Caroline Rae

The rain seemed to fit my mood.

Everyone was well gone. It was just me, sitting alone in the garden that was hidden in the huge place I called home. The rain beat down from high, high above. The once bold and fresh smelling flowers made no affect on me now.

I didn't know what time it was, for the rain destroyed any chance for me to see the moon.

I didn't think. I just sat calm. I just listened to what the rain seemed to be trying to yell at me.

"You should've know." it yelled.

I know.

I should've known. I did know, I just didn't remember. I didn't blame myself. My younger self. What else would a child have done but forget? Deny the existence of any and all monsters. Ignore the ignorance. It was simple.

I hadn't cried. I hadn't drawn in a ragged breath. I simply relished the feeling of air filling my lungs.

"Jasey?"

"I'd like to be alone, Alex."

I heard him shuffle behind me, and then take a seat beside me.

"You don't have to talk." He whispered while looking me in the eyes. He didn't smile, or try to touch me. He didn't try to tell me everything would be okay. We just sat.

After an hour, he spoke.

"When I was little," he whispered, "I use to sit outside in the rain when I was sad and sing this song. I would pretend the rain washed everything away. I would pretend like it made me a new person."

We sat in silence for a few more minutes.

"Do you want to try it?" he whispered.

****

The rain was more warm than cold. Alex and I lay on the ground, mud ruining our clothes. But I didn't care. He sang the song as rain poured down on us.

As Alex sang, a new feeling took over me. It was like my body turned invisable, and the rain beat down on my soul. It passed through my skin and into my bones, melting away all the hurt, the confusion. It washed away that wall I didn't know how to break down.

"Better?" Alex asked.

"I feel like a whole different person." I breathed.

"Good." Alex smiled.

I turned my head sharply towards Alex.

"You guys need to leave."