Homophobe

“I think I deserve a little bit of a pre-birthday present, don’t you think? A little reward for the amazing friendship I’ve bestowed on you?”

I rolled my eyes and sighed, shoving away the puckered and expecting lips that were daunting closer and closer, aiming right for my own and entirely uninvited. “Keep dreaming there Reynolds.”

At my rejection a melodramatic sigh escaped Mason’s lips, rubbing his face with a pout where I’d pushed him away. “Oh you don’t even want to know the things you do in my dreams, Ash.” The mischievous smirk never faltered as he swung his legs over the side of his bed.

I cast him a deadpan look and grabbed one of the stray pillows beside me, chucking it in his direction and feeling a sense of satisfaction swell when it hit him square in the back of the head. “You fucking perv.”

“What was that about fucking?” he asked suggestively with a glance over his shoulder, completely unfazed.

I flipped him off. He laughed.

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I felt the familiar pang resonate in my chest, growing heavy when I checked the name printed on the screen and not finding it to be Chase’s, again, but Layla’s. Then I cursed myself for even thinking about his name, because I barely even knew if he was thinking about mine, and wasn’t I supposed to be on the road to forgetting about him? Or was I even trying? It almost felt like at any moment he’d come bursting through the door and drag me back to his house, as if he just knew that I was here, like a sixth sense of irritation.

But as my gaze landed on the door, nothing happened. I sighed. At least Mason was a pretty entertaining distraction, even if it seemed like he was trying to get into my pants even more so than usual.

“But actually,” Mason began, dumping himself on the office chair in the middle of the room, swivelling himself to face me with his signature smirk. “What are you going to be doing for your favourite person in the world for their birthday? What can I expect here?”

“You only told me today and your birthday is in a week!” I protested, arms crossed over my chest accented by another unconscious eye roll. “You’ve literally given me like an hour of time to process this.”

Mason dismissed this with a wave of his hand and a broad grin. “It’s more spontaneous this way! This shit you’re gonna do is straight from the heart. More honest, and a little romantic don’t you think?”

“I am not doing anything romantic for you, you stupid fuck,” I scoffed, unable to suppress the betraying chuckle that travelled up my throat.

“Okay, okay,” he mused, nodding his head with understanding, and I was slightly taken aback by how easy it was to get him to agree.

Too easy.

“So my understanding here is that I am definitely going to get a birthday blowjob?”

I laughed and stuck up both my middle fingers, a little surprised how easily the smile slipped onto my face. “Keep talking and I won’t even do anything for you!”

Mason gasped. “Now don’t even joke about that, Ash, that’s just cruel. All I’m asking for you is just to gently suck my dick.”

And seconds later, we both completely dissolved into laughter.

I’d arrived on Mason’s doorstep only an hour before, only to be bombarded with questions about his birthday that he never even bothered to mention ever before, and the comfortable sense of security once again settled into my bones. For most of the time I’d been there, I’d even somewhat forgot about Chase’s existence entirely, something that was completely new to me but definitely welcomed.

“My dad bought chips, I’m gonna go get them,” he announced, lifting to his feet and stretching his arms, causing for the edge of his light grey t-shirt to rise up and reveal a sliver of skin. I wondered if my heartbeat should’ve started to race?

“Don’t get any cuter when I’m gone,” he teasingly warned, casting me a cheeky grin before his wavy blond hair disappeared into the hallway.

My eyes drifted towards the open window to find the sky painted a perpetual grey, clouds lingering low in the sky and the beginnings of a storm threatening with a light shower of rain. Weirdly enough, even though I hated rain (or being wet in general) Chase absolutely loved it. Thunder and lightning, the whole shebang, he always dragged me outside to get absolutely soaked, and I’d follow obediently even though I hated it because that’s just what I always did, just to see that smile of his.

I slapped my forehead with a frown, internally groaning about how fucking cheesy that sounded, and climbed off the bed in hopes to find something in the room to distract myself with. I was not going to stroll down memory lane, not now at least.

My fingers drifted across his desk that was stained and splattered with all colours imaginable on the chestnut wood, decorated with scattered pens and pencils and pastels all strewn across in no recognizable pattern. As my eyes rolled over the familiar art pieces tacked up on every inch of his walls, my interest was piqued by the familiar spiral bound pad resting in the corner.

Mason's art book.

I couldn’t deny the curiosity itching behind my teeth to see the drawing he had apparently been working on- the one of me he was so keen to remind me of but never show. In my defense, I never really had anyone draw me before, it was to be expected that I was pretty much dying to see it, I thought.

Or whatever, it made me feel better about opening it up, either way.

With a quick glance towards the door to make sure that I wasn’t in danger of being caught, I felt the smooth cover underneath the pads of my fingers, adrenaline surging through my veins and my heartbeat accelerating with the fear of being found. Slowly I let my curiosity consume me and I flipped open the pages, surprised to find a face, but not my own.

As I continued to flick through the pages my eyes were met with the same continuous features, different positions and angles but all of the same strong jaw line and enticing eyes. I had no idea who this guy was, I’d never seen him before, but it was apparent that he meant something to Mason considering how much his face appeared time and time again throughout.

I had to admit that I wasn’t really an expert about Mason’s life, but he’d shown me pictures of most of his friends, and this boy’s face had never come up. I was absolutely sure I’d never seen him before, but if he was so important, why didn’t Mason ever mention him? I thought maybe the book was old but I’d seen Mason carrying it around recently, which meant that the drawing were all probably done at least in the span I knew him.

