Hang Me Up To Dry

It was February twenty fourth, the day I needed to be at the studio. With Effie in my arms, her pulling lightly at my hair, I opened the door and walked into the control room to set her up in a corner on top of a pile of blankets and near her go-to toys. I saw through the window Pat setting up his drum set and Jared tuning his guitar. Kennedy and Garrett were stringing wires everywhere but John wasn’t in sight.

I looked over at Effie squeezing her teddy bear and her pigtails bouncing around and when I looked back up into the studio, John was there. Only now I felt sick to my stomach. He wasn’t alone. Caty Dobbs had her arms wrapped around his torso then kissed his cheek before she sat at the love seat. Maybe he didn’t want to get back together after all.

He waved at me through the window and I waved back but felt like waving my middle finger instead. I decided against it.

I sat there mostly while they were figuring things out and towards the end of the day, they’d finally put something together to let me hear.

“That was good. Ken, I think you should go down to A after the C instead of straight to G.”

He nodded and tried it on his own and I couldn’t take my eyes off of Caty. She pissed me off so much. And now she was stealing my man. At least I was prettier than her.

“Um, I think that’s it for today,” John said. “We’ll continue on Sunday. I have things to do until then,” he smiled to himself as he sat next to the bitch.

Not on purpose, I loudly moved around the control room getting everything together, almost making a scene to get out of there. I needed a drive to get my mind off of things. Off of Caty. Off of John. On my way out I slammed the door and cried as I strapped Effie in the car seat.

I took off down Highway 60 and drove until I got out of town. I was almost to Gold Canyon when I abruptly pulled off the side of the road because I couldn’t see to drive. It was almost sunset and I looked back at Effie and told her I’d be right back, even though she didn’t know what the devil I was saying.

I went around to the front of my car and leaned against the hood as I heard a car pull behind mine. I looked back and all I saw was a cloud of dust, then that same familiar silhouette got out of the car and walked towards me. Déjà vu took over as I thought about the night I met him.

“Do I even need to ask?” He asked close enough to where I could see his amused face.

“Am I overreacting or are you deliberating killing me slowly?”

“You’re overreacting. Look, I don’t know what’s going through your mind right now but I’m pretty sure if you knew the truth there would have been no need to come all the way out here.”

“John, I’m in love with you. So much. I tried to fight it and protect you.”

“From what? Why do you keep running from me? And don’t tell me because you’re scared.”

“But I am.”

“Jesus Christ, Ri. I’ve never loved anyone like I love you and that scares the shit out of me, but you don’t see me running, making excuses.”

“I’m not making excuses.”

“Really? Why are you running this time?”

“You’re fucking Caty!”

He looked at me like he expected the conversation to go anywhere but there. “Caty? That’s gross.”

“She was the one hanging all over you and kissing your cheek today.”

“She didn’t kiss my cheek; she whispered ‘thank you’ to me because I was going to introduce her to Kennedy… Who she wants to be with.”

I covered my face with my hands and tears came out of my eyes still then he pulled me into a tight hug and I fit my head in the crook of his neck.

“Now, will you come home? I kind of miss you and Effie. But mostly Effie.”

I shoved him and he cupped his hands around my neck and brought my face to his to kiss me. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he said then kissed me again. “We have four months to make up for.”

“Should we get started on that asap?”

“Oh, most definitely.” He chuckled and enveloped me in his arms as he picked me up then kissed me while my feet were in the air. “By the way, you look amazing.”

“Well don’t you know all the right things to say?”

He shrugged and smiled then put his arm around me as he opened my car door. “See you at home.” He kissed me again before he shut the door.

I kept looking in the rearview mirror on the drive back to the apartment. I kept seeing him. On the outside I was calm, cool and collected but on the inside… On the inside I was about to erupt.

We got back to the apartment in a timely manner and quietly and calmly put Effie in her crib then she quickly fell asleep. As soon as he shut the door softly, I attacked him. Somehow I was in the air, wrapping my legs around him as he was pinned against the wall. He started walking, fumbling to open the door while simultaneously holding onto me then I was casually thrown on the bed like a piece of clothing.

“It feels like forever,” he said as he forcibly removed my shirt from my body.

“Don’t talk.”

I pulled him down and sat on him then started making out with him, moving from his mouth to his neck and back again. He pulled his shirt off in one quick motion then he rolled over on top of me and continued where we were.

It was like the first time all over again. We were so caught up in the moment we didn’t realize the pain we were inflicting for each other nor did it even seem like it was pain.

