Waters of Disillusion

I've been keeping a list on what could possibly be worse than living in South of Nowhere, Alabama. It's taken about four years, but if I may say, it's not too shabby:

1) Being cursed with only the x chromosome. Honestly, how can you enjoy that monthly visitor? Not to mention, living in this poverty stricken, crime filled shitville makes you sleep with a can of pepper spray and a baseball bat in case some bastard step father or random lowlife tries to take advantage of you.

2) Getting absolutely no education because at the second worst school in the state, the students are higher than their grades. Always have been, always will.

3) The lack of privacy that accompanies living in a trailer- I'm sorry-"mobile home" park.

4) Any decent movies or CDs take about six billion years to reach any of the stores.

5) Ticks and fleas. Those bastards just suck the very life out of you in the summer.

6) Ma's chicken pot pie. I'll tell you what the secret ingredient is: she doesn't actually use chicken. One time I found a very large bone in my helping that I have yet to identify.

7) The summer. It gets so damn hot that you sweat even while taking a cold shower.

And finally, 8) Tyler Bellmont. This kid. The one who will buy you flowers "just because it's Tuesday and you're my best friend" and the next minute refuse to drive you home because "it's just too damn outta the way."

Worse still, he's been seeing Amanda Mae for the last eleven months and started cheating on her a month later. Amanda Mae knows he's cheating-'cause she sure ain't stupid- but she's too darn proud to not have a date for prom. And wouldn't it just figure that the other woman already has a moniker, miss "holier than thou," all because she's got a stupid city name?

This name. This damn name started it all.