Retrouvailles

All of Loren’s hoping couldn’t stop the Pittsburgh media from hounding Sidney about her. Stuck between a rock and a hard place (outing her to the entire hockey world versus lying about her and keeping her a secret), he ignored each question and answered as if he’d been asked something entirely different. He didn’t have a girlfriend, the Flyers had just ended the series right when his team was starting to get hot. Her name wasn’t Loren Hamilton, but of course they were disappointed with the way the season ended. There was always next year, and that was all he’d confirm.

He sighed as he shoved the last of his things into his bag. It was day one of the off-season and already he was miserable. Starting the summer early was bad enough, but to have it come at the hand of the Philadelphia Flyers was absolute torture. Knowing they were probably laughing it up with his girlfriend at his expense made his blood boil in ways he hadn’t known were possible.

“Sidney!” He turned slowly, trying to mask the agitation on his face, but it was useless. Vero’s eyes softened at his expression and she immediately wrapped him in a hug. “How bad?”

“Pretty bad,” he answered.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what I’m going to do with Marc-André.”

Sidney just nodded, not knowing what else to do. As captain he’d never throw a teammate under the bus or blame them for a loss, but it was no secret that Flower hadn’t played his best hockey. None of them did, and now they were facing the consequences.

“Make sure he knows we all have his back, eh?”

Vero flashed a sympathetic smile. “Of course. I think he will be okay in a few weeks.”

“Just in time to get married.”

“Oui,” Vero agreed, “which is why I wanted to speak with you.” Sidney raised an eyebrow; he couldn’t imagine why Vero would want to talk to him about their wedding. “I was wondering if you could give me Loren’s address.”

“Loren’s? Why?”

“I am going to invite her, Sidney.”

“Wouldn’t she just be my plus-one?”

“No! Mon dieu, you men are so clueless sometimes!” she scolded. “Women like to feel welcome, Sidney. While I am sure she would love to be your date, she does not know the rest of us that well.”

Sidney opened his mouth to reply but no words came out. Vero had been there since the beginning, having been with Flower since they were just teenagers, and she’d seen countless WAGs come and go. She was the mother of the group, always helping Marc’s teammates with their relationship woes. Some of the women stuck around, but with the good came the bad—the gold diggers, attention seekers, those who only dated one teammate to get to another—and it made her weary. Vero had a hard time trusting the women she shared a title with, so for her to go so far out of her way to make Loren feel included was a big deal.

“Thank you,” Sidney said quietly as he hugged her again. “I’ll text it to you, yeah?”

Vero nodded. “Do not be too hard on her, Sidney. She may love you, but she has no idea what she’s doing right now. This is all new to her.”

“I know.”

With an empathetic smile, Vero squeezed his arm before leaving. In the midst of their conversation most of his teammates had shuffled into the player’s lot. Although they were all disappointed they were no longer in the playoffs, it was back to reality for most of them. They’d get to spend more time with their families, travel the world, or just take a much-needed break from their hectic occupation. For Sidney, it was his first shot at something new; his first time having someone to spend his offseason with and come home to.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.

As he loaded his Range Rover with his gear, he struggled to remember what he’d done to get through the offseason before Loren came along. He knew there were ways to get through it, to ignore that dull pain in his chest every time he thought about watching another team hoist the Cup, but what were they? What had he done before he fell in love?

“Hey.”

Sidney shut the door and turned around, earning a nice view of a certain Jordan Staal and his new fiancée. Apparently he’d gotten tired of messing around on her sometime during the All-Star break and decided to make it official, though Sidney still couldn’t tell if it was his decision or at the insistence of his mother.

“Hey, Staalsy.” He nodded toward the girl wrapped under his teammate’s arm, “Heather.”

“Where’s Loren?” Jordan asked.

“She has to work,” Sidney replied, and he could’ve swore every WAG in earshot cringed at the word. He sighed, finally realizing why his girlfriend wanted no parts of this scene.

“Oh. Well, what’re your plans for the summer?”

Sidney shrugged as he leaned against the side of his car. He figured Jordan or another teammate would have him pinned for a good while to just talk. No one was emotionally prepared to leave just yet. They all lingered, trying desperately to cling to the last bit of Consol they’d have until the fall.

