Homophobe

“Touch it.”
 
“No way, man. It’s all… ugly looking.”
 
“Just touch it, it won’t bite.”
 
“I’m sure you want me to touch it, obviously, but I’m not going to.”
 
“I do. Just do it! Come on! We both know you want to. Are you a pussy?”
 
“Nope, and neither is that thing that I am not touching, by the way.”
 
I swallowed, hard, and then took a deep breath. Staring down at it, I knew it was now or never. A part of me, and I couldn’t say how dominant that part was, really did want to touch it. While it wasn’t in anyway beautiful, there was something intriguing about it that begged for my touch. Mason watched me with an expecting gaze, gently taking a hold of my wrist and guiding it towards his lap. I couldn’t look straight into his light blue eyes, and instead averted my gaze below onto the thing. It seemed to be expecting me too.
 
Teeth digging forcefully into my bottom lip, another gulp of air, and Mason’s mouth curved into an amused smile. “C’mon, believe me, you’ll like it,” he reassured me, a softness in the depths of his eyes.
 
“Okay,” I breathed out.

And then I touched it.
 
“See! Look, Albert loves you!” He grinned cheerily at me. I pulled my face into something that looked a lot more like a grimace than the smile I was trying for.
 
As soon as my fingers brushed against the rough skin of the iguana, I immediately flinched back and made a face. It didn’t even move from his place on Mason’s lap, didn’t even give any indication he knew I was alive. Which was fine with me, because I didn’t really want it to be alive either.
 
When Mason first proposed the idea of me meeting his dear iguana- which he coddled and mauled like a baby, it was sickeningly cute- I thought it was a great idea. I’d never actually seen one before in person, and figured that any small, non-threatening lizard would be no match for me. I had my yellow belt in karate.
 
That was, until he let it out to run wild and free, the giant ass thing, right over my feet.
 
That thing looked like Godzilla the sequel. I didn’t care how girly I sounded- it was damn ugly.
 
Mason laughed at my obvious discomfort, picking up the monster and squeezing it into a hug. Honestly the way he looked at the thing was like a parent to a newborn, absolutely revolting.
 
“You disgust me, you and that thing,” I murmured, dumping myself on the couch while he brought it back to its home, a large terrarium that took up most of the wall it was pushed up against. He’d offered to let me feed it crickets before, but the last thing I needed was for it to mistake a finger for food. I felt a tug on my gag reflex at the thought. I wanted to keep all ten fingers for the time being.
 
“Don’t worry, he doesn’t mean that Bertie,” Mason cooed to the lizard while carefully placing it back inside, pure adoration melted in his eyes.
 
“You should’ve called it the thing from the black lagoon, would’ve been a lot more appropriate.”
 
He laughed, shaking his head
 
It had been a couple of hours since I first arrived on his doorstep, thoroughly nervous and ready to make a break for it considering how things went last time. Surprisingly, he hadn’t even brought up the entire Chase encounter and conversation flowed pretty easy. Whenever I did find myself at a loss for words, which wasn’t that surprising, he’d quickly kill the awkward silence that threatened with another one of his entertaining stories about something or another.
 
The more time I spent with him, the more comfortable I became, and it was nice to finally talk to someone that wasn’t already part of my daily routine- no longer shadowed by Chase or Layla, it was almost refreshing.
 
A buzz from my cellphone tore me away from that reverie, though.
 
“Who is it?” Mason asked while brushing his hands together, walking towards me.
 
I already knew who it was before even having to glance at the screen, and that was Chase. I’d lied and told him that my mother had grounded me once again- something she did every once in a while mostly because she wanted to spend some time with me, and apparently that warranted for house arrest. To be fair, multiple times I’d snuck out, but mostly because she made me watch some of the most boring movies.
 
I’d seen The Notebook more times than I could count and it wasn’t really helping my macho appearance that was already pretty much non-existent.
 
“No one,” I said coolly, or well tried to be as I slipped it back into my pocket after checking.

Chase, just as I expected.
 
I felt the cushion dip beside me from the extra weight added as Mason dumped himself onto it. “Oh yeah?” he asked with a playful doubt thick in his voice, a sly grin quirked on his lips and an arm hanging around the back of the couch.
 
“Mhmm,” I hummed, refusing to look him straight in the eye.
 
“Are you sure it’s not Mr. Tough Guy Too-Cool Soccer Player?”
 
I tried to bite back the smile at his nickname, and failed terribly because in essence that was exactly what Chase prided himself on being.
 
“Maybe.”

I shrugged, trying to play it off nonchalant but when his shoulder bumped into mine, I cracked, a chuckle off my lips. “Okay, yeah, it is. He’s sort of my best friend, if you didn’t know. Even if you guys do hate each other or whatever.”
 
It wasn’t exactly subtle, but I really had been trying to open up to it all day. Maybe get into a little of their history, without being too blunt about it, because the curiosity had been devouring me ever since that day. Out of all people who I would think to know each other, they were an unlikely pair.
 
Mason laughed, leaning back into the couch cushions and causing me to swallow the anxiety forming in my throat.
 
“You can just ask, you know. Don’t beat around the bush.” There was a teasing undertone to his voice that I picked up on, the amusement clearly laced into his words.
 
I could already feel my ears beginning to burn in embarrassment, suddenly finding an incredible amount of interest in the monster across the room. “I’m not saying you have to tell me or anything…” I mumbled, scratching the back of my head out of nervous habit.
 
