Smoking Cigarettes

“You look like a drowned rat…”

“Shut up!” I shout and angrily push Drew out of the way.

It has been a week since I‘ve attended a public high school. It isn’t as bad as I thought, but I must say the teachers are wishing I never even came here. It’s not that I’m bad or anything it’s just that my ADHD can get a little out of control at times. A little is an understatement.

I accidentally lit the science room on fire…we weren’t even testing chemicals. I just decided to steal Sin’s lighter and see if it would melt the metal on my desk. Then I kind of sort of started running around the room with it still on and it kind of…well you get it.

Back to the point though, Drew had invited me over to his house. Everyone was there. When I say everyone I mean Drew, Addison, Seth, Angel, October, Jake, Janet, and Sin the evil bastard who I swear is really the grim reaper in disguise but no one will believe me. I don’t understand why though, it’s perfectly logical! Just look at the damn thing!

I ran from the car to Drew’s’ house but I still managed to get soaked. I whined as I entered the living room. The girls giggle and Jake raises an eyebrow at me, obviously not amused with the way my shirt is see through and my pants shrunk a few sizes. I bet he’s just jealous that my bulge is bigger than his. Hehe!

“Damn it!” I shout, stomping my feet. “These jeans were already tight. Addison help me get these off!”

Addison chokes as his face changes colors. “W-Why? Can’t y-you do I-it yourself?”

“No!” I answer prior to pointing at my crotch. “Not without damaging this amazing treasure!”

Drew laughs, “What treasure? There’s nothing down there.”

I grin before doing something that most children would never do. I grab my pants and pull them off right in front of everyone. Again the girls squeal and the boys all look away but still screams stuff at me.

I laugh as I show off my amazing man hood. They should feel honored to be in my glorious presence!

“Aw what’s the matter Drew? Got nothing to say!” I laugh evilly.

“Dude!” Drew shouts as he covers his eyes. “I could have lived without seeing that.”

I gasp. “What? Excuse me? My dick is something everyone needs to see! You know what…that is true…everyone needs to see this wonderful gift that has been bestowed onto me!”

“You’re n-“

Drew couldn’t finish because I had already stripped myself of my shirt to run out of the house. I ran down the street screaming at the top of my lungs while nude. Did I mention it was pouring down rain and thundering and lightning outside? Well it is.

“Freedom!” I scream as I make airplane sounds because I‘m a mother fucking airplane broski. “I am finally free!”

I would have stayed out there longer but my bottom got cold and I ran back. I run inside continuing to scream, “Cold!”

I run into the living room and decide to piss the dickhead off. I knew the best way too!

I jump right into Sin’s lap and wrap my arms around his neck. Yes people I’m still naked. Why would I put clothes on anyways?

I feel Sin twitch under me. I giggle before snuggling my face into Sin’s neck and saying, “Hold me! I’m cold.”

“Get. Off. Now,” Sin growls through clenched teeth. If I was anyone else I would have screamed and cried at the death glare he was giving me. It was a deadly enough glare to make any grown men slit their wrists and kill themselves right then and there, but I’m special and I have immunity!

“But Sin,” I pout and snuggle into his chest. “I’m cold!”

“I don’t give a flying fuck,” Sin spits before pushing me off his lap. I whine as my ass met the floor. “You’re a freak now get lost.”

“You meanie head!” I shout, forcing some tears from my eyes. I watch the way Sin tenses and I continue to act like I’m crying. Yet another job I should add onto my list, acting! I am an amazing faker.

“Look what you did Sin!” October shouted as she grabbed a blanket and threw it over me. She then went to hugging me from behind. “You made him cry.”

Sin crossed his arms over his chest stubbornly before looking to his left. I watched as he squirmed a bit in his seat. If I wasn’t so close and good at reading people I probably wouldn’t have noticed but I have skills people! S-K-I-L-L-S! What does that spell? Skills!

Sin scoffs. “Like I care.”

October rolls her eyes before pulling me to my feet. She then takes me into one of the bathrooms and hands me some of Drew’s clothes. Before she leaves though she looks back at me and smiles. “You’re such a faker.”

“You love me!” I giggle and she rolls her eyes before leaving the room.

~

“Die dickhead die!”

Sin groaned next to me obviously annoyed at what he was forced to do. By force I mean, me grabbing the video game controller and shoving it in his hands while threatening to strip again and shove my dick in his face. Of course after what happened earlier he believed my threat and decided to play Call of Duty with me.

I giggled as I shot Sin again. Sure he was hardly even trying. To be honest all he did was run away from me, but still the thrill of the hunt was awesome! I totally understand why cats chase their prey before devouring them. It is very entertaining!

“You lose again my death loving friend!” I shout before wrapping my arms around his neck. I sniffed his face before grimacing. “You smell like smoke.”

“I just had a cigarette,” Sin says while raising a perfect black eyebrow. For being a dead man who steals souls, he really does look too perfect.

“Stop smoking you little son of a bitch or you’re going to die of cancer and I will laugh! Laugh I tell you, laugh!”

“I don’t care.”

“Why are you friends with him?” I ask, turning to face Addison.

Addison shrugs before answering, “Because.”

“Because! Because! He’s the damn grim reaper why do you want to keep him around?” I emphasize what I have to say by continuously poking Sin in the cheek. He looks as if he’s about to bite my finger off but I don’t care. If he does, I’ll just beat his ass!

“Will you shut up? Every time you open your mouth I lose brain cells,” says Sin, angrily.

“No one was talking to you dickhead!” I screech before trying to punch his arm. Sadly, Sin is an evil bastard who learned karate, probably from them damn evil karate knowing gnomes, and blocked my punch by grabbing my wrist and twisting. “Ow, ow! Let go you asshole before I burn your trousers!”

Sin raised an eyebrow at me, probably because of my strange choice of words, but I’d totally burn his trousers if he didn’t let go. Thankfully he did, but he pushed me away and I rolled backwards.

I really don’t like this guy…

He needs to die…I should kill him. Yeah, slowly and painfully with…with a piece of paper. Yeah, I’ll paper cut him to death. It’ll be slow and painful and afterwards I’ll feed him to the gnomes! They’re hungry litter critters, always eating my snacks and stealing my socks. Damn them!

What?

Paper cuts hurt dude!