After our nap from exhaustion, I woke up with my arm across his chest and I saw that there were red marks on my stomach and sides and there were scratches on his. Daaang.

There was a knock on the door then, and as I was thoroughly indisposed, I threw on the closest thing I could find which was John’s long plaid shirt. Pat and Garrett were on the other side of the door with concerned faces.

“So, um, when we moved in next door, he didn’t tell us that you guys’ bedroom was against our kitchen. So is…everything…okay? Is anyone dead or bleeding?” Pat asked awkwardly.

I chuckled. “No, why?”

“Because it sounded like someone was getting murdered,” Garrett blankly said.

I turned red and smiled. “No, we’re all good here. But thank you!”

I closed the door gently and leaned against the door as John was walking towards me with the sheet tucked around his waist.

--John--

-Flashback-

So many times I’ve wanted to call her. I kept looking at my phone, twirling her ring around my fingers but I couldn’t bring myself to it. I couldn’t talk to her now that she thinks I don’t want to be with her. How do I explain myself to someone after they’ve already made up their mind?

I typed so many messages and deleted them, called her so many times but immediately hung up, and drove to her mom’s house and back countless times. But she didn’t want me.

-End of Flashback-

Rianne was leaning against the door wearing only my plaid shirt. Her long, wavy brown hair reached almost her belly button and her bedroom eyes stared at me as I was walking towards her.

“Who was that?”

“Pat and Garrett.”

“Oh, they moved in next door,” I said and wrapped my arms low around her waist.

“Yeah I put two and two together.” She closed her eyes as she kissed me softly. “I missed you.”

“Who wouldn’t?” She opened her eyes wider and scoffed then shoved me. “I missed you as well.”

“That’s what I thought you said.” She squeezed me tightly then grabbed my arm and dragged me over to the couch, putting her legs on top of mine as I ran my fingers down her right leg. “Was I really your first or were you just lying to me so I’d sleep with you?”

“I swear to God you were.”

“Then what happened with this Caty bitch?”

“Absolutely nothing. She was under the impression that something would eventually happen, but when she got the idea, that’s when we drifted, I guess you could say.”

“Why me?”

“Why you what?”

“Why was I the one who made you change your values?”

“I don’t know. Something always felt real with you. I knew you weren’t in it because of who I am; you could care less. I think it was because I could see myself with you.”

“Sipping lemonade on the porch with gray hair right?” She laughed and held my hand lightly.

“Don’t forget about our grandkids running around.”

“How could I?”

I brought her closer to me then kissed her forehead and just held her against me. “You still wanna marry me?” I asked suddenly and she put her hand on top of mine.

“Never stopped wanting to.”

“Today?”

“How about in August.”

“Fineee,” I sighed and kissed her again. “Did you hear about Ross and Sam?”

“Yeah… Didn’t really work out. But I don’t think he’d go back to me.”

“At least he wasn’t trying to steal you away from me again.” I sat there for a moment. “Wait, if Kennedy was your favorite in the band, who was Sam’s favorite?”

“It was a tie between you and Pat.”

“Reeeally?” I stroked my chin and she giggled. “Don’t flatter yourself. As soon as she learned about us, she immediately devoted all of her interest to Pat.”

“Damn, that’s a shame. Because if things didn’t work out with you…”

“Shut up. Oh and by the way, she’s coming here for her spring break. Can I trust the two of you?”

“Yabsolutely.”

She looked at me funny but shook her head then Effie started crying.

“Maybe I should put some pants on…” She said as she got up.

“No, you look great.”

“Of course you would say that.”

--Rianne--

I walked into the bedroom and put on some booty shorts before walking into Effie’s room and tying up my hair. Her room reeked of poop so after I changed her, I sprayed the handy dandy Febreeze into the fan as it dissipated. I put her on my shoulder so she’d stop crying and John walked in wearing actual pants and instantly fanning away the smell.

“Oh God… Did something die in here?”

“Nope, what are you talking about?”

“Nothing.” He took her from me and she immediately stopped crying and smiling, reaching out for him.

“Oh sure. She likes you.”

“What can I say? I’m the best.”

“Have you always been this conceited?”

“Pretty much.”

I leaned against the railing of the crib as he lifted her into the air and after a moment, Effie said, “Dadda.”

“Did she just speak?” I asked.

“I think so! She said Dadda!”

“Why is Dadda always the first word…” I mumbled. “I birthed the darn girl!”

“She doesn’t know that yet.”

He hugged her close and encouraged her to say it again. Luckily, I got out my phone and videotaped her and she said it again. Gold.

You know you’re a parent when the simple day-to-day things are what make life worth living.