Revenge

I sat on the stairs, tears dripping from my eyes. I hear his footsteps behind me.

“What’s wrong? Did I do the wrong thing?”

I wipe my eyes and put my nail into my mouth. I keep my head down, staying silent. He sits down beside me. I see that he’s wearing the orange and green thongs I got him for his sixteenth birthday last year.

“Babe?”

I can’t look at him. It’s not his fault, it’s all mine. He wouldn’t understand! Would he?

“Come on, babe, we’ve been dating for over a year now. You can tell me what’s wrong!”

I look at him. Then, with a croaky voice, I say “it’s not your fault. I promise, it’s not your fault.”

I look back down at the step; back down to avoid his eyes, the eyes I know are sad and longing to pull the painful memories from my mind. The tears come again, just like they do whenever I think about telling him.

“What’s not my fault?” I can hear the sadness in his voice, the sadness of not knowing what the love of his life is upset about.

I shake my head. I can’t tell him! He’ll call me a liar!

But that’s what I am, isn’t it? A liar! I lied to him. And that lie is what made him my boyfriend. So the lie wasn’t all bad, was it?

“Tish! Please tell me what’s wrong!” He says, putting his arm around my shoulder.

I look at him. It’s the first time he’s said my name since we left this morning.
I feel the tears flow over my cheeks.
I have to tell him! I have to, or it’ll just get worse!

“I lied Bobby. I lied and I’m SO sorry.” I say with the tears coming heavier now.

Bobby takes his arm away from me and stands up, leaving me with a cold feeling, like I’ve gone from the best thing in his life, to the worst.
I see his face, and he looks angry.

“WHAT? What did you lie about? Loving me?” I can hear the rage in his voice now, but there’s something else in there, sadness maybe? “I never lied to you! I trusted you. I trusted you with my deepest secrets! I thought you understood the meaning of truthfulness!” He looked like he was going to cry. I have to tell him! I have to tell him the lie!

“No! I didn’t lie about that! I do love you! I do understand the meaning! I lied about something else, something else entirely!” Why is it so easy to lie, but so hard to tell the truth of the lie? “I lied about -”

God, I couldn’t get it out.

“About?” Bobby sounded irritated, but slightly relived that I hadn’t lied about loving him.

“- About doing it before.” It came out faster than I’d hoped for, but out none the less.

“Wait, what?” His irritation was taken over by confusion. “It? That’s what you’re calling that?” He points back up the stairs, to the room we came out of, the evidence of what we did still on the bed.

“Yes! That is what I’m calling THAT!” I need to lower my voice. We can’t let anyone know that we’re out here. “How can you act like it was nothing? Like what we just did doesn’t feel wrong?” My tears and sobbing have stopped, making me realise how quiet it is.

“I told you, I was brought up around this stuff. This is who I am. I thought you understood that when we first met. When you lied to me! Why? Why would you lie about it? Did you think people would think better of you? Think you’d make more ‘friends’ that way?” The anger was back, anger mixed with… understanding?

“I just thought…” What did I think? Why had I done it? Oh, that’s right, to get into his ‘crowd’, to get to know him. “… If I had done it before, then you would like me. That you’d talk to me. And you know what? It worked. You don’t just like me, you love me, and we talk every day. I just… I didn’t want to be the loner, the outsider, like I was at all the other schools that I’ve been to. And that lie, it got me friends. It got me everything I ever wanted at school. But you know what else? Out of all of it, you’re the only thing I care about now. And just so you know, Marvolio Roberts, I haven’t told anyone your secrets.”

Wow, that sounded a bit harsh. But he started it. The tears threaten to fall again.

“I knew you lied! I always knew! But we’ve done it before. Why is it so different this time to the others?” He shot me a glare. His voice going softer, he added, “Why does this feel wrong to you?”

I was… shocked? Was that how I felt? I didn’t have much to say to that, all I could do was open and close my mouth with no words coming out. “I… I… I don’t know.” It came out in barely a whisper. “I guess because… well… because…” How do I tell him about Geoff? About how I knew more of these people then he thought? “… I knew them, I knew Geoff, I knew Maria, I, I even knew Brad. But it feels wrong this time, because I didn’t know them, I didn’t know if they deserved it or not.” That felt better. I finally got it out.

Bobby came over to me and pulled me into a tight hug. “I knew him, okay? I knew him and he deserved it.” The tears begin to fall again, but I manage to keep the sobs at bay. “Shhhhh, shhh, it’s okay Tish, it’s okay.”

I grab him tighter, and he places a kiss upon my head.

“Come on, we need to go clean up, before Mr Park finds out we’re missing.”

I nod my head, wipe my eyes on my sleeve, and let Bobby help me up. We walk back to the room, hand in hand, and act as if nothing happened. Before we open the door, I turn and say to Bobby, “thanks, for all of this.” I lean up and kiss him, then whisper into his ear “can Jacob be next?”

I pull away and see the sly smile playing on Bobby’s lips. “Of course, Tish. Anything for you.”

I smile at that. He leans down and kisses me again, then with another sly smile opens the door.

Wow, we made a mess this time! But lucky for us, the bed had red sheets, or maybe we had just stained them that way. We move around the bedroom, picking up our ‘tools’, wiping away our prints, and vacuuming, just the usual after a night like this. But the last thing we do is position the stiff, doll like body into a very embarrassing position, take a photo, and close the door behind us as we leave.