Hang Me Up To Dry

Three weeks later, it was almost my birthday and John had been walking around the apartment for over an hour angry, taking it out on random things and drinking plenty of beer. He had finally agreed to meet an adoption agent and today was the day that we were going.

“You ready?” He asked blankly. I didn’t respond, just grabbed my bag and followed him to the car. “Just because we’re meeting with this person doesn’t mean anything,” he said as he pulled onto the road. “I still would like to keep my child.”

He got out of the car and before I got the door completely open, he was over on my side, opening it the rest of the way then helping me out of his low BMW. We walked hand in hand through the front door and his tension became greater and greater.

“Hello, I’m Teresa. You’re John and Rianne I presume?”

I nodded and smiled as she shook our hands and we sat down in front of her.

“I understand that you are looking for fitting adoptive parents for your child?” I nodded once again.

“Actually, I’m still trying to be sold on this whole idea,” John’s big mouth said.

“Oh? Well adoption isn’t for everyone; neither is keeping your baby. So you just want some more information on the whole process?”

“Sure.”

“Okay, well. How old are the two of you?”

“I’m almost nineteen, he’s twenty-two.”

“Okay are either of you employed?”

“I just graduated from my trade school and he has a career.”

“And you don’t think you’re physically and emotionally stable to care for your own child?”

“I know it sounds kind of selfish, but I’m about to start my career and having a baby will take away from that. And I can’t really count on John being there all year round.”

“I see. Many people come in here so they can give their children a shot at a better life than what they have to offer and for themselves to have better lives as well. Considering what I’ve heard about the two of you, I don’t think you’re in the same place as others in trying to provide for their kids. If the both of you do decide on adoption together, then I’ll see what I can do. But right now, it would probably be best if you go ahead and keep the baby as your own.”

Listening to what this lady had to say, she had a point. If we were younger and didn’t have at least one stable career, then yes, this would be the smart thing to do. But we weren’t. We were perfectly capable of raising our own child.

We got in the car but John didn’t have a smug I-told-you-so grin on his face. “I think we should give it up for adoption,” he said after sitting there for three minutes.

“What? I thought you were set on keeping him.”

“You were right. You’d be all by yourself at least half of the year and on top of that if you’re working… The timing is just all off and did you just say ‘him’?”

“I did. It’s a boy, John.”

He was silent for a moment, still sitting in the scorching hot car without the air conditioning on. “Wait just a damn minute, why are you so against me changing my mind now? Don’t tell me you’ve changed yours.”

“Actually I have.”

“Well shit, Rianne! Make up your mind! Maybe you should have thought of all this shit she was talking about before you dragged me down here.”

I waited a second while he turned the car on and calmed down. We still sat there in park.

“John, do you want to keep this baby?”

“You know I do…” He looked over at me and his eyes were hurt.

“Then we’ll keep him.” We leaned in to each other then he kissed me. “But first we have to find a larger place to stay.”

--John--

The next day, I was bringing the majority of Rianne’s belongings into my apartment because her rent in LA was up but her big furniture would be put into storage for now. She was sitting on the couch drinking some iced tea when I walked past her to put the heavy box in the bedroom. She looked so beautiful.

I set the box down and my phone buzzed then I checked my new message from Ross: ’Come over.’

I replied okay, told Rianne where I was going and headed over to my parents’ house. “John, I was going through you kids’ old baby stuff and I found some stuff that you might be able to use, like that old crib.”

“Okay Mom, we’ll think about it. Do you know where Ross is?”

“You always come in here looking for Ross. I feel like you never come see me or your father.”

“John,” I heard Ross say from behind me and nudge his head in the direction he wanted me to follow him.

“I have a feeling you didn’t call me over so we could hike the mountain behind our house.”

“You’re right, but I’d rather Mom not hear what we’re talking about. Or try to get involved.”

“Ross, did you kill somebody?”

“Nope.”

We reached the top and I was out of breath. Must be my smoker’s lung. I should really stop smoking. But hey, one thing at a time.

“Now, John, what I’m about to tell you may cause you to get angry, it might even cause you to hit me.”

