Dark Blue

Garrett

"Ooh, I know that face!" Pat sang, plopping down next to me on the couch. I looked up long enough to roll my eyes before turning my attention back to the screen of my phone. "Who are you texting that's putting that dorky grin on your face?"

"Pat, I love you, but shut the fuck up," I mumbled just loud enough for him to hear me.

"Touchy, touchy," he laughed, draping an arm around my shoulder. I tried to shrug it off but he wasn't having none of that. "Are you texting this mystery girl?"

"No," I sang, half annoyed. Ever since the night a week and a half ago, he hadn't let it drop. Every time my phone buzzed or rang, he'd look at me and waggle his eyebrows at me. Even with all the completely heterosexual love I had for him, I just wanted to smack him.

"What's this about a girl?" Jared asked, popping at his gum as he walked into the main area of the bus.

"Nothing Pat's just-"

"Girl? Garrett has a girl?" John asked, taking off his sunglasses as he entered, completely interrupting me.

"I do not!" I protested quickly, trying my best to do damage control. Alas, I was totally unsuccessful.

"Whoa, I heard yelling," Kennedy joked, jumping right into the conversation. "I fall behind two minutes to pay the lunch bill, and suddenly there's yelling. What the hell did I miss?"

"A girl!" Pat yelled out excitedly.

"A girl?" Kennedy echoed, his face lighting up in a devious grin. I could feel the heat rushing to my cheeks as his eyes darted to me.

"There's not-" I started, but Jared cut me off.

"Apparently Garrett's got himself a girl."

I groaned not so subtly, dropping my phone into my lap and rubbing my eyes. For the past month, they had all been tiptoeing around me and barely saying any words because they were afraid of how I would react. And now, suddenly, all they could do was talk about me and give me shit. Gotta love best friends, huh?

"I don't have a girl. You are all blowing this thing entirely out of proportion," I reasoned, propping my chin up on my fists and looking at them. My argument apparently held little ground though, because they were all smiling like idiots at each other.

"If there isn't a girl, who are you texting?" John inquired with a shit-eating grin.

Busted.

"A friend," I said lamely.

"A lady friend?" Kennedy drew out the words suggestively, not even attempting to hide his smirk. I looked back at my phone and texted a much delayed response to Val in a vain attempt to ignore them.

"How long has this been going on?" Jared prodded, and I acted like I hadn't heard.

"At least two weeks," Pat informed them, and I looked up at the ceiling and wished to be anywhere else. However, that didn't happen.

"Two weeks? How the hell has it been going on at least that long without us knowing?" Kennedy asked in disbelief.

"Because she's just a friend. Okay?" I snapped desperately.

"Okay, okay," John laughed, holding up his hands. "No need to get so hostile."

"This girl must be an angel to be putting up with you," Pat teased. "I mean really, look at you."

I sighed and rubbed my temples. "You guys should really get these things called lives."

"See, we have one, it's called The Maine, and unfortunately, you signed your soul to this band and you're stuck with us, like it or not," Jared retorted.

"The truth if I have ever heard it," Tim said in mock-seriousness, barging into our little party. I honestly couldn't tell you where he had been, but I have never been so grateful to see him in my life. Ever.

"Hey bro, what's up?" I asked, eager to get the conversation off of me and my love life, which, for the record and much to my disappointment, didn't really exist. Not that I could convince any of them that.

"You didn't tell him yet," he concluded, staring down my band mates who were suddenly all trying to appear nonchalant.

"Tell me what?" I asked cautiously. I was attempting to keep calm, but something about this was making me incredibly nervous. Everyone was eerily quiet as my gaze flashed between them.

"It's nothing bad," Pat blurted out.

"We were going to, we just got sidetracked," John added on for Tim's benefit.

"Tell me what?" I repeated, sounding slightly more hysterical.

Tim sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Our next stop is back in Tempe. We have a show there and then two day break before we head over to Dallas."

"Oh," I responded quietly, sinking back against the couch.

"If you don't want to, we could always reschedule," Tim explained quickly, but I cut him off with my hand.

"It's fine, I'll have to face it sometime, right?" I said indifferently before forcing a smile at all of them. "I'm gonna go get some rest, okay?"

I didn't wait for an answer before shuffling back to my bunk. I could feel their worried eyes on the back of my head, but I refused to turn around. Of course there was a home show, there always was. I just hadn't been prepared for it to be this soon.

I sat on the edge of the mattress and rested my head in my hands. Sage and I had a tradition at every home show, since it was usually the only one she got to come out to see. I got her a front row seat, and she would always get there early enough to watch us rehearse and then hang out with me and the guys before the actual show. Then, after the show was finished, I'd always bargain a few hours with Tim and the drivers and take her out to get ice cream or pizza or something, and we'd catch up. It was easily my favorite night of the tour every single time, but I had never admitted that much to Sage. Looking back, I wished I had.

