By The Way

I have not slept in days. He’s all I think about. I miss him too much, he was my everything; my world. And it had to take as much as him leaving me to have myself realize how much he truly meant to me.

I looked over at the white shelf I had set over my desk with all the pictures of us. That was one thing we loved to do; take pictures together and make cheesy little slide shows of us. We’d post them on Youtube in hopes to have us become internet famous one day. But our most popular video only hit one hundred twenty four views. We often got called faggots but that was the least of our concerns since we knew it would happen eventually.

Dust began to cover all those photos, all those memories. Soon, I’d have to get rid of them but I wasn’t sure if I’d had to courage to do it. I’d miss all these moments too much.

Rory, it’s just so hard to believe you’re gone. I would end my life for you, if that’s what it took for you to realize how much I love you. I want to see you again; I want to hold you again. I want to press your luscious lips to mine in a passionate kiss. But you already have a new boyfriend, you’ve moved on. I’m nothing to you anymore.

I never even got a goodbye. I got an “I’m sorry” but that’s not enough. A simple last hug would have been all I asked for; just one last feeling that would prove to me that you were once mine. But since all I got was a simple note, I guess I’m left with nothing to do but think of you. I don’t mean to seem obsessive, but nobody could ever replace the boy I once loved. No, still loved.

I shook my head, moving aside my thoughts. I need to move on and forgot about him. There’s plenty of fish in the sea.

Crawling out of bed, I trot downstairs into the kitchen. My parents were home now but they
had no idea what happened between Rory and I. It’s better that they don’t know now.

I popped a piece of bread into the toaster. School was today which honestly, I was excited for. I had my friends there. Which technically only was three people, but either way, they’d be enough to keep me happy.

Once my toast popped up, I grabbed it out of the toast and within seconds, ate the whole thing in just a few bites. I grabbed my school bag, slung it over my shoulder, and just as I was about to walk out the door, my mother came running into the room.

“Where are you going? You’re not even dressed and your hair is a mess!” She runs to my side, beginning to comb out my hair with her fingers.

I sigh, “My friends won’t care.”

“I don’t want child services coming after us!”

“Don’t freak. I’m seventeen; they can’t do shit.” And with that, I slammed the door shut behind me and walked to school.

The school day was terrible. Two of my friends were out, which left me with no one but Johnny to talk to. He’s an okay friend, but at times, he can be a bit of an asshole. Besides him, all day, I’ve been seeing Rory with his new boyfriend everywhere. I was so close to skipping the rest of the school day, no joke.

I was currently sitting on the steps in front of the school, my cheeks both cupped in my hands. I had my hood up with my black hair streaming over my eyes. It was currently raining but I didn’t mind. The rain felt good.

Rory popped into my head once again. Whenever I miss him, I imagine him being in my arms once again, holding him to my chest. The thing is, I knew it wasn’t real. He seemed more like just a vivid memory. When I dream about him, it doesn’t seem real either.
Out of irony, Rory and his boyfriend appeared out of the corner of the building. I needed to do something, I couldn’t stand here anymore.

I ran up to them, “What the fuck is wrong with you? Rory, I fucking loved you!” tears stained my eyes, “It’s only been three weeks! The pain is killing me. You’re killing me without you with me.”

“I…I-“ Rory begins.

“No, don’t even talk! I don’t even care if your boyfriend beats my ass anymore.” In that moment, I slapped Rory as hard as I could across the face and then, my voice rose. “You never even said goodbye to me!”

I became as moody as ever, like a teenager on some type of wacky drug. At one moment, I was yelling. But now, I’m crying my eyes out, running down the street. I couldn’t do this anymore.