Hang Me Up To Dry

We moved into our new apartment about five minutes away from our old one and Sam was staying with us for the summer. John had grown fond of her, but I wasn’t the only reason she wanted to be here all the time. She had found a new romantic interest in Ross. She was hardly even hanging around me anymore. I felt kind of used.

Oh yeah, the engagement ring.

-Flashback, Two Weeks Ago-

“John…this isn’t my class ring,” I said and walked into the living room where he was sitting.

“It’s not? Whaaaat?” He said unenthusiastically while smiling then he winked at me.

“What is this?” I smiled back.

He stood up and walked over to me and held both of my hands then swung them slightly.

“I wanted to propose somewhere where there was no pressure. We eat Hot Pockets for dinner for crying out loud. If I took you to a nice restaurant, you’d be expecting something. So I’m proposing here, in the comfort of our apartment.”

“Um, you haven’t asked and I haven’t said yes.”

“Oh, my bad.” He got down on one knee and took the ring out of my fingers. “Rianne Michelle Martin, would you do me the extraordinary honor of marrying me?”

“Who are you? Edward Cullen?” We laughed then I looked down at his meaningful eyes. I could have cried with how much intensity was going on between us.

Truth be told, I’ve never even thought of marrying him, after getting pregnant and all. We were both so young. But if we were having a baby, why not get married too?

“I will marry you. Now the question is will you marry me?”

“The girls aren’t supposed to ask the guys.”

“Well get over it.”

He smiled and stood up then kissed me. “You know I’ll marry you.”

“Do I?”

“Wanna bet on it?” He joked and I shoved him.

“Not funny.”

“I thought it was.” He held my hand and we went out on the balcony and started kissing.

-Present Day-

I had a plate of carrots and grapes resting on my stomach as I laid on the couch watching TV when John stormed in through the room and slammed the bedroom door. Sam and I just stared at each other.

“John?” I called from the other side of the door after the five minute adventure it took to get off the couch.

A few seconds passed and he opened it and pulled me in. “So you know how we’ve been fucking recording our new record for the past fucking month?” I nodded. “Well Warner Brothers decides they want to fucking drop us if we don’t make the music they fucking want. We’re trying to grow and get away from the Can’t Stop Won’t Stop sound but they won’t fucking let us.”

“I think you should do want you want, regardless if anyone likes it or not.”

“But they’ll drop us.”

“So? You’re going to let one record company tell you how to run your own show? Come on, John. You’re being a puss.”

He smiled as I stroked his back. “So what are we going to do now?”

“I think you should talk to your band about that.”

“What do you think we should do?”

“Well the only way you’re going to be able to make the music you want the way you want, you’d have to start your own label.”

“That’s not a bad idea.”

“Of course it’s not. Hello, I came up with it.”

****

It was now the beginning of August and I was a frightening seven months along. I met John a year ago today and I was kind of getting nostalgic. I started remembering the good and the bad times we had together. Dang, we’ve broken up twice since then.

About two weeks ago, The Maine established their own label Action Theory and they wanted me to record their album. Do you know how much stress I was under? With the baby just around the corner? And now this?

Regardless, I was in the studio with them every single day for a month until it all came together. Unfortunately, we had to record all the way in El Paso. It felt weird being so close to home, yet so far away.

“Where are you?” My mom said over the phone once we were done for the day.

“El Paso.”

“What the hell are you doing there?”

“I’m recording the guys’ new album.”

“What?! You’re seven months pregnant! Stop working!”

“We’re almost done…”

“You’re trying to give your mom a heart attack!” She breathed out and continued. “Anyway, I just wanted to tell you I moved into my new house.”

“New house? Where did you move to?”

“Tempe, you crazy! I need to be as far from your father as I can.”

So she needs to be near me… “And Ryan?”

“He’s here too. I moved here to help you out with the baby. I’m not going to stay a day away from my grandson. Speaking of which, do you have any names?”

“Nope, not yet. We’re just focused on painting and furnishing right now.”

“Time’s almost up, Ri.”

As if on cue, John walked up to me when I hung up with my mom. “So I was thinking…”

“About what?”

“John.”

“Why were you thinking about yourself?”

“No, our child. John Cornelius O’Callaghan VI.”

I smiled and stroked his face. “That’s cute, John. But I was thinking along the lines of Caleb or Kyle or something like that.”

“But…But my family line… The first son is supposed to resume the name.”

“Wouldn’t it be kind of confusing having two Johns around the house?”

“We could have a little nickname for him… Like JC. Or Junior.”

“I don’t know, John. We’ll talk about it later.”

A few days later, we were done with the mixing of the new CD and were headed back home, only to find Ross and Sam on our couch making out. Fantastic.

“Rianne…John… I didn’t expect you back so soon.”

“I can see that,” I said and smiled. Ross looked at me but it wasn’t the same ‘I love you’ look he used to give me. Finally, he’s over me.

Two seconds after they straightened up their clothes, my mom and Ryan came in. No one bothered to knock.

I missed Ryan. I hadn’t seen him in months. He ran over to me and gave me a hug, careful not to run into my stomach.

“He looks exactly like you…” John whispered in my ear.

“Shut up, he does not.”

“Rianne!” My mom called. She was in the kitchen already. I didn’t even see her get past me. I walked in there to see what she wanted and she was beaming.

“What’s wrong with you?”

“I woke up this morning with the most wonderful idea.” I waited for her to continue. “I think you should name him John, after your dad, John and his dad.”