My body was numb and almost didn't realize it when my phone vibrated against my hand. Something inside me kicked in, and instead of answering or even looking at Val's text, I picked up the phone and called her. She picked up almost immediately, cutting off the very first ring.

"Typically, just a simple 'k' would suffice as a reply," she teased. "You scared me, Nickelsen, or more so, my ring tone did."

"Sorry," I said with a cough. She was quiet for a moment, and I could hear the slight difficulty it still took for her to breathe since the accident.

"Are you okay? You sound off," she said gently, and I could feel the catch in my throat from her simple words.

"Yeah, I'm sorry," I mumbled quickly. "I'm fine. It's fine. I didn't mean to worry you, I'll just hang up-"

"The hell you will," she said sharply, and I could just picture her dark eyes narrowing at me. "Garrett Daniel Nickelsen, I'm going to ask you again and I just dare you to lie. Are you okay?"

I was quiet for a few moments, trying to find my bearings. "It's just, our show tomorrow is in Tempe, and it's the first home one since the accident and..."

"And the first home show Sage won't be at," she finished quietly. I nodded, even though she couldn't hear it.

"I knew subconsciously it was coming, but I didn't expect it to be this soon or hit me so hard like this," I rambled, staring up at Pat's bunk above me. Val never interrupted me, just sat and listened thoughtfully. "I just don't know how to do it. It's like losing her all over again, and I just feel so lost and alone."

"I know it's hard. What you're feeling, I get it. It's like you go on thinking the hurt can't get any worse, or you'll forget about it for half a second and then suddenly something sets you off and it's so damn hard, even harder than before and you just fall to your knees and forget which direction is up. I know. But Gare, I swear to you that you are not alone in this. You have your family, even though they seem so far and distant right now. And I swear as long as I'm here, you have me, too."

Both ends of the phone were silent for a little as I listened to her breathing, and I could only imagine her doing the same. I could feel my heartbeat slowly starting to return to normal and the unshed tears banishing themselves back to deep within me. Even with the miles separating us, I could feel her presence and her arms around me.

"You're right," I murmured finally.

"Well, of course I am," she joked. "It is me after all."

I chuckled a bit, shaking my head. Then it hit me. Actually, I practically saw and felt Sage hit me over the head and give me a look, as if my next move was obvious and I was being stupid for not seeing it sooner.

"Hey, Val?"

"What's up?"

"What are you doing tomorrow?"

"Uh, I'm pretty sure nothing aside from lying on the couch and watching reruns of Bones and NCIS. Why?"

"Do you wanna see a concert tomorrow night?"

She didn't say anything for a few moments. "I don't know..."

"Please. I don't know if I can do it on my own, and I know I'm going to have to learn how, but I'm not ready yet."

"Of course I'm going to be there for you! But," she said slowly, and my heart dropped. "I mean, I don't know. Is the band terribly awful? 'Cause I've heard rumors, and I won't miss sitting on my ass watching dramatic TV for just anything..."

I immediately caught on and let out a sigh of relief. "Actually, I hear they're pretty kick-ass."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. And that all of the members are insanely sexy. Especially the bassist."

Her clear, perfect laugh filled my ears. Not her forced laugh or sad, ironic one, but an actual laugh. For a minute, it was just like all the nights I had heard it on the opposite side of my bedroom wall when she was hanging out with Sage.

"Oh well, in that case I must see this concert! How could I say no to kick-ass music and sexy guys?"

Her giggle made me laugh too, and I finally felt much more calm than I had in the past few days.

"Thank you, Val. I mean it," I whispered, my voice suddenly serious.

"You don't have to thank me, Gare," she replied in a low voice. "I'll see you tomorrow rock star."

"Yeah. Until tomorrow," I sighed.

We said our goodbyes and the line went dead on the other side. I laid down and let it all sink in for a little before making any sort of movement. I knew I had to, though, so I stood up and strolled back to where I had left the guys. As soon as they saw me, they all shut up real fast. I couldn't even blame them.

"Hey Tim, can you do me a favor?" I asked awkwardly, choosing to inspect the scenery whirring by the windows instead of everyone's concerned looks.

"Anything. What do you need?"

"A ticket for tomorrow's show," I said quickly, hoping none of them would catch on or ask questions. Maybe it would go over all of their heads. Maybe they wouldn't even make the connection. Maybe-

"Sure, I can do that," he responded with a smile of pure relief. "Who's it for?"

I could feel my face turning bright red, and from the corner of my eye I could see all the guys break out into beams.

Maybe not.

"Justafriend."

"Ooh," Pat started singing.

"SHE'S JUST A FRIEND!" I groaned before turning from the room as quickly as possible, all of them oohing and aaahing behind me, and I think John might have even made a kissy face. And I swear, for a bunch of twenty-something guys, they acted like a bunch of little girls sometimes. I didn't know if I preferred that or the looks of pity...