Caroline Rae

I never got scared, for there's never been anything to scare me. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't jump at the sounds of the light rasp against my door. I checked my clock and stood up from my window seat.

Opening the door slowly, I squinted me eyes at Alex.

"It's three in the morning Alex," I informed. He rolled his eyes and grabbed my hand. I flinched back immediately, and looked to the floor. His face softened but he didn't let go.

"Will you just follow me?" I nodded, and he finally released my hand. I breathed a sigh of relief and followed.

He walked down the corridor, and then down a hall, leading me up flights of stairs. I struggled to keep up, but somehow managed.

"Have you been up here?" he finally questioned.

I cleared my throat. "No,"

"But..you live here." he deadpanned.

"I don't look around because I don't wish to find anything," I told him. His eyebrows scrunched together, but he let it go, leading me away once more.

After another flight of stairs, he finally stopped outside of a broken looking door. The door was a hunk of metal itself. The hinges were rusted red, but the door remained a silver color. Alex looked behind at me, and grinned. He placed both hands against the door and pushed.

The door groaned in resistance, but eventually budged and allowed Alex to lead me into whatever he had discovered. It didn't surprise me that he'd found something. I knew eventually they would. I did however think it'd be Jack to find something first.

The house was huge, and I'd never been interested in looking past the third floor. There could be nothing of much use to me.

I was so wrong.

"Alex," I breathed. He only smiled.

Inside, was the most beautiful garden I'd ever seen. The fresh scent or magnolias filled every sense of mine, and I closed my eyes in admiration. I decided that Myrian made sure it was tended all this time. Hiring gardeners, visiting up here herself to enjoy the view. It was such a view.

The ceiling was nothing but glass cut in odd angles, coming to fine points. The moonlight that shone through them casts random beams everywhere.

Even in the dark, the flowers brightened the whole place. Roses, magnolias, gardenias, sunflowers, tulips and more all welcomed my soul to let free.

"How did you find this place?" I begged of him. He simply shrugged and continued to walk.

When he came to a circle of grass in the middle of the garden, he bluntly lay down. Without hesitance, I assumed the same position. I didn't worry about grass getting in my hair. I didn't worry about manners. I didn't even worry that I was laying beside a boy.

"This is lovely," I told him. He sighed, and turned his head to look me in the eyes.

"Stop," he whispered. I turned back to the moon, and counted the small circles on the surface.

"Stop what?" I asked him.

"Being so polite. So..tight. Just let everything be. You use big words. you cross your legs when you sit. It's agonizing." he said.

"Alex, why do you talk with a British accent to your parents?" I asked him. It was one of the things we'd talked about at his first vocal lesson. Jack often mocked the way he talked too.

"Because my parents talk like that, and I'm used to it. It's how they understand me I guess."

"Then why am I any different?"

He closed his eyes and sighed in defeat.

"I don't know. I've seen small falters in the way you act. When you laugh, when you play guitar. We're getting to you, and you keep rejecting it."

Here, with Alex, in this garden, walls started to break down. Walls I didn't know I had. Not walls of insecurity, or lies. Not the walls you read about in books. Actual walls.

"You boys are getting to me, I'll admit. It scares me." He rose on one arm.

"Why?" He questioned. I turned my head to look him in the eyes.

"I don't want to act like that all the time," I struggled with words. "I've thought about trying to let this go. For years now, actually. But I've realized I can't let go. This is who I am. It's the only thing I have left of my parents. I'm scared if I...relax more...I won't think the way I do now. My mind will be corrupt and my mind won't be near of importance." I said.

"It's okay. I know what you're trying to say." He said. "You don't want to lose the way you think. I get that." I sighed in relief. I'd never explained myself to anyone, so he was easily forgiving for my mess of words.

We sat there all night. Talking. I explained my self, and he translated into simpler terms. I told him about my mother, and what little I knew of my father, to which he asked confused questions about.

"You didn't have a step-father?" he'd asked once.

I laughed lightly. "Certainly not," he'd waved away whatever he was going to say.

After the sun rise, my eye lids got heavy.

"Jasey?" he whispered.

"Yes, Alex?"

"Would it be too daring for you to just fall asleep right here?" He asked with a half-asleep sigh.

"Certainly not."