Smoking Cigarettes

“I can’t believe you actually made him leave a party,” Seth spoke to me wide-eyed and impressed.

I grinned at my freaking amazing success. Honestly, I am so fucking amazing. They should totally make a statue out of me or some god damn state! I’m just that damn amazing.

“Well,” I say with a grin before flipping my hair. “I am pretty freaking insane.”

Seth laughed before ruffling my hair. After that he announced his leave along with everyone else. I waved good-bye to all of them before waltzing inside of Sin’s house. I decided to stay with him for tonight so he didn’t try to go back to the party.

Yes people I’m risking my life! Remember me as the most amazing being to ever hit this planet and…bury me in a patch of cookies ok? So if I get hungry you know…there’s cookies all around!

After I entered the living room I found Sin. He looked over at me with a light pink dusting over his cheeks. I literally screamed in fear. That. Was. Not. Sin!

“Who are you?” I shout before tackling the imposter to the ground. “Sin doesn’t blush!”

The imposter raised an eyebrow before asking, “What the hell are you talking about? I wasn’t blushing.”

I grabbed both cheeks before I started to pull and scream loudly, “No, no I saw pink on these chubby things! It was a blush, a goddamn blush! What happened to Sin?”

“He died and went to hell after being humped by your sorry ass.”

I burst out into hysterical laughter. Ah yes, none of you know what I did. Well you see after Sin said “Make Me” I decided that I’d hump him. So I pulled down my pants and boxers before I went to humping his leg like a horny dog. Sin immediately agreed to leave as long as I swore to never do that again.

Ah yes, I am a genius.

Sin growled before scowling; “Stop laughing.”

“But. Your. Face. Was. So. Funny!” I manage to choke out through my laughter. I wanted to die laughing. Is it possible to die from laughing gas? I wonder…I could test it out on Sin. “Not that it is all the time anyways.”

I got hit for that. I whined as I rubbed the sore spot on my poor little head. That asshole! I was just saving his life from the evil monster called “Drugs” and all I get is a hit in the head and a bunch of shitty, druggie thrown insults.

“You know you are such a butt,” I say with a pout. Sin gave me a look that clearly stated he didn’t care. I crossed my arms over my chest before looking away. “I am so nice to you but you act like a butt to me.”

Sin scoffed. “You are not nice to me.”

“Well I’m nicer to you than you are with me!”

“So? Maybe you should stop being ‘nice’ to me.”

“I will!”

“Ok.”

“Fine.”

“All right.”

“Cool.”

“I’m going to bed,” Sin sighs before standing up and exiting the living room. I grin at the amazing view. I will always believe that Sin has the greatest ass known to man kind. I mean it would make any being, human or not, stare. It’s just so plump and…grope-able.

After Sin left I curled up on the couch like a cat. I even pretended to purr. I giggled a few times as I imagined a giant fluffy cat raping Sin. Oh yes, that is funny. Then I imagined myself raping Sin…suddenly my pants were a little tight.

I whined, “Sin! I got a boner come get rid of it.”

I heard something fall up stairs. I laughed, as Sin shouted back, “No way in hell!”

“But I need you to get rid of it for me!”

“Never!”

“Why not?”

“Because, I hate you,” is his cold reply.

I winced at the sound and said nothing in return. Did he really hate me? Sometimes I wondered that. Sometimes I didn’t care about the answer and sometimes I did. There’s just this feeling in my gut that makes me squirm when I hear him say it. I’m just strange like that, I guess. I ignore those thoughts though and immediately got myself distracted by the way the moonlight shines off the TV in the living room.

Yes the saying “shiny things attract me” is definitely a way to describe me.

Shiny.