighing I glance towards Aiden from beneath my fringe. He looked utterly shocked, slightly frightened, and above all else, nervous.

“Aiden,” I finally spoke causing him to jump. The boy was fast as he tried to shut the door, but I was faster. My hand shot out and immediately stopped it. Aiden tried pushing all his weight to shut the door, but he had to only way 110 wet so it wasn’t hard for me to get in.

Of course, as soon as I got in Aiden ran full speed towards the stairs. I’m happy I had longer legs than him because if I didn’t then maybe I wouldn’t have caught him, but somehow I managed to get him before he got to the stairs.

The boy kicked his legs wildly as he clawed at my arms. I flinched as the dull nails dug into my skin. My head started to hurt worse as he started to scream at the top of his lungs. I never realized Aiden could actually be louder.

What an idiot.

His thrashing was getting extremely annoying so I made it easier on the both of us and threw him onto the couch. He tried to jump back off but I easily pushed myself between his legs to rest all my body weight on him. He squeaked and tried to push me off him, but like I said the boy was a twig. There was no way he’d be able to move me without the help of a bulldozer.

“Get off me, dickhead!”

I never thought that the day would come when I actually wanted to hear that nickname, but Aiden always seemed to be able to defy logic. I mean he got me to fall for him didn’t he?

I feel myself smile softly but I quickly get rid of that to growl at him, “No. You’ll try to run and we need to talk.”

“N-No we don’t! Get off me!” Aiden protested.

I shook my head stubbornly before resting some of my weight on my elbows, which were placed by his head. I knew he’d try punching my face so I pinned his wrists next to his head as well. He glared up at me and for the first time I didn’t glare back, just stared at him.

“Aiden.”

He shivered. I wasn’t sure if it was from fear or pleasure. I’m begging it’s the latter though. I honestly don’t know what I’d do if he was actually scared of me.

“We need to talk.”

Aiden bit his bottom lip nervously. I felt him begin to wiggle under me as his eyes darted everywhere around the room. It took a few seconds but he finally mumbled, “O-Ok.”