“Just say it! Mason, what happened between you and Chase?” he said while leaning forward and trying to capture my gaze, something I very much denied him. I could only imagine the embarrassment I’d feel if I had to even take a glimpse into those mischievous ice-blue eyes.
 
“Mason…” I began, feeling incredibly stupid. “What did happen between you and Chase?”

I looked up to see a grin devouring his face.
 
“Well aren’t you a shameless bastard, eh?” He lifted to his feet, another adoring glance towards the scaly beast, and nodded his head towards the door. “Come with me and I just might tell you.”
 
When his back was turned, I gritted my teeth, somehow feeling even dumber than before. I’d just met the kid, and was asking him why he hated my best friend? What sensible person would tell, really. Not that I’d tattle anyways, mostly because that would completely expose me for the lying bastard I was.
 
But when he paused in the doorway, an encouraging smile casted towards me and him telling me to hurry the fuck up, I felt a little lighter. Maybe he would tell me, and I really did want to know. Him telling me really personal things- not just random stories, it’d feel more like a friendship, I guessed.
 
It was dumb, but I really wanted to be his friend.
 
Following him, we ended up in his room. Unlike the plain set up I had with only a dresser and a bed, and a flood of dirty clothes, his was the exact opposite- busy. Drawings consumed every inch of wall, from faces to scenery, sketches and paintings and everything in between. A desk had pencils and pastels alike strewn across it, paint splatters on the bed sheets, and on the far wall painted across it was a bench and a tree, incredibly life-like in the greyscale tones.
 
“Shit,” I mumbled, completely astounded.
 
“Welcome to the bachelor pad of Mason,” he said while stretching his arms out, gesturing to the entirety of it all.

Somehow, it didn’t surprise me. I remembered him mentioning that he was sort of an artsy kid but I never knew to what extent. To be honest, his entire room was sort of beautiful. Like a masterpiece itself.
 
“And you made all of this?” I asked in disbelief, still trying to absorb every last detail.
 
“Mhmm." He nodded his head, entirely unaffected by it all, barely giving any specific work a second glance. “Last time I checked, but I gotta ask you something, so come here.”
 
He beckoned me further into the room and only then did I realize that I’d been standing in the doorframe stunned. If there was one thing that Mason had, it was talent. I could barely make a stick person acceptable and I almost felt like the drawings were going to jump off the paper.
 
“Asher Matthews, I have something to ask you,” he said, his face completely void of any emotion. I quirked an eyebrow as he got down in front of me on one knee, taking one of my hands in his.
 
I blinked at him, confusion melding into my eyes. If someone was going to propose to me, I wanted a fancy ass dinner first.
 
He cleared his throat, looking up at me, our eyes locking. I gave him a puzzled look.
 
“Will you give me the honour of drawing you?”
 
I stared at him for a moment, unable to conjure up any coherent sentences or any useful words. Other than the clear one: “What?”
 
At my apparent confusion, he let go and completely dissolved into laughter, one of his hands clutching his stomach and the other clamped over his mouth, head shaking from side to side. I continued to stare, still having no idea what was going on. When he’d finally sobered up to produce actual words, he stood up and brushed off dust from his pants.
 
“Your face, fuck, your face man. That was priceless. It’s a tradition whenever I ask people, don’t ask. I don’t know why, I just do it. Don’t tell Layla though because she’ll totally bug me about it, but yeah, I wanna draw you!” His smile was earnest as he shrugged.
 
I took a moment to process it, still finding it wildly strange. “Um, sure, I guess. No one’s ever drawn me before but… yeah, I guess, if you really want to,” I rambled, emitting pure awkwardness, scratching the back of my head.
 
“Great! Don’t worry, I’ll totally capture all of your hotness.” He winked at me while falling onto the comforts of his bed. My eyes grew a little wider, the blush returning with a vengeance.
 
I never gave it any thought, but how exactly did Layla introduce me? I swallowed hard at the thought, she hadn't said anything about my sexuality, I didn't think. She’d never told anyone that went to my school before, but then she never really wanted to hook someone up with me as much as she did Mason, not seriously at least. As far as in the know of my gayness, only Layla was in that group, but I never really considered if Mason knew too?
 
“Hey, Mason, you don’t… you know, don’t you?” I murmured, feeling my cheeks flare up involuntarily.
 
He lifted his head. “Know what?”
 
“You’re… gay, and…”
 
Somehow, I couldn’t finish it. Mason picked up on my implications easily though, and came to a full sitting position, eyebrows knitting together.
 
“Yeah, and you’re saying that you are too, right? I figured, Layla didn’t really have to tell me, I could tell by the way you always talk about that Chase kid.”
 
My skin felt like it was actually going to burn off.
 
“I- I, what? Chase and I? You’re saying that I like him? Why… why would you… shit, is it that obvious?” I asked with a sigh, cupping my face in my hands while dumping myself on the bed next to him. Did that mean anyone else knew? I couldn’t even stomach the thought.
 
“Hey, c’mon,” he said, his voice surprisingly soothing as he gave my back a comforting pat. “I only can tell because I was right where you were. It’s not obvious or anything.”
 
“Mhmm,” I moaned, still not looking up.
 
“Legitemately, hey now. Wanna know why I don’t like him? Or well, more why he doesn’t like me? Will that cheer you up?”

I paused, and then nodded my head. Okay, that could cheer me up a little bit.
 
“I kissed him.”