It never really crossed my mind that maybe Mason actually liked someone?

No, we were friends, he would’ve mentioned it, I thought to myself. He would definitely mention it.

“What are you doing?”

“Ah!” I gasped in shock, dropping the book and jumping slightly at the abrupt voice that speared through my mind. With eyes the size of saucers and my heart leaping into my throat I absorbed the sight of Mason, standing in the doorway, his expression unreadable.

Silence flooded between us.

“I-ah, um, I just... it was- I didn’t know, I just, it was- sorry?” I stuttered out, leaning down to grab the notepad that had fallen, pages down, my heartbeat thudding in my ears. “I didn’t know, I was just looking, I’m so sorry,” I blurted out continuously without breaking pace, apologizing for what I didn’t exactly understand in the first place, a furious blush crawling up my neck and seizing my cheeks. “Oh god, I am so sorry.”

His movements were swift as he crossed the room and grabbed the notebook from my hands, still entirely silent and his face never breaking its serious expression. I couldn’t detect if he was mad or disappointed or anything and so had no idea how to react to this bizarre situation, other than to continuously spew out one apology after another.

Mason calmly opened his desk drawer and dropped the book inside, gently closing it shut as I watched with bated breath, scrutinizing his reaction. “I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s fine,” he breathed out, still refusing to meet my gaze, his eyes lingering on the desk. “It’s fine.”

I swallowed. “Ah-okay, I just... uh, who was that?”

He met my eyes, the cloudy grey unreadable to me, an echo of the stormy skies outside. My face continued to burn unnaturally red.

“So what happened with you and Chase?”

I was originally taken back by the question, seemingly coming out of nowhere and nothing like what I was expecting him to say. For a moment I blinked, staring blankly at him, confusion rising from within me.

“Uh, what?”

I tried not to make any sudden movements, hoping sincerely that he wasn’t about to kick my ass, and was completely bewildered by the calm face he wore. Was he going to tell me to get out? Was this going to ruin our friendship? I felt a little like I was still in the probation period and I didn’t want to screw up now- losing two friends in the span of two weeks was not the ideal at the moment.

Mason took a step closer. “You guys got in a fight, right? Your feelings still not returned and all that, like you said?”

This did nothing to soothe the anxiety crawling through my veins. “Well I mean, yeah, sort of, but... but what does that have to do with anything?”

“You know that liking a straight guy- it never works out, Ash. I know, it seems like it’s all okay, you act like it doesn’t matter, but I know you’re hoping that one day he’ll like you back, right? Or that one day you’ll just finally stop caring?” his voice was steady, low, but succeeding in cracking the silence.

“I’m not stupid, I just- I guess, I don’t know. But really, what’s this about?” I murmured, barely breaking above a whisper and unable to rip my gaze from his as he took a step closer. My cheeks continued to burn, rising all the way up to my ears. I was entirely unfamiliar with the expression on his face.

“I’ve been there, Ash, it’s fine, really.”

His presence drew closer until his face was mere inches from mine, which wasn’t anything that unusual by itself but instead of the familiar smirk he always seemed to wear, his face was earnest, completely different. There was none of the usual teasing undertone to his words I’d grown accustomed to.

This was a completely different Mason I'd never met.

I wanted to play stupid but I had a feeling on why he was suddenly evaporating the distance between us, and while I couldn’t deny that I had thought about less-than-friendly feelings towards him in the time of our friendship, it was never something I seriously considered.

At this point it was like throwing a baby into the deep end of the pool, and I was that stupid baby.

“And it is practically my birthday...”

“In a week,” I corrected.

He was seriously invading my personal space bubble and the suggestion in words did nothing to calm my shot nerves.

“Maybe you just need,” he whispered into my ear, his body barely brushing mine, hot breath carressing my cheek, “a distraction?”

I swallowed.

And then my phone vibrated, loud in my back pocket, crashing me into reality. I fumbled with it in my back pocket and stepped to the side, a little thankful to put some distance between myself and the blond, and brought the phone to my ear. Mason watched me carefully.

“Uh, hello?”

“Hi Ash, it’s Chase’s mom,” chimed the familiar and gentle voice through the reciever, which did nothing to calm my hammering heartbeat. “I’m sorry to bother you, but have you seen Chase?”

I cleared my throat, running a hand through my hair, still trying to gather my bearings. “Um, no, actually I haven’t, why?”

“Oh, it’s just that he came home about an hour ago, and his dad was here, with Brian, and he just sort of ran off. I’m really worried about where he’s gone and no one else seems to know. I know it’s a lot to ask, but would you have any idea where he is? You’re the only one I know that can really calm him down, and you know how he gets about everything.”

I blinked, feeling the fuzzy feeling return in the pit of my stomach. She didn't really have to say anything else, at this point. “It’s no problem, Ms. Evans, I’ll find him.”

“Thank you darling, that would be so helpful.”

As I murmured a goodbye and hung up the phone, Mason watched my every movement, his eyes asking the question I knew he was wondering.

“I have to go.”

“Was that about Chase?"

“I’m really sorry, Mason, I have to go," I repeated and pushed past him, crossing over to the door, feeling my stomach knot intricately. Too many things were happening at once.

“Are you really going to chase after him again? Really? You think it’s going to change anything?” His voice cut in the tense air, causing me to pause in the doorway, taking a deep breath.

Turning my head, I met his gaze. “I don’t know, Mason, I really don't, but I know I have to go.”