Smoking Cigarettes

What the hell is up with all these halls looking the same? Are they trying to make me feel like a trapped rat? First off I don’t have a god damn tail, but that’d be fucking awesome if I did!

Oh my god, what if I could like pick stuff up with it? I could be like spider man except I don’t shoot sticky shit out of my hands. Instead I use my tail…

Wow Aiden you just got off topic, again! Stop that damn it, you little son of a bitch learn how to actually pay attent-oh my god shiny object!

I squealed before tackling the shiny object on the ground. Grinning like a maniac, I open my hands to see that it was just a pen. The metal part of it was glistening from the light from the window. I whined as I realized it wasn’t a buried treasure or something, but decided to keep the pen anyways…it was shiny…

I stood back up and screamed, loudly, when a bell rang. Kids ran into the halls and I slammed myself against the wall as I watched them stampede by. I felt like one of those people um…what are they called…they go like out into the wild and try to take pictures of animals…photographers? Maybe…I don’t know.

Being a photographer would be pretty cool though…I want to be a photographer for porn. Yeah, that’d be nice. I’d make a shit ton of money with a face like this. I bet I’d have all the men and women drooling over me. It’d be like a fucking orgy or somethin’…

“Aiden?”

I screamed again, until I realized it was Addison next to me. I gasped before wrapping my arms around the small boy. Drew laughed at me as I whined, “Addison I was so scared! I felt like I was going to die! Look at all these fat kids, I’m like fresh meat to them! They’re going to eat me!”

Addison gasps, “Aiden, the kids aren’t fat.”

“Compared to him, hell yeah they are,” Drew cuts in, laughing as he does. Dick.

“Not helping Drew!” I shout at the brunette before stomping on his toe. Yeah, that’s what he gets for messing with me, my mad karate skills! I bet I was so fast he didn’t see it coming! Or he just wasn’t looking.

Drew hopped on one foot and I ignored his cries of pain. Addison wanted to help him but I wrapped my arm around his shoulders before saying, “Lets go, my amazing sexy ass best friend!”

And we left Drew.

“I can’t believe you left me!” Drew shouts and again I ignore him because, well, the fly on the wall was more entertaining.

“Aiden are you listening?”

Oh my god, I think it looked at me. Is he admiring my beauty or something? I wonder what I look like to him? I bet I’m like a giant that makes him so scared that his little heart nearly explodes! Do flies have more than two eyes? So does he see ten of me or something? Dude I want an eye in the back of my head. That’d be totally wicked…I could watch Addison change when he’s at my house. Hehe!

“Aiden!”

“What? Damn it, what the hell do you want? I am dreaming of Addison naked here can you leave me alone!”

Addison flushed while Drew burst into hysterical laughter. I watched as the boy rolled on the ground holding his stomach before glancing at Addison and smiling. The blondes’ cheeks brightened considerably in color and I couldn’t help myself, I just had to poke fun at him.

“Aw Addi, you’re just so cute! Look at you, you’re blushing. You look like a big stuffed animal!” I wrap my arms around him and squeeze him. He really was like a cuddling stuffed animal…they should make stuffed animals look like him! I’d so buy one…but if they made a bunch of them the world would know how cute Addison was…then I would have to kill them. Kill them all! Muhahahaha!

I flirted with Addison all the time. Not because I liked him, but because it was so hilarious to make him all embarrassed like that. Plus it always made all three of us smile, which is what I like to make people do. This should be my job! I’d be so great at it.

After Drew could breathe again and Addison stopped blushing Drew complained to me about leaving him. I would have paid attention to him if it weren’t for the fact that cars kept passing by the school and for some odd reason a lot of them were nice…like really nice…and shiny.

I stared and possibly drooled. I want a nice car so I can drive around like a pimp and blast music so loud China can hear. Then I want to go around and try to pick up some sexy men for me to stare and drool over.

“You have by far the shortest attention span…ever.”

“What?”

Drew sighs before smacking me over the head. I whined, “Stop abusing me! One day I’m filing charges against you and you’ll regret doing this to me!”

“They’ll take one look at it before burning it for stupidity,” a new voice cuts in and I immediately glare up at the owner.

“Grim reaper!” I shriek before jumping out of my desk.

There he stood before me…the grim reaper himself! But where’s the damn scythe? Everyone knows that grim reapers have scythes!

Drew raises an eyebrow before asking, “What?”

Sin sighs before taking a seat in front of Drew. I continued to stand and point my finger at him while keeping a scowl on my face. That dickhead…he can’t have this class with me! What if…what if he pulls out a knife or something and kills me…or worse…what if he rapes me?

I screamed, really, really loud.

“Aiden!”

I squeaked before turning my attention to the teacher. My eyes became wide as she yelled at me, “Is there a problem?”

“Yes!” I answer before pointing at Sin. My finger poked his cheek and I heard him growl dangerously at me, but of course I didn’t care. I like playing ding-dong ditch at deaths door. “I’m scared the grim reaper might rape me and quite frankly I’d like to keep my asses virginity.”

Some laughed, some didn’t, I didn’t care though. I just wanted to know that I’d be safe from the reaper beside me who was shooting daggers at me with his eyes. It wasn’t all that scary though because…I don’t really know why it just wasn’t. Maybe because I’m better than he is? Yes, that is obviously the answer.

“Please just sit down.” The teacher sighs, rubbing her temple as she does.

I pouted and took a seat next to Sin. I glanced over to see he was no longer looking at me. I turned to face Addison before asking; “If he attacks me and I stop breathing you’ll give me CPR with tongue right?”

And then Addi hit me. How rude!