I'm Just a Kid That Tried Too Hard

Christmas is my favorite time of year. It always has been. I always get really into it and decorate my entire apartment, complete with a tree and Christmas music 24/7. Macy, who is hardly a kitten anymore, likes to bat the ornaments off the tree. I laugh at her and put it back on the branch.

My phone buzzes to its Christmas ringtone Happy Holidays, You Bastard by Blink-182, obviously. Before I could get out a hello Ariel’s voice fills my ears. “GIRL! I GOT YOU THE BEST CHRISTMAS PRESENT EVER! OH MY GOD!” I laugh at her and tell her not to tell me. She huffs, deflated, and tells me she’ll see me later.

I’m throwing a Christmas party tonight before everyone goes home to their families. It’s a small gathering. It’s just Ross, his new girlfriend whom I have yet to meet, Ariel, Brad, Tyler, Patrice and his lady, Greg, and some girl he wants to bring. He didn’t specify on the relationship status.

Not that I care. Ever since I’ve gotten back with Brad, he all but pretended that I was never his friend. There goes my life with melodramatic boy drama. I still want him here tonight though. I go almost 19 years without it and now it just decides to fuck with me a little bit at a time.

I take the pineapple upside down cake out of the oven and my house is soon filled with that lovely aroma. I make sure everything is set before I go and get ready. I decide to dress up a bit and curl my hair up in some elegant manner with lots of bobby pins. I just manage to pull my dark purple dress that I picked up at a thrift store when the door rings
.
“Hey!” I say to Ariel, Ross, and a small mystery girl who is shyly standing behind the two. Ross beams back at the girl. “Devin, I want you to meet Carly.” He grasps her hand and pulls her forward gently. I inwardly gush at the two. They’re so cute together. I like her already.

I hug her lightly, “Hi! Welcome to my place, I hope you enjoy yourself.” She’s clearly shocked at my hug but hugs back anyways with a small thank you. I direct Ariel to bring food into the living room area with me. Carly volunteers to help as well. When we re-enter the area with the tree, Patrice and his girlfriend have joined the party.

“You must be Devin! I’m Stephanie.” The blonde pops up from the couch and hugs me. “I have heard SO much about you. I’m glad Brad finally has a girl to keep him in check.” She continues to gush. Well, hell, I like her too! I smile and talk with her a bit more. Patrice mingles with Ross a bit while Carly and Ariel play with Macy on the floor.

Brad and Tyler enter laughing, each with a cardboard box in hand. I excuse myself from Stephanie. Brad sets the box under the tree and turns around to greet me. “Merry Christmas Dev!” I return the phrase and wrap my arms around his neck for a kiss. He tastes like hot chocolate. My mind is already spinning with thoughts that I shouldn’t be having so early in the evening.

I step back. I have people over. Now is not the time to be thinking of banging my boyfriend.

He huffs playfully, knowing that I pulled away too soon. “Later” I mumble to him with a smile. I turn around to see that Greg and his lady friend have joined the group. I smile at him which he returns. The girl, clearly trying to intimidate me, clings to his arm just as tightly as her itty bitty dress clings to her.

Upon closer inspection I realize that she always hangs around after games hoping to get picked up, a classic puck bunny. I’ve also seen her on more than one occasion by some coke and other unknown substances right out in the open in front of my work. What the hell is Greg doing with her? He could have even the classiest of girls in the palm of his hand within two dates easily.

Whatever. His call. I smile again, this time it takes and effort, and greet them. It turns out this girl’s name is Natalie. “Nat for short” she practically spits at me. I raise my eyebrows at her before laughing it off. I ought to be polite for Greg’s sake. We all eat and joke around, besides Nat. Brad, while cracking jokes at basically everyone’s expense, traces patterns on my thigh under the table. It’s really cute.

Tyler turns towards Ariel. “So, do I ever get another dance or…?” He’s kidding, I think. Ariel jokingly glares at him before turning up her nose and dramatically moves her chair a few inches from him. He shrugs at the rest of us, “I try. You all saw that I tried. When she comes crawling to someday and I say no, you can all say I tried.” He finishes with a smile and we all laugh, except Ariel who looks at her plate and has a deep blush on her face.

We all move from the table to the floor by the tree. Nat doesn’t sit. Greg pats the spot next to him, “Nat, are you going to join us?” She shakes her head without looking up from her phone. He furrows his brow, “How come?” She looks up, “My friend just texting me saying she got my name on the guest list for the Ke$ha show that’s about to start. I’m out.” Without even saying good bye or a thank you for the food, she bails.

Greg looks at us and shrugs, “Sorry guys.” We all mumble out stupid things like “sorry” before moving on. It’s not like we’re actually sorry she’s gone.