Me and Oli Talking

Oli and I sit in this position; both on our knees, Oli’s face pressed against my shoulder, arms wrapped around my waist, hands clutching my shirt, one of my arms around the back of his head, and the other gently running my fingers through his hair. I don’t think anyone can understand how badly this hurt to see. My Oli! My intelligent, put together, never let anything get to him, Oli! He’s sobs are massive; shaking both me and him. My shirt is spotted with his tears and I don’t know what to do. I’ve never been very good at this, this whole comforting people thing. Even when the incident happened with my father, I didn’t know how to console my mother. So, I take a deep breath and, taking Oli’s face in my hands, look my best in the eye.

“Oli, shhh,” I brush his hair back from his face and thumb away oncoming tears, “Please, stop crying. Please.”

Oli sniffles and pulls his sleeve across his face, clearing it of his never ending trail of tears. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be a burden. It’s just..”

“Oli, shh! Stop, apologizing,” I interrupt, pulling him into another hug, “Just listen, okay?”

“Alright.”

“You cannot keep living there; living like this. You cannot possible continue to live in fear for the rest of your existence. No one should have to live like that. You are my best friend and I will not stand for this to continue. Do you understand me?” Before he could answer, I continue. “We have to tell someone, Oli.”

“You promised you wouldn’t!” He jolts up and looks at me, his face reflecting the fear in his voice.

“Don’t be stupid!” my voice raises unintentionally, “I am not letting the last good thing in my life be taken away from me because of something I could have prevented!”

Oli looks at me stunned. Then it hits me. Oli has never had anyone that cares for him like this. He’s never had anyone there to think of him. Oli is used to always thinking of others, of his siblings, leaving how he felt last.

“Oli, please, just hear me out.” my voice grows quiet with the my discovery. “I know that you always think of everyone else in that house. You never think of yourself. This is me thinking about what is going to happen to you. Let’s be honest, Oliver. You keep me together. You keep me from falling to pieces, from collapsing, from sitting alone in my room and thinking of all the horrible things that have happened and crying for days. You. Keep. Me. Sane. And as selfish as it sounds, I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

“So, you only want me around to make yourself feel better?” His face looks angry for an instant.

“NO! Please don’t think that! I want you around because you’re my friend. You’re the epitome of everything that is good in the world. You’re so bright and cheerful and to see you like this… it’s tearing me apart!” Oli’s eyes begin to tear up again and I hug him closer, letting my chin rest on his head, “We have to tell someone. We could do something. He’ll go away for a long time. I promise you won’t ever have to go through any of that again.”

“Can I think about it?”

“Can you promise me you will? My dad is almost gone, I can’t lose my best friend too.” I kiss his forehead, “Don’t do that to me, Oliver. Don’t you dare.”

Oliver nods furiously. At this moment my mother pops her head out of the door and yells for us to come eat. I call back to her and let her know that we’ll be in in just a moment.

I stand up and brush my knees off, “Come eat, please?”

Oli simply nods, so I begin to walk toward the building in which I call home. I make it about half a step before I realize I’m caught; Oli has a hold of my wrist. Looking back at him, I can see the sad look on his face that he’s attempted to hide with his bangs. He stands and, this time, he’s the one that pulls me into an embrace. My head fitting perfectly under his chin, I let his arms fall around me.

“Please, don’t change. For anyone.” I stiffen at his words, “I know you try. You try so hard to make everyone around you happy. Just try to look at it from my point of view. Your mother, our friends, they’ll all still love you just the same if you were just you. The real you. The you that you are when it’s just you and I hanging out in your room. The you that loves poetry and photography.”

“Oli, what are you talking-”

“No, it’s your turn to listen,” Oli interjects, “You are absolutely perfect. Everything you said about me keeping you sane, that’s you to me. Do you remember when I asked you about wanting to fly away?”

I nod.

“I have. Not just the thought of leaving this town or state. I’ve thought about leaving everything. Everything. Before our long afternoons and the photography and the movies. Before you moved here those thoughts were suffocating.” At this point, I’m crying silently against my best friend’s chest. “If you can promise you that you won’t ever change; promise me that you won’t abandon me, I’ll tell someone. I’ll tell them about everything. Just don’t leave me like everyone else has. Like mom and dad and the social workers.”

With the little breath I have left from the tears, I reply, “I promise.”