“There are so many Johns in this family,” I laughed and began to seriously think about it. It was one thing for John to suggest it because it was his own name, but for my mom to was something else.

John Cornelius O’Callaghan VI. JC for short. Eh, it was kinda growing on me.

It was now mid-September and my due date was less than two weeks away. I was so scared.

I haven’t really thought about what it was going to be like when the baby was born, now to be known as JC, and now thoughts were creeping into my brain that I couldn’t be the best mother I could be. If those kids on Teen Mom could do it, why couldn’t I?

I walked into the bedroom and John was putting pieces of paper into his binder.

“More poems?” I asked and laid next to him.

“Yep.” He seemed detached from me, like he didn’t want me around him at the moment. Which was reasonable, I need space from him too. “Hey Rianne?” He said after a moment and I looked up at him. “I love you, don’t ever forget that.”

“I wasn’t planning on it. And I love you too.”

“I know.” He smiled at me with his beautiful face then kissed my forehead. He got off the bed and moved out to the balcony to light up a cigarette then leaned his elbows against the railing. He looked like he had so much on his mind.

I didn’t blame him… Little John was right around the corner. Ready or not, he was coming.

-September 30, 2011-

Today was my due date and JC still made no sign that he was ready to come out. So all I could do was sit and wait.

Truth be told, I was ready for him to get out of my stomach so I could get my body back as soon as possible. I missed wearing cute clothes and platform heels. Those were my thing. But no, I was stuck wearing stretch pants and peasant tops. So not me.

John had been acting more distant than normal up until two days ago. He barely looked at me and when he did, he seemed pained. Made it seem like he didn’t want this. But he’d turned things around just in time for his son’s arrival and became more involved in my feelings.

“You ready to go?” He poked his head in the door as I slipped on my moccasins. He had an adorable smile on his face – something I had missed quite terribly.

I held my hand out for him to grab and he gently pulled me off the bed and wrapped his arm around my waist. His touch sent shivers through my skin letting me know that he was there for me.

“Are you scared?” He grabbed my hand tightly as he pulled out of the parking lot then kissed it reassuringly.

“Terrified. What about you?”

“I’m ready. I think deep down I’ve always been equipped to be a dad, just not this early on in life. But now that it’s here and you’re here with me, I’m ready.”

“You’re so beautiful.” I burst out in tears of joy as he looked over at me like I was insane. He didn’t ask questions, just stroked me in support. Must be the hormones surging through my body at lightening speeds. “I love you so much.” I reached over and started making out with him as he tried to keep his eyes on the road but kept swerving all over the place then I stopped myself for my own safety. I have got to get a hold of myself.

We arrived at the hospital moments later and I was put in a wheelchair. Why? I don’t know. John wheeled me back to a delivery room and once we I was in the ugly gown, they induced me. Now I wish they wouldn’t have. The pain that ensued was indescribable. And I wasn’t even giving birth yet. Oh God kill me now.

John, the beautiful man… I hated him so much right now for doing this to me. For revenge, I squeezed the fuck out of his hand but he acted like it didn’t bother him. Fuck.

Once I was finally dilated enough to push a baby out of my vag, I couldn’t take it anymore so I asked for an epidural. Anything as long as I didn’t feel like this anymore. It felt like my bottom lip was being pulled over my head and back around again. Wait, worse.

While I was pushing John didn’t take his eyes off of me. I was so grateful he was my baby daddy.

An hour of birthing passed and the doctor finally said she saw the head. About damn time! I pushed like it was nobody’s business and after I could hear things again, all I heard was the sound of my child screaming and crying.

“Rianne…” John said in wonderment as the nurse who cleaned him off handed him to John.

“Let me see!”

Carefully handing him over to me, I lightly ran my hand over his head and kissed his forehead.

I heard a sniffle and seeing that JC was now quiet, I looked up at John. “Are you crying?”

“No, I just…”

“You’re crying!”

“Shut up.” He wiped his eye and knelt beside me.

“John, this boy doesn’t have a penis.”

“What do you mean? Is there something wrong?”

We looked up at the doctor who came back from washing her hands over at the sink. “Nothing’s wrong, you gave birth to a baby girl.”

“What the fuck?! Why did you tell me it was a boy?”

“Must have been a finger.”

I groaned. I didn’t want a girl. Now I’d have to deal with periods and teen pregnancy scares. And I didn’t even have a name picked out! Damn doctors.

We went home the next day still with no name in mind.

“What about Jane?” John suggested while popping two hot pockets into the microwave.

“No, not the feminine version of John,” I sighed as I scrolled through the list of names. “Oh here we go, what about Effie?”

“Effie. Effie. Different… Caroline?”

“Caroline? That’s okay I guess.”

“Effie Caroline O’Callaghan.”

“No, I don’t like that,” I said and sighed. “We are just not going to find a name for her… Aria?”

“I like Ray as a middle name,” he suggested randomly. “Effie Ray, Aria Ray…”

“Not Aria Ray, but Effie Ray sounds nice. Ooh, cowgirl names. Cheyenne, Sierra.”

“Wait a second, Effie Ray,” he said. He walked over to me and gently took her out of my arms and looked at her.

“John, she was sleeping.”

“Who? Effie Ray?”

I rolled my eyes. “Is that what her name is now?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact it is.”

He handed her back to me and I agreed with him. Effie O’Callaghan.