“Nothing yet. I was actually supposed to ask Flower for vacation recommendations, but—”

“Take her to France!” Heather gushed. “She’d love it.”

Jordan smiled down at his significant other. “Cannes was nice.”

“Yeah?” Sidney asked, already knowing France wasn’t in his travel plans. “I’ll talk to Loren about it, see what she thinks.”

“She’s coming to Marc and Vero’s wedding, right?”

“That’s the plan.”

Heather beamed. “I can’t wait to meet her!”

Jordan looked like a deer in headlights. It was one thing for his fiancée to be friendly with the other WAGs; cozying up with the one that walked in on him screwing her roommate was absolutely unacceptable. Still, what could he do? Loren was in the picture for the foreseeable future, and if she happened to rat him out to Heather, he only had himself to blame.

Heather excused herself as her phone rang and the two remaining men shared what could only be described as the look. It wasn’t that everyone disliked the future Mrs. Staal—more like they wondered what on earth she was still doing with Jordan. His infidelities weren’t a secret to anyone, including her and everyone who frequented the Internet, and Sidney couldn’t help but wonder if the rest of the Penguins organization would be as judgmental of Loren.

So far he’d gotten lucky. He knew everyone would be supportive but he also wasn’t so naive as to think that’d keep them from gossiping. It broke his heart to think everyone’s immediate assumption was that Loren was only using him for fame or money. He had to pull out his entire bag of tricks to get her to even consider dating him, but it just wasn’t worth trying to explain that to everyone.

Jordan cleared his throat. “Have you thought about it yet?”

“Thought about what?”

“Well, you’re due for a new contract aren’t you?”

Sidney nodded. “So are you.”

“Yeah,” Jordan laughed, “I guess I am.”

“That sounds ominous.”

“I don’t know, man,” Jordan said, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to start over.”

“They want to resign you, Jordan.”

“Maybe they do.” The blond took a moment to watch the way his girlfriend interacted with whoever was on the phone. Every now and then one of the WAGs would walk by and give her a quick hug or a kiss on the cheek and they’d share a laugh. “Do you think she’d go with you if you signed somewhere else? Loren, I mean.”

“I don’t know. She’s pretty dead set on staying in Philly right now,” Sidney explained. “Where is this coming from?”

“I’ve made a lot of mistakes here, Sid. I just can’t help but think if I went and played somewhere else I’d be a better person.”

Sidney sighed, knowing there was nothing he could say to make Jordan change his mind. As much as he wanted Jordan a part of his team, it wasn’t his decision to make. If Jordan truly wanted to leave he would, and everyone, Sidney included, would just have to accept that.

“I’m terrified to tell Heather.”

“You’re sure this is what you want?”

“No,” Jordan replied, “but I never know what I want.”

“She loves you,” Sidney assured him. “She’ll support you no matter what.”

“What about you?”

“Do I love you?”

Jordan grimaced. “No. Would you support me?”

“Of course. We all would.”

“You think they’d boo me?”

“The fans?” Jordan nodded. “Nah. You’re not a third- or fourth-liner anymore, Jordy. You deserve to play for a team that doesn’t treat you like one.”

“I guess you’re right.”

“A new team won’t automatically make you a better person. You know that, right?”

“Yeah, I know.”

“You’re an incredible hockey player. Any team would be lucky to have you.”

Jordan finally cracked a smile. “Well, I’m no Sidney Crosby.”



Loren hadn’t been able to concentrate for going on three hours. Every time she got herself in the right mindset to sit down and finish her work for the day, another email popped up or her phone rang with another restricted number. She knew what they were about—more blogs or reporters wanting an interview—and all her silent prayers went unanswered. It’s not that she was against speaking with them (even though she was), she just really wanted them to know it wasn’t the best time to harass her. She’d promised Brian it wouldn’t affect her job performance, yet it was nearly time for her lunch break and she had yet to get a single assignment finished.

At twelve-thirty she grabbed her keys and sent a quick text to Sarah, telling her to drop whatever she was doing and meet her at the vegetarian restaurant up the street from the Wells Fargo Center. Neither woman was a vegetarian, but Loren was ready to eat her feelings and that wouldn’t end well for anyone.