“Does this have anything to do with Rianne?”

“Maybe, very possibly.”

“Why are you so infatuated with her? Why can’t you let her go?”

“The night before we picked you up from rehab, we kind of…had sex.”

I didn’t even hear him until I got my sight back. I felt incredibly hurt. But he was right. It did cause me to punch him. He braced himself for the worst and I knocked him clear across his face.

“If you must know, that’s why I can’t let her go,” he said while dabbing his bleeding lip.

I didn’t need to say anything or hear anything more, I just left him there and walked back to my car and drove down the street and stayed at the stop sign longer than I should have.

I couldn’t be mad at Rianne…she told me so herself that she thought we were over. But it still doesn’t make it okay for her to go and screw my brother.

But Ross on the other hand… He knew how I felt about her. He knew that I planned on being with her in the long run. She made life worth living for me.

While I was sitting at this stop sign, Shane got in my car. “Hey Shane.”

“Oh hey,” he said nonchalantly and I couldn’t help but smile at him. “Something the matter?”

“No. Why would you think that?”

“I don’t know. I was just sitting in my room and I saw you punch Ross smack dab in the mouth.”

“Oh. That. We were just playing.”

“John, I’m not a little kid anymore. You can tell me what’s happening in your life.”

“You really want to know?” He nodded eagerly as I spilled everything to him.

“Wow. I would have punched him in the face too.”

I chuckled slightly and started to drive off. “You want to go get something to eat?” I asked and he accepted.

We picked up some Carl’s Jr. on the way back to the apartment and Rianne was happy to see someone else besides me. Even though her face was drained and swollen, she still looked amazing. There was no way I could be mad at her. Hurt yes, but not angry. I was upset she didn’t tell me herself.

We got back in the car later on that evening to take Shane back home and once he was out, there was a shift in the air.

“John, I love you,” she said but it sounded like something was bothering her.

“I love you too.”

“There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while now…” She started and I let her continue. “I slept with Ross when we weren’t together. But it was one time and I have no idea why I did it…”

“I know.”

“How?”

“Ross told me today. I thought it was kind of weird how you guys told me on the same day.”

“Oh… Well are you okay?” She asked me, scared out of her mind.

“I was after I punched him. Besides, it’s not you I’m angry with.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. We weren’t together.”

“John?”

“Yep.”

“I love you.”

--Rianne--

“Happy birthday, baby,” John said and kissed me as he placed a small box in front of me.

“What is it?”

“Most people open things up to find out what they are.”

I glared at him and ripped the paper then lifted the lid off and inside was a key. I held it up to him with a confused look about my face.

“I wonder what it opens…” He said mysteriously.

“It looks like a house key.”

“Ah, but that’s where you’re wrong. It’s an apartment key.”

I smiled and rolled my eyes. “Same thing.” It was at this moment I realized what he said. “An apartment?” I exclaimed excitedly. “Where?”

“In Mesa. It’s temporary but it will do for the moment.”

I wrapped my arms around his neck and planted a kiss on his lips as my belly forced him to back up a bit.

“Dang girl, you gettin’ big.”

“What can I say? I have your child inside of me.”

“That sounds oddly disturbing,” he said and chuckled.

Later on that day, I was lying in bed and messing with my class ring that I’d found earlier. I had it on my right hand at first, but it was so swollen I moved it to my left ring finger and admired it. John came in then and lied next to me, seeing me playing with my ring and he took it from me.

“Heyyyy!” I whined.

“Quit your whining.” He twisted it around in his hands and looked at the different icons I had engraved. “It looks pretty.”

“It better be pretty; I spent $300 on it.”

“Speaking of $300…when am I going to get my money back?”

“Oh my God, seriously? You’re still on this?” I laughed along with him and he put the ring in his pocket as I eyed him suspiciously.

“Oh, my bad.” He took it back out and put it on my left hand as I crossed my arms.

“Trying to swindle me out of my things? I see how it is.”

“You caught me.” He put up his hands and walked out of the room as I lied on my side and used my hands as a pillow, but the ring was poking me so I took it off. Only it wasn’t my class ring, but instead a shiny, silver diamond ring.