Passed Out on Your Lawn

That was the best birthday I could have asked for - no questions.

Ronnie hadn't been speaking to me much but I kind of figured why. I thought Max and I were inseparable before but that word had taken on a whole new meaning since that day.

It was the third day back at school when things started to go wrong. Max had been dragged to some dentist appointment so I was waiting for the bus by myself when Ronnie pulled up.

"Need a ride?" he smirked.

"Uh, it's ok I can wait," I shrugged. I didn't want to be alone with him and my silent excuse was that we went to different schools.

"Get in, Dee, I won't take no for an answer," he smiled.

I wasn't about to make a scene so did as I was told.

“Thanks,” I spoke like everything was normal though the air between us was littered with uncertainty as it had been since my birthday basically.

“So, how’s things?” he asked pulling out.

“Not happy to be back at school, but you know,” I explained. “And um you? How’re you?”

“Oh well you know…fine,” he sighed.

Then it all went silent, which was the worst part...or that's what I thought.

“Just why? Why did you have to do it like that?” Ronnie cracked and I wanted to die.

“Do what like wh-“

“Not even explain, just go off with him like nothing happened with us?” he cut me off and it scared me.

I couldn’t even look at him.
“Nothing really happened with us though. You were just kinda acting weird,” that was definitely not the right thing to say but damn I didn’t know what to say, least of all how to say it.

“Acting weird? Is that what you call it?” his voice raised too much for my liking.

“Ronnie come on I’m shit at hiding how I feel. It was painfully obvious what I thought of him. I’ve never been though this, I didn’t know what to do when we had that date thing. I thought it was just a joke to you,” I tried to explain my stupidity.

“Why did you think it was a joke?” he glared at me.

“Cos nobody likes me! Just look at the state of me, I’m a massive loser!” the self-loathing came spilling out.

“As if that’s true! Max has been obsessed with you for months and that was painfully obvious.”
He pulled up outside my school but kept the doors locked probably just so he could keep shouting at me.

“Months?” I was astounded. “Obsessed?” stumped really described how I felt until it damned on me; “So if you thought he was obsessed with me for months why did you do this…pursue me, whatever you wanna call it? You’re meant to be his best friend!” I countered angrily.

“I figured if he couldn’t admit to anyone how he felt then he’d get over it. It's not my fault you couldn’t admit shit either. If he meant so damn much to you then why couldn’t you admit you’re fucking in love with him?” Ronnie finally actually yelled at me.

“I just told you! How could anyone really like me, I’m not fucking likable!” I yanked the lock on the door up successfully, threw the door open and slammed it shut.

“Dakota Ford you’re a self-obsessed bitch! Get over yourself! Get a fucking grip on reality!” Ronnie shouted after me through the window.

I fumbled for my sunglasses in my bag to cover the tears, which spilled uncontrollably. Rushing towards the main building I bumped into a whole load of people but I didn’t care, I just wanted to run away. Because of the screaming match I was late for first period.
My emotions had swung from upset to angry. Angry at what or who? Angry at everything and everyone.

“Miss Ford, nice of you to join us,” my Art teacher sneered.

“Enough of the personal stuff, just teach us,” I growled and took my seat.

I wasn’t usually like this towards authority figures but it no longer mattered.

“Would you like to take off the shades, Shaft?” she asked.

“No,” I snapped sitting back.

“Would you care to see the principal?”

“No, I’m not into wasting peoples time,” I huffed, continually defiant.

“Remove the shades, Dakota,” she ordered firmly.

“I can just walk back out,” I threatened.

“Can everyone get out their Matisse pieces and preferred materials,” the teacher caved and decided to ignore me.

Obviously I did hardly any work, Matisse didn’t motivate me ad I had no idea how I was going to go about this project.
Between classes I went to the bathroom and fixed my smeared eyeliner and mascara. One day I’ll get waterproof I swear.

Next lesson was History so I sauntered in casually and flopped into a seat.

“Hello Dakota, we’re going to have fun this year aren’t we,” my teacher peered over his glasses at me with his rhetorical question.

“Quit while you’re ahead, Whitely,” I grimaced and pulled my books out.

I heard the door slam open and looked up as Mr Whitely said, “Max Green, well, well, if you think that was subtle coming in late seconds after Dakota then think again.”

I stood up and my chair hit the desk behind it forcefully.
“Fuck this, I’m outta here!” I grabbed my books off the table and bags from the floor and stormed into the hallway.

“Wow, Dee what’s going on?” Max caught my arm and closed the classroom behind us.

“I’ve had enough of the bullshit teachers here man. I’ve had enough of this school and just people period!” I spat.

“Calm down, calm down,” he said softly and pulled me into one of those amazing warm hugs, “What happened? What’s put you in this mood?” he stroked my hair and I melted into him.

I didn’t really want to think about my fight with Ronnie but I couldn’t lie to Max.

“Is it your mom?” he pressed.

“No,” I whimpered.

He pulled back a little to look me in the eyes, “Then who or what as this about?” he pushed some hair from my face.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I replied.

“You’re gonna get in so much shit with the school if you keep this up. Tell me what’s up or go back in there,” even his ultimatum didn’t sound demanding.

“Baby please,” I scoffed with a raised eyebrow.

“Baby? Oh hell you did not just call me that,” Max laughed and squeezed my waist.

“It was a figure of speech,” I rolled my eyes and smiled.

“Will you talk about it later?” he compromised and pushed his nose to mine.

I sighed and closed my eyes, “Yes ok.”

“Good,” he kissed me quickly and we turned to the door just in time for Mr Whitely to open it.

“Are we coming to learn something or do you want a hall pass for your…kanoodleing?” he sternly glared at us.

“No Sir, we’re ready now,” Max nodded with a smile while I tried not to laugh.

“Kanoodleing,” I smirked quietly to myself as we were let back in the room. What a stupid turn of phrase.

We sat separately as the only seats available were across the room from each other, and this meant we actually did work like we were supposed to.

**

I refused to talk until we got back to my house, well about the Ronnie argument anyway. The bus ride was spent sharing the earphones to my portable CD player and sat silently.

“Ok, so spill,” Max prodded my shoulder as we sat down on my bed.

“Oh do I have to?” I pouted and flopped backwards.

“Yessss you have to,” he decided to sit on top of me and grin mischievously.

“Now isn’t the time for it if you plan to seduce me,” I smirked.

“Who said anything about seduction!” he gasped and moved off to sit on my pillows.

I sighed and turned onto my side, “Ronnie’s mad at me,” I sucked in a breath, “we had a fight this morning.”

“A fight? About what?” Max furrowed his brow and stared at me intently.

“About this mess I’ve made,” I looked down.

“Mess? What the fuck! There is no mess. I thought he was cool with us,” he seemed riled up now, with just cause I guess.

“So did I. Apparently not.”