The hostess sat the two at a small table in the back. Loren had barely shrugged out of her jacket before Sarah was on her.

“Are you pregnant?”

“What?”

“Is that what this is about?”

“I can’t have lunch with you?”

Sarah scoffed. “You can have all the lunches in the world with me, but the second you send me some sort of fucked up SOS—”

“Calm down,” Loren whispered. “I’m not pregnant, I’m stressed.”

Sarah finally took the seat across from Loren and began sipping her water. Although her temperament had decreased dramatically, she kept the glare she’d adopted the second she spotted Loren outside the restaurant.

“Don’t drag me into it.”

“I just need some advice.” When Sarah didn’t respond, Loren continued. “I don’t know what to do. They won’t leave me alone.”

“Who’s ‘they’?”

“You know—all these bloggers or whatever they are. They’ve been calling me nonstop since someone posted that fucking article yesterday.”

Sarah shrugged. “I don’t know what to tell you, babe. It’s not like you didn’t know your boyfriend was some sort of hockey messiah.”

“What would you do?”

“Sell all my possessions, move to some remote Caribbean island and tell everyone to go fuck themselves.”

“I can’t do that.”

Sarah rolled her eyes. “Then why’d you ask what I would do?”

“I thought you’d be of some assistance.”

“Whoa,” Sarah said, hands up in defense. “You need to redecorate your place or raid my liquor cabinet, I’m your girl. My last boyfriend’s annual income was thirty-thousand. I don’t know fuck all about dating an athlete.”

“This is so fucked up.”

Taking pity upon the woman across from her, Sarah’s approach softened. She’d only known Loren a few months but she knew she didn’t deserve this. All she wanted was a normal, quiet relationship with the man she loved, even if she didn’t admit to feeling anything that deep just yet. Who could fault her for that? Regardless, even if Sarah didn’t know all that went into dating a professional athlete, she knew this was only the beginning.

“Hey, you think Perez Hilton’s gonna call you?”

“Why would he call me?”

“I don’t know,” Sarah shrugged. “Isn’t this gossip thing his shtick?”

“I’m not a celebrity.”

“You will be soon enough, sweetheart.”

Loren made no attempt to hide the way her stomach turned at the thought.



It only took Sidney two days to figure out where to take Loren on vacation; it took another two to convince himself she’d understand why he choose there, of all places. Now he was faced with the dilemma of how to deliver the tickets. Did he show up completely unannounced or did he wait until she came to see him? He wasn’t sure he could wait another week. Then again, he wasn’t sure Loren was a fan of surprises, either. He’d formed a bad habit of showing up at her doorstep.

Loren had been able to get a week’s vacation the week before the draft, which Sidney was expected to attend. He had half a mind to invite her but couldn’t bring himself to ask. Was that too big of a step? She’d told him about the countless phone calls and emails she received on a daily basis and he spent most of his free time trying to think up a way to make the vultures leave her alone. Being 300 miles away surely didn’t help.

If he had a dollar for every time he nearly picked up the phone and begged Loren to quit her job and move in with him he’d never have to play hockey again. He could retire and spend the rest of his days doing whatever he pleased, which would undoubtedly include having an interview quota of one per month and zero television spots. However, it just wasn’t plausible. The only way Loren would leave Philadelphia is if she got fired, and even though Sidney could ensure that happening with a single phone call, he would never do that to her. Some of his teammates would kill to have a girlfriend half as independent as Loren was, and that fact alone made Sidney swell with pride. Being apart so much was torture, but it was worth it.

Love was strange. Everyone always said he’d fall in love when he least expected it, and that much was true, but what they failed to mention that it tore him apart as much as it enlightened him. Every morning he woke up alone he had to tell himself it would all pay off one day, that for right now things were as they had to be. He knew he loved Loren just like he knew he’d do anything in the world for her, but allowing her to stay so far away from him was almost asking too much. He wanted her tucked into his side at every waking moment, never wanted her more than an arm’s length away, didn’t want to accept that right now he couldn’t have any of that.

He sighed as he looked down at the two tickets he’d purchased: round-trip from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania to Halifax, Nova Scotia. If he had any luck at all, he prayed it’d be with him this time around.