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can't promise that you'll make it out pure

It wasn’t like Hamlet was my favourite thing to read before I had all my stupid teenage problems plaguing what was left of my sanity, but now that all I could think about was Chase and if maybe I was too hard on him and if maybe it was sort of good I was finally standing up for myself and ignoring the regret that swam in the pit of my stomach, wondering how the hell of this happened in the first place- well, to be honest, I couldn’t give a shit. I was pretty sure everyone died in the play anyways, and it wasn’t like that was going to cheer me up anytime soon.
Not to mention I also had this class with River, who had now turned annoying the shit out of me about Chase every time the teacher wasn’t paying attention into his new favourite hobby, and Ashley who thought that because she was dating my best friend that we were automatically buddy-buddy as well.
If he even was still my best friend. A sigh escaped my mouth at the thought- of course, why wouldn’t he be? Just because I’d been avidly avoiding him for the past week and he was also keen on ignoring me too, it didn’t mean that, well, that we weren’t best friends. We’d always been that. We couldn’t just stop being friends because of what happened, right? I didn’t know how it was going to become okay again, but it just had to.
I swallowed.
I didn’t even want to consider what it would be like if we didn’t make up like we always did. It just didn’t seem… possible. But would things be different if we did? Would it all go back to normal, whatever that even was? Did I even want us to make up?
“Ash, could you read the next passage?” came the voice of my teacher, piercing through my little pity-party reverie.
I blinked a couple of times, returning slowly back to reality, realising that I’d been resting my head in my hands the entire class and had completely nodded off. Everyone’s eyes were stationed on me, waiting, as I frantically searched for where the last person had left off, finding myself completely lost in the text in front of me.
The quiet girl next to me coughed and subtly pointed in her book to where I was supposed to pick up, and I smiled gratefully at her, relief washing over me as I began to mumble out the words.
I knew that letting my teenage problems affect school was dumb, education being important and all of that, but it had legitimately been the only thing on my mind ever since it happened. That, and food. My mind now mostly consisted of just the little break-up Chase and I had or whatever it was called, with a few commercial breaks for McDonalds burgers falling in between.
When I’d finished reading, clearing my throat afterward and thanking all that was good that I’d somehow not made a complete idiot out of myself in front of the entire class. The teacher told us to discuss the passages in groups, and River was quick to turn around with a smirk curved on his face.
Somehow I was absolutely blessed with him sitting right in front of me, because fate just loved to play out like that sometimes. I could feel myself almost choke on the sarcasm at the thought. Under normal conditions I wouldn’t even really cared and been my regular complacent self, but I’d been finding my patience to be wearing thin a lot easier in the recent times.
“Got a little something on your mind there, eh, Matthews?”
I restrained the urge to roll my eyes. “Just thinking about how much I’d have to pay Sabrina across the room to switch seats with me.”
River gasped mockingly, a pseudo-hurt expression written across his face. “Here I am, only trying to be a concerned friend and help you out, and you say something like that. That really hurts, Ash, right in the heart. And I was even going to tell you about something that Chase had said. But now, now I don’t even know how I’m going to go on.”
I cast him a deadpan look, waiting for him to continue. River was probably dying to tell me whatever he’d been harbouring in his throat the entire period, the way that his eyes lit up and that smirk quirked on his lips, I wouldn’t doubt it for a second. Those sorts of things were what he lived for, he was as gossipy as an aging old lady in a nursing home with too much time on her hands.
“Alright, c’mon, out with it,” I pressed.
I could feel my stomach knot intricately at the thought of whatever Chase had said- was it bad, was it good? Despite my usual non-confrontational demeanour, I had to tighten my hands into fists to restrain myself from forcing it out of River right then and there. If he had said something, that meant that he was thinking about me, at least.
A long, melodramatic sigh drew from his lips as he teasingly contemplated his choices, eyes focused on the ceiling. “I don’t know, man, I think I may have forgot.”
I blinked.
“It may be coming to me, but it’s a little hazy, I don’t know…”
Another blink.
“Fine! Fine! You forced it out of me. I can’t keep anything for you, Matthews. Now let’s not get physical here, no need to resort to violence you crazy motherfucker.” The cheeky grin shone of his face. I blinked again. “Chase was just talking about Chloe’s party and-”
The bell signalling the end of class echoed through the class, the familiar ringing dispersing through the air only to be drowned out by the sound of shuffling books and conversation moments after. Distracted, I looked towards the teacher who feebly tried to encourage us to read more, only to look back to find that River had completely disappeared.
“I guess I’ll tell ya later!” called the blond boy from across the room, a devious glint in his eyes as he vanished out of the classroom door before I could manage any sort of reaction or rebuttal from my throat.
Heaving a sigh, I mentally cursed at River, because I knew for the rest of the day I’d be wondering about what Chase said. Not like I could barely even process things before or anything silly like that.
“Oh, hey Ash!”
I paused for a moment, my mouth twitching slightly at the enthusiastic greeting ringing through my ears. “Erm, hey Ashley,” I mumbled back, absorbing the delicate features of the one girl I’d also been trying to avoid.
“You okay? It looks like something’s bothering you.” Her head tilted to the side, concern etched on her face, and she really did an excellent job of making it hard to hate her. If anything, I wasn’t really surprised at all that Chase decided to go official with her, it was obvious that she was anything but ugly with a natural tan and a sprinkle of freckles on her nose, not that I saw her as competition or anything like that.
Clearly she’d already won.
I forced a smile, ready to pour out some half-hearted reassurance that no problem, I was fine, don’t worry about it, when my name was once again called across the room. Apparently I was becoming dashingly popular in recent times.
I never thought I would ever be grateful to see that familiar bob of blonde hair and crazy eyes waiting for me by the classroom door, waving frantically in the air, but I felt relief wash over me. Slinging my backpack across my shoulder I nodded in response.
“Yeah, gotta go, see you later Ashley,” I said a little rushed, trying to keep a normal walking pace on my way to door and not make it look like I was totally making a break for it, which was what I was totally trying to do.
“Ash, Ash, I’m so glad I could catch you before you were off to History!” Chloe breathed out, panting slightly and slapping a hand of relief against her chest. It looked like she made an effort to be there.
 “How do you know I have History next?” I gave her a sideways glance.
She scoffed with a disbelieving grin, dismissing the thought with a wave of her hand. “Oh Ash, you’re so funny. Anyways, I wanted to talk to you about my party, remember? You’re coming right? I told Layla who told Mason that you were coming so I think you’re coming, you said you would, I think? I mean of course you don’t have to, but you know, if you want it’d be really cool, and your friend Mason is coming too,” she continued to ramble, her arm brushing against mine for a moment when she manoeuvred around a pack of freshman. I distanced myself a little bit.
“Mason’s coming?”
She nodded her head vigorously, a grin lighting up her face. “Yeah! Layla actually invited a lot of people, I’m a little bit worried actually that it might get out of hand but I don’t think it will, maybe, or maybe not, I hope not. The soccer team is coming too and I think all of those guys, I sure do hope they don’t trash my house, that would be bad. You don’t think they’ll trash my house, do you?”
Suddenly Chloe’s eyes had grown into saucers, saturated with worry as they stared up at me, realization crossing over her features.
“Nah, nah, it’ll be fine, don’t worry, you know Layla will castrate anyone who tries to pull anything sketchy. Remember when she smashed that Kayla girl’s face into the vending machine?” I reassured her and she nodded, taking it in.
“Yeah, yeah, that’s so true, Ash! I knew I could talk to you!” she beamed at me and I swallowed, shrugging lazily in response. “Chase will be there too so don’t worry I invited everyone it will be totally fun. Or at least I think he will be, I wanted to invite him because he’s your friend, right? Right, and Ashley, she said that they’d be coming, so I think they will, isn’t this going to be so fun?”
At Chase’s name I immediately perked up, drinking in her words and feeling the anxiety settle into my veins. That was exactly what I needed, Mason and Chase all in one room with alcohol involved- it was obvious, karma officially wanted my ass on a platter and wanted it soon.
“Oh, is that bad? Your face, you don’t look okay. Should I uninvite Chase? Do you not want him to come?” Chloe immediately sputtered out, eyes growing wide again.
I cursed myself for being so easy to read.
“No, no, it’s fine, totally cool!” I stretched my mouth into what I hoped was a believable smile. “Yeah, it’ll totally be fine, don’t’ worry, I’m really excited for it.”
She blinked at me, doubtful for a moment before accepting my reassurance. “Okay!” she beamed again. “I’ll see you later then! Have fun in History!”

As she bounded away I wondered how she had any idea of my class schedule, but then decided that I rather I didn’t know anyways. Maybe it was for the better.
Coming up close to my class, I felt the odd vibration of my phone in my pocket, buzzing uncomfortably against my leg. I fished it out, confused to find that Mason was calling me, blinking for a moment at how bizarre that was.
Okay, something was definitely up. I did not understand at all why everyone was suddenly so interested to talk to me, and in the back of my mind why none of those people were Chase who was the only person that actually had anything to say.
“Um… hey?” I answered, bewilderment seeping into my voice.
“Hey! Ash-y boy! You’re not in class, are you? Not interrupting important school time, am I?”
At the familiar voice I could feel the beginning of a smile quirk on my face. “Nah, just about, what did you need?”
“Well, as it turns out, I’ve been invited to this charming Chloe girl’s birthday party, and as it turns out you are too.”
“Okay, and?”
“I just wanted to prepare you because I can’t imagine if I’ll be able to control myself with a libido like mine, alcohol that strong, and an ass like yours. So you better be on your best guard or else I don’t know if I can promise your chastity will stay in tact.”
I could practically hear the grin in his voice. For some reason, it only spurred one of my own.
“You are such a fucking dumb ass.”
“That’s a romantic fucking dumb ass to you, boy. Also, Layla has given me the task of making sure that I drag you there so I’ll probably be at your house at like seven on Friday, this is your heads up call.”
I rolled my eyes. “Pretty sure I don’t need a babysitter.”
Mason scoffed on the other end. “Pretty sure that you should be honoured by my company.
“Goodbye, Mason,” I said firmly, chuckling a little bit.
“Okay, okay, one more thing, I promise, it’s important.”

“Your ass-”
Hanging up, I rolled my eyes, unable to keep the smile from touching my mouth. I couldn’t imagine what Friday night would bring.
♠ ♠ ♠
oh my god, does anyone still read this? .___.
if you do please just wait (more?) for the next chapter I promise, pinky promise it will come full throttle. c:

While I'm not sure if you're still here to accept my thanks, I shall be giving it in a surplus amount to MusicTrans, The Fight Song, Baby-I-like-it97, Through-the-Night, Mew Aqua, A T T A C K !, TropicalStormHawaii, stallion duck, BleedingHearts, majoji, sala samobojcow, Give me Therapy..., Ashes of Scarlett, the ever so fresh, polka dot perfection.

guys I'm so sorry. .___.